Escape to the Movies: Everly - Salma Hayek Kicks All Of The Ass

MovieBob

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Everly - Salma Hayek Kicks All Of The Ass

Salma Hayek kicks all of the ass.

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Evonisia

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Jun 24, 2013
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This actually looks like a lot of fun, and I certainly hope that elevator set piece is as awesome as the trailer makes it look.

I wonder when the UK release date is.
 

Jman1236

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Sorry to hear that your still sick Bob. At least you didn't have to leave the house to review this week so you can get some rest which is good.

The plot sounds like something out of an old school beat-em up arcade game, might check it up once it hits blu-ray.
 

AvsJoe

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I've been itching to see this one since it first appeared on my radar late last year, and I RARELY get excited for actioners anymore. They're mostly the bloody same, moreso than any other genre, which makes Everly all the more refreshing. Assuming it gets released in my town, my dad and I will go see it in its first weekend.
 

Murlin

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Jul 15, 2009
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If it really does contain a lot of gore à la Dead or Alive I think I'll have to sit this one out.
Hope you get better soon Bob!
 

Aliasi

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Makes me think of the xkcd comic that has "River Tam Beats Up EVERYONE" as a theorized ideal action movie.

Salma Hayek is a bit more credible in the "beat up everyone" role, though.
 

Scorpid

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NO NO NO NO BOB!! You are suppose to be a snobby uppity critic that looks down on movies that relish action and blood for action and bloods sake! What about the sexploitation of Selma Hayak as sex slave turned action hero isn't that disturbing!? This doesn't fit the cartoon character that your own critics have painted of you! Think of them at least!
 

CelestDaer

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So, now they're selling the new Terminator movie on the fact that Arnold shows up in it? Who else wants to bet it's all of five minutes long, just like Johnny Depp in Into the Woods?
 

Sewa_Yunga

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Nov 21, 2011
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Wait, hasn't Knights of Badassdom been out for ages already? I've already seen it quite some time ago...
 

WindKnight

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Sewa_Yunga said:
Wait, hasn't Knights of Badassdom been out for ages already? I've already seen it quite some time ago...
One of the producers bankrupted the production company, stole the movie, and recut it in a manner the director was not happy with, and sold it without really acknowledging anyone but himself.
 

noobiemcfoob

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How many times are you going to show the shot of her turning from the mirror in her panties?

(otherwise, great episode)
 

daxterx2005

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Where on earth did you get that picture of all those fake koopalings?
I saw a Dry Bowser jr. in there...
 

Darth_Payn

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I don't factor in Selma Hayek's ethnicity ( or ethnicities, I heard she's a mix of a lot of them) into her hotness, but how good she looks down' what she do (which is very). So if I have a couple free hours to spare, I'l give this one a look.

And get well soon, Bob! I'd like to hear your takes on Mordecai and that new "found footage" time-travel flick.
 

JennAnge

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Windknight said:
Sewa_Yunga said:
Wait, hasn't Knights of Badassdom been out for ages already? I've already seen it quite some time ago...
One of the producers bankrupted the production company, stole the movie, and recut it in a manner the director was not happy with, and sold it without really acknowledging anyone but himself.
Seriously??

I hear about this, and then I look at all the fairly boring safe fodder the movie industry cranks out, and I'm thinking I'm watching the wrong side of the screen.

OT: Does the movie ever explain how she goes from helpless sex slave whose only way out is becoming a CI, to one-woman-army in the span of a few gunshots?
Or would that question mean I'm bringing too many brain cells to this flick.

Also, it's available now on video-on-demand...and it's released in theaters later this year? Didn't that use to be the other way around?
 

Robot Number V

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I look forward to getting extremely drunk and watching this on Netflix someday.

Also...I'm for more variety in our protagonists as much as the next guy(Seriously, it's absurd how many blonde white dudes named Chris are starring in our blockbusters these days), but...didn't "person of color" used to be a term used by racist people? As in "Here's the white drinking fountain, and here's the 'colored' one"?
 

Piorn

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Wait, woman of color? Does she fight using crayons or something?
The movie looks great, though.
 

ryukage_sama

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Robot Number V said:
I look forward to getting extremely drunk and watching this on Netflix someday.

Also...I'm for more variety in our protagonists as much as the next guy(Seriously, it's absurd how many blonde white dudes named Chris are starring in our blockbusters these days), but...didn't "person of color" used to be a term used by racist people? As in "Here's the white drinking fountain, and here's the 'colored' one"?
Given that the NAACP hasn't changed it's name, I'm pretty sure "person of color" is about as if not less offensive and appropriately non-specific as non-white. The film doesn't exactly get an "A" for being a progressive film given that she's still blowing away Asian men running their slave brothel, but the presence of the Yakuza is entirely genre appropriate. So it's a good step on familiar ground.
 

gorfias

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I'll definitely want to see this (And Wrong Turn 2) ASAP. They both sound great.

I think FF just might be great. Even as Marvel ends the comicbook! And I'm looking forward to Arnie. The trailer gave me more reason to hope and look forward to it than Terminator 4. (Worst Game I bought in Gen 7.)
 

MovieBob

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Robot Number V said:
I look forward to getting extremely drunk and watching this on Netflix someday.

Also...I'm for more variety in our protagonists as much as the next guy(Seriously, it's absurd how many blonde white dudes named Chris are starring in our blockbusters these days), but...didn't "person of color" used to be a term used by racist people? As in "Here's the white drinking fountain, and here's the 'colored' one"?

There's no governing body that makes up the "rules" on these things, but for awhile now (as far as I'm aware) it's been generally accepted that "persons of color" is A.) markedly different from "colored" and B.) preferable to "minority," as minority has the potential to carry an unintended sense of lessening language-wise and also no longer reflects actual demographic math in various areas.

I'd stress, of course, that this is speaking strictly in terms of U.S. coloquialisms :)
 

Canadamus Prime

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Another movie I've never heard of. I might watch it when it comes to Netflix. Theaters just aren't worth it anymore.