Escape to the Movies: Centurion

[Rigs83]

I guess Movie Bob is now officially useless as a movie reviewer because he can't let go the fact that a big budget action flick with just about every major action movie star from the last three decades in it will make more money than some shit with Michael Cera in it.

I'd ask you to get over it Movie Bob but instead I will just never watch any of your reviews ever again.

P.S.
Movie Bob this is the Escapist site and they mostly do stuff about videogames and videogames news and one of the biggest franchises in this current generation has a guy taking a chainsaw to the enemies face, another with a main character whose biceps are bigger than his head, and "Boom Headshot" means something cool. Get off the high horse when this audience likes to see stupid action films over an obscure comic book based film.

 

[ninja555]

You would have needed more then one monkey to make the expendables better. You would have needed to have all the monkeys from timesplitters. A normal monkey, a ninja monkey, a zombie monkey, and a cyborg chimp in epic shootouts with lots of bad guys. Hell yeah!

But, great video none the less.

 

[Jeans44]

Wow way to miss what people where mad about, nobody said it wasnt trying (i liked the jock joke he made, nice where all jocks for DEFENDING the movie now) I shouldent be surpised he used the douche way out of ignoreing the critism, he would have liked Expendables if it had a stupid sci-fi element, gore and naked chicks. If were all "sheep" for likeing The Expendables, then I can call you a fuckbrain nerd for liking girls gone wild 3D or whatever.

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

It's hard to take seriously a man who says that Kelly Brook naked is enough to make a film worth watching.

Because she's not, she's the sort of thing that anyone with a brain would hold up as a specific reason not to see a movie. We have the internet for nudity, we have porno mags for nudity, we even have Page 3 of the Sun and various other 'respectable' sources for nudity of the sort kelly Brook can supply. What we have movies for is story. It doesn't have to be a good story, but it can't be supported alone by Kelly's bra.

Which is why I find it hard to now decide whether I should see Centurion, because before I saw this I was tempted, and had Bob reviewed it without the references to Piranha 3D, I'm sure I would have gone and seen it based off this review, but that little opening segment just cast literally his entire review into the 'uncertain' category for me.

Maybe when he reviews a movie, he should stick to that movie, instead of letting himself get sidetracked into other movies. You don't see Yahtzee referring back to the previous week for a solid minute at the start of each review, you wouldn't see the Nostalgia Critic, or the Spoony One, or Linkara, or in fact any of TTGWTG doing it, you wouldn't in fact see anyone else doing that, so why does Bob?

I liked your reviews better when they were a review of the movie you had put in the title Bob. You wanna do a Piranha 3D review? Do a Piranha 3D review, you wanna do a Centurion review? Do a goddamn Centurion review.

 

[Warachia]

As everyone above me stated, nobody cared wether or not you thought the expendables was bad, they cared because you took time out to personally insult them.
Another film critic was fond of saying "YOU deserve better." You could have fixed that with a single apology stating that it's still bad (it's your opinion) and you didn't mean to insult the audience who thought going to such a hugely funded action movie was a good idea, and yet you completly missed the mark.
Fuck you BOB, at least TRY to look into why people were angry.

 

[Mr.Pandah]

Stopped watching when he brought up the two female leads.

For fucks sake either invest in bromide or get a girlfriend.

No one cared about your review of the expendables, they cared about being badly insulted for liking it.

Going to have to agree with this on a certain level.

I watched through the whole review and I have to say that I hate when people say things like a "Good BAD B Movie". They managed to get a piece of shit into theaters because they slapped 3D on it and can make money off of people who just want to see tits and blood. Amazing. I don't need to see tits and ass because my computer can do that for free and I don't need blood because I'll just go play a video game. I want a good story, not some B-rated asinine shit thats just thrown at me to make money...kinda like your view on the Expendables!

 

[Smokescreen]

I get what you liked about Piranha but Centurion as the 'action picture with a brain' part, not so much.

Sorry, Bob-I think you tried to hash out too many ideas in to short a time; the nuggets where there but just not expanded upon enough to really convey what you were going for-at least to me.

