Escape to the Movies: New Moon

loip9114

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Oct 29, 2009
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Haha exactly what I thought would happen.
Personally I feel the same way.

And to others who say it would be that people are jealous.
Well that's bullocks, I envy mrs.meyers for being so good at draining these people's cash like crazy. But she can have it. The first movie was just so fucking blech, that I didn't even thought of seeing this.
 

sipe

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Mar 18, 2008
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Really nice apart from all those BEEEEP's being much louder than anything else. And I can't get that his saying when I hear Fu*beep*k. I don't like the American way of censoring everything ;)

But yeah, nice one Bob, keep it up.
 

Saarai-fan

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Nov 12, 2009
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Good job Bob for a great review. I don't like the bleeping, but I understand your frustration with this crappy book saga made into even crappier movies.

In my opinon, the real thing that bothers me about Twilight is it's popularity with girls. I mean, seriously, is Robert Pattinson really that hot? He's basically the male version of Megan Fox, and like her and their lastest movies (Jennifer's Body), they're overhyped and just about as attractive as an employee you'd meet at a Abercombie & Fitch store, which is between moderately and "meh" attractive as far as I'm concerned. Both of them lack good acting skills, and they give me the feeling that they're very near towards the end of their 15 minutes of fame. As how Megan Fox drew the dumb male demographic to Jennifer's Body, Robert draws the dumb female demographic to Twilight, along with all the other shirtless guys they show in it to provide them eyecandy, showing an unfortunate decline in how some people seem to care more for how attractive the actors/actressess and the special effects are in the films, than actual good story telling and good acting.

The only other thing that bothered me is that the last movie Twilight won MTV's Move of the Year award last time, and that was dumb considering there were better contenders. I mean sure, the MTV awards aren't as important as the Oscars or Academy awards, but they do show somewhat on what the people are liking these days. If District 9 is up for movie of the year and New Moon is one of the contenders, I won't blame anybody going unannounced onto the stage and pull a Kanye West to say that it's bs if New Moon wins like how the last movie did. In fact, if MovieBob is for whatever reason at the MTV awards, is around near the stage, and New Moon wins over something good like District 9 for Movie of the Year, please do pull a Kanye West to say how dumb it is to give them that award over something more deserving. Well, at least that's what I believe.
 

ICanThinkOfAName

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Oct 9, 2009
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I'm disappointed in movie bob, like he said in harry potter you will ether love it or hate it, and since twilight is basically the same with its fanbase i really dont see a point in actually wating time watching a movie then reviewing it since we already know the outcome
 

Arella18

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Apr 22, 2009
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Twilight is the shittiest crappiest book series I have ever had the displeasure of the plot being screamed at me by rabid fangirls in the entire universe. Vampires burn up in the sun, werewolves are literally halfman half wolves and cannot shift at will. Plus...vampires don't date humans they eat the damn things...and Bella is the stupidest moron in the universe so yay...dump all over the Twilight series with good and funny jokes ^_^.
 

orangeapples

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Aug 1, 2009
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I'm gonna watch it (22 year old male), for the same reason I watched Twilight. TGWTG's Bum Review said it was going to be bad. the Bum hasn't reviewed New Moon, but I think it is going to be just as bad, and just as hilarious.

I watched Dragonball Evolution and Street Fighter: Legend of Chun-Li in theaters for the same reason. It's hilarious.
 

ilion

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Aug 20, 2009
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With Clan tremere i used to induce heart attacks inside the discos in vampire the masquerade bloodlines. thats the only kind of vampire i like. that game would probably make one hell of a movie, AND I played "nice vampire" most of the time.. .
 

likalaruku

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Nov 29, 2008
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Stay away from it? Yessir! You don't have to tell me twice. I'm a chick & even I would rather get my tongue forked & put a bone through my nose than watch Twilight movies.
 

IAmWright777

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Sep 25, 2009
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Trivun said:
So if you don't like it, why watch it? There's no need to post here if you're just going to spew about how you don't like MovieBob and you don't want his videos here. Next time don't bother posting if it's just going to be "get him out!". If you don't like it, no-one's forcing you to watch it. That's all.
This is my opinion with several things. Ex: I tried the twilight series, but eh.... it wasn't for me. No worries, I just won't watch/read any more of it. Nor will I date girls that can't shut up about it.

Though, I think that if we followed Trivun's advice right here, we would find the world to be more peaceful. And less flamey.
 

Seneschal

Blessed are the righteous
Jun 27, 2009
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Great review. I actually liked the movie. Never read the books, kinda liked the first movie too.

Perhaps it's the music (at least they compile a decent soundtrack), the cinema experience (I actually enjoy beeing in a screaming, swooning theater - I watch smart movies at home), the cinematography (far from amateurish), the effects, the cast...

I mean, it's one of the weakest stories I've ever watched, but assembled in a quality infrastructure. Which makes it TRAGIC (and probably inspires so many haters), but people would have to be blind to miss the potential - practically everyone working on the film, the actors, the crew, the director, made a decent effort. Which cannot be said for the author.

I was entertained, but 50% of the fun was the moviegoer crowd and all the swoon/boo/sigh/laughing material that was thrown our way. It was actually quite smart to tailor the movie to maximize the impact in a theater (but it may be just me - I had fun with a hundred screaming pre-teens on a midnight showing of My Bloody Valentine).

I think it would make a good monster movie. The fight choreography is okay, the effects look fake, but work well, etc. Sure, it would be an Underworld clone, but I've seen much worse concepts brought to the screen as "monster-movies."

