Escape to the Movies: New Moon

YYZed

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Jun 25, 2008
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OT: I just saw this movie with my girlfriend...i thought it was really bad: acting, effects, action, story, ext. I did really like the whole like hidden Vampire community with the val'somethings' and what not,i thought that was really cool, do they expand more into that in the future books? the whole love thing was EXTREMELY corny and over dramatic and somewhat embarassing (im 18). The movie is also insanely predictable...all in all a waste of money.
 

Scumpernickle

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Sep 16, 2009
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Ranooth said:
Im doing my best to stop my girlfriend from seeing this but im running out of options. It ethical to chain your girlfriend up outside of the bedroom?
I'm glad my girlfriend has taste, she'd only go see it for the "cute" (pale) guys though. At least thats what she said...

After watching this review, I'm glad I went to go see 2012 and The Blind Side instead.
 

AvsJoe

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May 28, 2009
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Holy crap I haven't laughed this hard in a while. Never have I heard such a fervent obliteration of the series. I will say that I didn't hate the books (I disliked them, but hate is too strong a word), but the first movie was terrible and this one doesn't look any better. I will still probably see it though, if only to get it the f*ck over with and add one more movie to my vote history on IMDB.

One thing I will say is that I feel bad for Cameron Bright. I was looking forward to him becoming a star in the movie world (especially for his performance in Thank You For Smoking) but if this is how he becomes a genuine household name then I feel terrible for him.
 

SovietSecrets

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Nov 16, 2008
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VanityGirl said:
EcksTeaSea said:
VanityGirl said:
I saw it today. It was pretty bad.
The only good thing in the movie was the vampire fights and the werewolf fights.

So basically, I just liked seeing people get the crap beat out of them.
I think you would enjoy Fight Club if you haven't seen it yet.

OT: Glad to know I can sleep through it if I ever have to go see it in theaters. Was going to anyways, but the reinforcement is nice.
Of course I've seen Fight Club. It's a beautiful cult movie, I love the concept.
I try to watch as many movies as I can so that I can add to discussions my friends/other people may have.

I also enjoyed 300 because it was violent and awesome.

But that's not even on topic
Bloody/Gory movies with fighting in them are always a good time for everyone and awesome.
 

Lusulpher

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Jun 12, 2009
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Cliff_m85 said:
Trivun said:
Did you enjoy the last book where Edward 'makes love' to Bella so hard that he breaks bones? Or that she literally got pregnant from a being that has no blood flow so no erection is possible? Or that the author states that the baby has an extra chromosome that allows for the baby to be a hybrid vampire-human when really an extra chromosome = down syndrome? Or how about that Jacob will be 'tapping dat' baby when it's 6 years old because vampires age faster, yet lore absolutely states that they never age?
SO confirmation that the books are soap-opera grade material AND illogical.

If you want to see a sexual, distrubing, well-acted vampire movie, rent interview With A Vampire. Handsome cast, amazing effects, Gothic scenery. Enjoy.

This is the Jonas Brothers of movies(Emo/appealing to wussies). But whatever makes ginies tingle.

Edit: Harry Potter the early books, are about child abuse, politics, and the bearings of power.
The latter books are about facing adulthood, politics, and death.
Don't confuse the books with the Disney films.

And Mrs. Rowling's prose is sufficient enough to allow a wide range of age groups to actually read books that contain 300+ pages...she is talented.
 

Infernai

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Apr 14, 2009
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You know what the twilight series needs? Fucking Crispin Freeman as Alucard busting in and killing the whole fucking cast. That would have made this series more fucking bearable.
 

Yelchor

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Aug 30, 2009
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I've seen the first movie once, and it didn't interest me in the least. However for some reason all the girls who watched it became thrilled and excited to very extensive levels. I tried to concentrate, but saw only most of the time shallow characters along with strangely put up plot-twists and overall direction.

From what I understand the movie was mainly focused around a feminine perspective. In this case a teenage girl who gets... Ahem. Her more exotic dreams come true. Which is perhaps why it is appealing to many girls in that age. I guess they mostly picture themselves in the main character's role and become more immersed despite the lack of story-quality.

Actually... I get the feeling that the main character deliberately throws herself into depressive and unhealthy situations in hopes of attracting a fantasy-hero.

...When I think about it, this could be a useful way to understand the mindset of females in their younger years. I'm sure you could come up with a good concept making you ponder on the Human mind as it tries to escape from reality and into dreams beyond the horizon. Sadly this story does not focus on anything like that which could grant it depth, instead playing around with apparently common girl dreams for temporary entertainment.