 

[Knoxy]

Although I respect that Fassbender is best known for Inglorious Bastards it would be nice to have had his lead role in Hunger mentioned aswell, it's one heck of a movie

OT: Nice review, I've seen Pirhanna 3D and I wholeheartedly agree with Bob in terms of the Tits, Blood and Ving Rhames. Also the ending had me in stiches.

 

[Rigs83]

For your next review do you think you could put your brains back in your pants please?

If Stallone had been wearing a pair of fake breasts throughout the movie would you have enjoyed it?

This is the closest I could find to Stallone wearing fake breasts.

It's from an old 80's flick called "Nighthawk".

 

[TheEnglishman]

Oh boy, nobody is going to back down from this argument. And we have Machete next week. *sigh*

 

[Nerf Ninja]

For your next review do you think you could put your brains back in your pants please?

If Stallone had been wearing a pair of fake breasts throughout the movie would you have enjoyed it?

This is the closest I could find to Stallone wearing fake breasts.

It's from an old 80's flick called "Nighthawk".

I haven't seen that film in years!

 

[snow]

Point critically missed.

While most people griped that you offended those that went to see or even enjoyed Expendables. My main gripe was, while you went on a rampage last week, you didn't exactly "Review" anything. Like I said last week, I know nothing more about the film besides "Bob doesn't like it." This week? I now know that "Bob likes boobs and likes Dog Soldiers." (Which, yeah Dog Soldiers is a damn good movie, and yeah boobs are always great, but they are no reason alone to see a film unless you're watching porn.)

You're so certain that this movie sucks, but you have yet to tell us why besides "It's dumb" or "It's bad." This week, you continue with it, but instead of explaining to us why you felt these feelings about the movie, you try to distract us with other movies instead, all while at the same time, rubbing it in that you don't like the Expendables. If anything, it just seemed that you threw it in there just to piss everyone off more than you did last week. If that is the case, then I guess haha the jokes on all of us, but I feel you may be slipping down that slope where you realize that professional internet trolling scores more hits than being a professional reviewer.

If for some reason you can't say without spoiling the movie, then tell us you can't, or put it in a spoiler box... It'll be a lot closer to doing your job than what you're actually doing right now.

Either that or just drop it all together...

Watch your review of Splice, then watch your review of the expendables and this one again... You can see why I'm sad to see you acting out like this. Your older reviews contained information about the movies that allowed me to get a better grasp of what I'm about to see. Currently all I'm seeing is "Loved it, sucked, boobs, and that one guy from Inglorious Basterds."

What happened?

 

[maddawg IAJI]

I love how Gxas not only predicted it, but he predicted it 2 minutes before someone brought it up. Well done.

As for the Expendable people: Come on, you're still peeved about this? He's voice on the internet, please, just drop it for the good of the comments section. And that goes to Moviebob as well. It's kinda hard to defend yourself when you're inciting flames about it.

The best constructive Criticism I can give: Its a new week. Focus on a new movie. Not last week's.

As for Piranha 3-D, not my type of movie, simply because I despise the whole Spring Break scene. Centurion seems a lot cooler though and I may give it a look. I enjoyed Doomsday so, who knows, maybe I will like it.

 

[sailor_960]

Okay, I might check Centurion out. I thought that based on the horrible add campaign that suggests you can watch the movie before its in theaters, it would be kinda horrible.

 

[Cherry Cola]

Well, he missed the point of the hatred, but whatever, I did enjoy his review of Centurion.

Not so much the Piranha one though, mostly because I don't see how boobs or hot women makes a movie good.

 

[MB202]

What the freaking Hell? I don't recall that many, or even any people defending the movie in regards of "them not trying". More people were offended by your over-generalization of people who want to go see this movie!

What's wrong with you, MovieBob, you're better than this, I know you are! Don't grab the wrong end of the stick! Address what people were REALLY pissed off about in your last review!

 

[chaos order]

wow nice job their bob. o expendables is sht cause everything is done badly" and pirhanas 3D is good because it its a bad movie with gore and nudity. by your logic a "good" bad movies simply comprises of gore and tits.

btw i didnt like expendables either.

ALSO, its not the fact that u didnt like the movie tat everyone had a problem with it was the fact that u pretty much insulted everyone that went to see it.

 

[wrecker77]

Wow, I honestly didn't think you would even bother with seeing piranha. Good double review anyways.