Also, it's obvious in some scenes that it would also make a great teenage romance flick. Not exactly Mean Girls, but it can be funny and with spontaneous dialogue, the cast is perfectly suited to appeal to a junior audience, and they certainly show talent. But then the characters start the paranormal talk, the awkwardly long romantic scenes with practically Square-Enix ambiguous undefined half-sentence dialogue. No amount of talent can win you an Oscar with writing that atrocious.

All in all, an entertaining mess with bad concepts and ham-fisted execution, but apart from the story that believes us all to be idiots, it's not handled badly. It's more like seeing an abomination like Plan 9... but then you notice that it's filmed with skill, talent and effort, which actually drives me nuts.

Everyone here hates it for the inane dialogue, the outright ridiculous love scenes, the stupid characters, raping the vampire myths, the fanbase, etc. I haven't really heard anyone complain that it was shot badly, that the presentation was crap, that they made cheap sets, a horrible soundtrack, bad editing or anything similar. So, it's bad because it's brainless? I agree. But how hypocritical is that coming from a subculture that values gameplay mechanics, the sophistication of pixels on a screen, sound quality, exploitative reward-based progression and cheap gimmicks over and beyond story and character development and consistency. We've got our Twilights and New Moons in the form of Gears of War and its ilk, but we call them our "guilty pleasure," not "teeny bopper crap." Cute.
 

300lb. Samoan

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Mar 25, 2009
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Tonight on At The Movies, Phillips and Scott both said "See It", and Tony said it would turn you into a 14 year old girl.
 

Kededro

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Nov 18, 2009
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I was indifferent to this series until a girl told me I "need to be more like Edward [Cullen]."

From then on I ditched her and came to understand what part of these books truly appealed to young girls.
 
Feb 13, 2008
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ilion said:
With Clan tremere i used to induce heart attacks inside the discos in vampire the masquerade bloodlines. thats the only kind of vampire i like. that game would probably make one hell of a movie, AND I played "nice vampire" most of the time.. .
Read Clan Giovanni's discipline "Flick", way cooler ;)
AceInTheHole16 said:
I was indifferent to this series until a girl told me I "need to be more like Edward [Cullen]."
Let her read book 4 and then see if she still wants her stomach bitten open :)
 

lyubohar

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Nov 23, 2009
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What an amateurish and uninspired review of a really bad movie. I almost felt asleep while listening to the monotone voice, stupid "jokes" and the overused "everybody-likes-it-so-I-am-going-to-hate-it" attitude. This SpongeBob guy must pay to get published here.
 

CMon

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Jun 18, 2009
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It's probably not that much of a secret that I'm not a big fan of your reviews, Bob, but I must say that I really, REALLY enjoyed this one.

It was just enough witty, it was just enough to-the-point, and most importantly of all, I found myself nodding in agreement the whole time ;)
 

Nazulu

They will not take our Fluids
Jun 5, 2008
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OMG! You won't believe this.

A girl at school asked me if I liked Twilight and I said "yes", but I thought she was talking about the Twilight Zone because I had never heard of the Twilight series before.

Anyway, I watched this review thinking it was a sequal to the Twilight Zone but unfortunately not, I am probably just going to ignore these movies now.

Also another thing, the censor sounds are annoying and you didn't really explain that much, you just came in saying it's rubbish and it's crap in every other way but no examples for proof, but your probably right.
 

NewGeekPhilosopher

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Feb 25, 2009
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SkullCap said:
Hmmm, just let her see it or else she'll hold this over your head forever. Maybe the fairies of common sense will rain a cloud of pixie dust in the theater and the audience of XX-chromosones will finally realize that this series is some author's attempt to cash-in on the age group of women that have grown out of Harry Potter.

I've said it before this series is a joke. Every time this franchise makes money Bram Stoker cries bloody tears.

On second thought, don't use fishing line or duct tape, but a nice soft rope will do. Tie her to a chair and make her watch the 1931 movie Dracula starring Bela Lugosi then show her the Wolfman movie. Take two and call me in the morning.
Bram Stoker Cries Bloody Tears - Good band name.

For those of you who haven't had the agony of reading it, my blogger pal Chris Sims reviewed the Stephanie Meyer "Female Force" biographical comic - you can read the review here, God help us all:

http://www.comicsalliance.com/2009/11/12/stephenie-meyer-comic-book-twilight/
 

userwhoquitthesite

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Jul 23, 2009
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Aptus said:
I would rather watch a 12 hour porno directed by Uwe Boll and starring a platypus and a wheelchair than go anywhere near this piece of shit franchise.
Okay, I get the point you are trying to make and I agree with your INTENDED meaning, but honestly, I think what you have just described would be amazing to watch.


Anyway, I was very pleased with this review, and only am saddened by the knowledge that it and countless other like-minded vehement protests to the subject will do nothing to halt the spread of this ridiculous mormon porn hackneyed scribbling. \

While I typically find MovieBob over-assured of his own critical authority and merit (which, to be fair, all critics are guilty of) I wholeheartedly agree with his assertion put forth in this review.

At time of posting, I see an article about Underworld 4 and can only hope that this entry to that series will be better than the last and MAKE VAMPIRES HALFWAY DECENT AGAIN.


Besides, why would anyone want to read a woman's allegorical confession to how wet she gets over (insert preferred term for what colonists called "indians") and her acknowledgment that she could never surpass her upbringing's inherent racism to actually fuck anything but a white man?