A shame, in my opinion.
 

TOGSolid

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Jul 15, 2008
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However for some reason all the girls who watched it became thrilled and excited to very extensive levels
Try for their whole god damn lives. Women are, by nature, psychotic hosebeasts.


Moviebob, I love your reviews, and this one was no exception. However, I'm really tempted to start a fund to get you a better microphone for Christmas.
 

Doug

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Apr 23, 2008
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MovieBob said:
AliciaPeck said:
As far as the review specifically, you mention Stephenie Meyer's chosen profession, and as I'm sure you haven't done any research on her or the series past reading/bashing them, I'll give you a little insight. Mrs. Meyer's "chosen profession" was stay at home mom. (yeah bet ya didn't know that) She had a dream one night (won't go in depth) that she wanted to remember so she wrote it down (chapter 13 of Twilight). From there, she just kept writing, she never went to school to be a writer, she never intended on being a writer, so YES her writing style isn't popular among so called "avid" readers or even more "basic" readers...
Actually, I did know that. I also know that one CAN have more than one profession (I've got two, possibly three by certain measures.) I'm sure she's a fine mother (though I'd LOVE to be a fly on the wall if the creator of Edward Cullen happened to have a dating-age daughter who came home with an ACTUAL dark/mysterious/violent guy with "serial abuser" written on his forehead "but he says he WORSHIPS me!!!!!") but since she's publishing these books that makes her a professional writer, and not a very good one. And I'm not talking about the story, I'm talking about basic Jr. High creative-writing class stuff here: Obvious foreshadowing, atonal dialogue, dangling plot threads, ham-fisted metaphors, finales where nothing happens, etc.

There is so much more I want to say, but I'm going to end with this. You talk about these actors (Pattinson, Stewart, Lautner) and you say that they'll have to live with the fact that they were in this series for years. You have it backwards, how much money, how much fame they are getting for having the opportunity to be a part of a World-Wide phenomenon. People are wanting them for their movies more and more already.
You might want to ask Jaleel White how that worked out for him. Or Macauly Culkin. Dustin Diamond. The Olsen Twins. Any of those kids from the "Power Rangers" shows. Have you heard from Jake Lloyd lately? Hayden Christensen? Hell... how many 'new' actors with onscreen roles in even "Star Wars" went on to much? ONE: Harrison Ford. Carrie Fisher fell off the face of the Earth, Mark Hammill spent decades slumming in B-movies before finding his calling as a voice-actor. It doesn't even "only" apply to movies: Only Michael survived The Jackson Five, only Timberlake is still a star after the 90s 'boy band' bubble burst. "That 70s Show" was on for YEARS, huge hit... the only member of the main cast who's currently a bankable actor is Mila Kunis, since even Kutcher has moved mostly into being a commercial pitchman and Mr. Demi Moore.

Frankly, looking at it objectively, I mostly see the "Twilight" alumns breaking on similar lines. As of right now, the only one of these kids I can virtually garauntee you you'll still hear from once this has wrapped up is Anna Kendrick, ("Jessica,") because she has a co-starring role in a fantastic George Clooney movie called "Up In The Air" that'll be out later in the year (probably nominated for a bunch of Oscars too) and she's going to blow the hell up after that. Lautner has some kind of martial-arts background in addition to being a not-terrible actor in these, so if he hooks up with some cheap action vehicles or maybe a superhero franchise he could make it (though maybe not after all the mind-bogglingly stupid stuff he'll be made to do onscreen in "Breaking Dawn.")

Stewart IS a good actress, but this series is going to haunt her - people making the kind of "quality" movies she'll need to build a solid reputation won't want to risk the blowback of putting "someone from Twilight" in the cast. Hell, she probably can't even get other "GENRE" work - every other actor in her generation is trying to hook-in with superhero/scifi franchises as a safety net, but she probably wouldn't be able to: Can you imagine if there was even a RUMOR that she was up for, just as an example, "Batgirl?" The comic fans would RIOT at the idea of anyone from "Twilight" 'tainting' their stuff. It's unfair, and it sucks, but it is what it is.

Pattinson, on the other hand? You're NEVER gonna hear from him again six to ten years from now (and you can tell he knows this - hence why he's such a tool about Meyer and the fans when caught off-guard.) He's not an especially good actor, and after this his "likability" is shot to hell. He has some wannabe-edgy urban-crime thing coming out soon, just watch: It'll do a HUGE opening weekend then fall off the radar. He'll be LUCKY to end up like, say, Scott Baio - probably more like Willie Ames. A decade from now he'll have "Found Jesus" or somesuch ;)
Twilight fanboy...
 

Gaderael

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MovieBob said:
Can you imagine if there was even a RUMOR that she was up for, just as an example, "Batgirl?" The comic fans would RIOT at the idea of anyone from "Twilight" 'tainting' their stuff. It's unfair, and it sucks, but it is what it is.
I think you'd be very wrong on that. I can see every Batman fan waiting for the scene where The Joker paralyzes her.
 

Doug

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Apr 23, 2008
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Noelveiga said:
You do realize we were talking about Harry Potter there, not Twilight, right?

I imagine everything would pretty much apply, but still, accuracy is important.
Huh.... that was odd. I'm sure I clicked on the right quote button. But apparently not. Either way, I've fixed it now - apologies, I wasn't even intending to reference you.
 

blanksmyname

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Aug 2, 2009
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My girlfriend and I were planning to see this and make fun of it the whole way through, but I suddenly remembered how I consider New Moon to be the worst book I've ever read and I'm really starting to worry that this'll be unbearable to sit through.

I read a review saying that Bella proved to be a very annoying character and she's my main issue with the series. In my opinion, she is the most annoying character in the history of literature, beating Holden Caulfield because he actually has some depth and complexity (even when you don't want him too).

Anyways, looking forward to next week's review.
 

Daveman

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Jan 8, 2009
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I can't watch it because I'm afraid my penis will fall off if I do so. Somebody give me the scientific name for that phobia.

Also, I read twilight and it sucked, you know in the trailer for the movie there's that action sequence in the room with the mirrors (didn't think so). Yeah, that actually never happens in the book, the one bit of excitement I thought the book was leading up to. Nothing exciting happens in the ENTIRE book. And wtf is up with her falling in love with a guy who looked at her with total disgust constantly for like a day? Has Stephanie Meyer met a female human being? The books also about as subtle as a brick.

(why did I read it? so I could justify saying it sucked)
 

reg42

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Mar 18, 2009
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I heard Stephanie Meyer went into a trance and when she woke up she all of the books had been written... Spooky right? And totally one hundred perfect tru-
BAHAHAHAHA!!!
Couldn't say that with a straight face.

Anyway I don't see that big deal with Twilight. The characters are flawed in an unrealistic way and also very unlikeable and unrelatable. The main chick is a selfish *****, and she really doesn't think of anyone but herself. Maybe I missed something, but why do the vampires fucking sparkle? It doesn't make any sense! I know its a fantasy movie and all that, but I don't remember them explaining it at all. I wouldn't care so much if there wasn't a HUGE fanbase claiming it's the best thing since Citizen Kane or something.
 

Cavouku

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Mar 14, 2008
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By an unfortunate happenstance, I came into possession of the final book. I attempted to read the first chapter. I caused myself to get lost, simply because I was looking for the good writing. When I didn't find it after chapter one, I skipped to the last page for a "happily ever after" moment, and then said "I now know all I need to know about this book series. It art shit."

I vowed never to contribute to it intentionally, so no, I haven't read the other books, or seen the movie, and the fourth book was free (my dad thought I'd like it for some odd reason [male here], the girl at the gas station was done with it). But after taking a browse through Wikipedia, I've only cemented my beliefs.

Please people. Do not pay to read or watch it. And I only say that because I understand some of you may want to read or watch it. Hopefully to understand how bad it is.

And I don't mean bad as in it's terrible bad, I mean bad as in it's so bland it's disgusting, bad.
 

Cavouku

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Daveman said:
I can't watch it because I'm afraid my penis will fall off if I do so. Somebody give me the scientific name for that phobia.

Also, I read twilight and it sucked, you know in the trailer for the movie there's that action sequence in the room with the mirrors (didn't think so). Yeah, that actually never happens in the book, the one bit of excitement I thought the book was leading up to. Nothing exciting happens in the ENTIRE book. And wtf is up with her falling in love with a guy who looked at her with total disgust constantly for like a day? Has Stephanie Meyer met a female human being? The books also about as subtle as a brick.

(why did I read it? so I could justify saying it sucked)
Horribleshitphobia?

How about this; she wanted to write the entire series again from EDWARD'S point of view.

Because writing a book as shitty as possible once isn't enough. We all wanted to hear how the stalker/doormat felt about it's quality. And knowing Meyers, it'd pretty much just be how much he wants her about 76 1/2 times over.

Like when a guy writes a story about how much a girl wants him? I see it a bit in manga, assuming half of what I read is written by males, but I can't be sure.

This has convinced me that my story of a scarecrow fighting Jack Frost is pure genius.