Escape to the Movies: Noah - Brave, Bold, Bizarre and Kind Of Brilliant
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The "Passion of the Christ is antisemitic" argument is pretty old and stupid. Have you read the bible? That's how it's written. To not include it would be like filming Oliver Twist and omitting the negative portrayal of street urchins. Hate the film all you want, but use a legitimate criticism already
Ass mate, ASS. Say it rightjosh4president said:
The moral is the same as it eve was, stop screwing with crazy chicks! We know they're untrustworthy, dangerous and have slept with half the men in the area but you still role with her like she won't cut something off if you piss her off.Ashoten said:
Same with men, how women choose the openly bad men but want excitement and the fact they say nice things to them even though they got a woman on the side, take part in illegal activity or have kids everywhere.
We're as bad as each other we need to stop letting our loins get the better of us
Fair enough, though I'm reminded of Ben Thompson's reading of the story of Samson:Ass mate, ASS. Say it right
"After Samson had reached manhood, he was walking through town one day when he saw a fine ass Philistine babe. As was the custom back in those days, he went home and told his Dad that he wanted to marry this chickenhead. His folks, being the good Jewish parents they were, were all like, "but Samson, she's not a Jew!" He said he didn't care, and he wanted this babe to be his wife. A couple days later he was headed back into town to go on a date with this chick when all of a sudden a huge-ass fucking PISSED-OFF LION jumped out of the brush. This thing immediately started tearing ass towards him, roaring and baring it's razor-sharp teeth. Well Samson didn't even give a shit. He grabbed the fucking thing and pulled it apart with his bare hands like it was a piece of paper made out of beef. After destroying the King of the Jungle with nothing more than a bad attitude and the ole' meat hooks, Samson went off to his date. They got some Starbucks and hung out, and decided they were going to get married because they were totally into each other. At the rehearsal dinner before the wedding, Samson issued a riddle to thirty of his Philistine wedding guests. He told them that if they couldn't answer the riddle they each had to give Samson one of their finest robes. However, if they were able answer the riddle, then he would give one fine robe to each of the thirty guests. They got all psyched up about the idea of getting some free swag, so they agreed. Samson presented them with the riddle, but they were totally stumped. The guests eventually got pissed and told Samson's wife that they were going to fucking set her and her father on fire if she didn't tell them the answer to the riddle. So she of course immediately went home and cried and whined to Samson until he finally gave her the correct answer. She immediately went back to the Philistines and passed the info along, and they were then able to answer Samson's riddle correctly. Just like that - BAM - he had to come up with thirty fine robes. Luckily, Samson, being the resourceful man that he was, knew just how to do this. He got SUPER fucking Omega pissed, traveled to the Philistine village of Ashkelon, killed thirty dudes with his bare hands, stole their robes and presented his asshole wedding guests with the pilfered shit. Now THAT'S how a badass handles that sort of dilemma."
http://www.badassoftheweek.com/samson.html
To be fair, I don't think Cain's offspring are all that big on science and crap like that. They just see it as their right to tear shit up.marioandsonic said:
I have to say I love how Bob will lavish praise on Noah and basically tell religious people to "Get over it," but we all know damn well that when it comes to movies made out of comic books, if they're not enough like the comics, Bob throws an absolute shit fit, because then it's not a "bold reimagining" or "making the movie their own," it's heretical blasphemy, an insult to the fans, etc. While we all know that Bob dislikes religion and religious people, I wish he'd at least be able to think to himself that religious people will probably not like this thing and to not see it because they'd be offended. After all, aren't we in America entitled to never be offended? Or is that just for certain people?
Some of my friends went to see it and walked out halfway through it. My cousin's family saw it and while they stayed, they hated it but kept thinking it might start getting good. Hell, the second I heard the "vegans good, carnivores bad" bullshit, I decided the movie wasn't for me and got a double bacon cheeseburger while imagining a tear rolling down the cheeks of vegans worldwide.
Some of my friends went to see it and walked out halfway through it. My cousin's family saw it and while they stayed, they hated it but kept thinking it might start getting good. Hell, the second I heard the "vegans good, carnivores bad" bullshit, I decided the movie wasn't for me and got a double bacon cheeseburger while imagining a tear rolling down the cheeks of vegans worldwide.
Fuck yeah!, I want to see Samson teaming up with his buddies, the mouse, the man-rock and the dragon, all kicking all kinds of ass with cool music playing in the background!.
... What?, not that [http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0f/NES-LittleSamson.jpg] Samson?... well, I guess it could kinda work too.
Also, do we get to see Noah lifting an ox and a horse?
... What?, not that [http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/0/0f/NES-LittleSamson.jpg] Samson?... well, I guess it could kinda work too.
Also, do we get to see Noah lifting an ox and a horse?
Ok, as a Christian I have to admit I am a little sick of the "sanitized" complaint.
Yes most depictions of these events are the 'Sunday School' versions. THIS IS A PROBLEM! I can guess that most people stopped going to church when they were fairly young, or were informed by someone how did. From what I heard there were only two huge problems here from a Biblical perspective.
1) Fire Sword:
I do not believe that humans ever had access to anything like real sorcery. However, in the context of the movie, it's so awesome that I don't care.
2) Vegi vs. Meat:
Huge plot hole, EVERYBODY was on the all plant diet back then. In fact it was the Flood that lead to God authorizing humans to eat meat in the first place.
Yes most depictions of these events are the 'Sunday School' versions. THIS IS A PROBLEM! I can guess that most people stopped going to church when they were fairly young, or were informed by someone how did. From what I heard there were only two huge problems here from a Biblical perspective.
1) Fire Sword:
I do not believe that humans ever had access to anything like real sorcery. However, in the context of the movie, it's so awesome that I don't care.
2) Vegi vs. Meat:
Huge plot hole, EVERYBODY was on the all plant diet back then. In fact it was the Flood that lead to God authorizing humans to eat meat in the first place.
Could it simply be a relic/gift from the fallin angels? Maybe he did them a favour or maybe it had something to do with why they are fallen Angels in the first place like they lost that sword and man got it :/seiler88 said:
And now we all run the risk of appendicitis. The creator gives with one hand...
Noah? Ah, No!
Seriously, that was one convoluted description of a movie. Call me a "smug intellectual" if you want to. This movie has been over-budget, over-hyped shit sandwich from the word "Greenlight". A valid question would be, "Who is this movie for?" If it's not for Christians, and it's not for intellectuals. I'm guessing they are aiming for people who are not particularly religious who will watch anything with big special effects and action scenes.
I'll be disappointed in humanity if this movie becomes number one at the Box Office this weekend.
Seriously, that was one convoluted description of a movie. Call me a "smug intellectual" if you want to. This movie has been over-budget, over-hyped shit sandwich from the word "Greenlight". A valid question would be, "Who is this movie for?" If it's not for Christians, and it's not for intellectuals. I'm guessing they are aiming for people who are not particularly religious who will watch anything with big special effects and action scenes.
I'll be disappointed in humanity if this movie becomes number one at the Box Office this weekend.
And the Lord spake unto the Angel that guarded the eastern gate, saying Where is the flaming sword which was given unto thee?seiler88 said:
And the Angel said, I had it here only a moment ago, I must have put it down some where, forget my own head next.
And the Lord did not ask him again.
Or perhaps this is is continuity with Pratchett and Gaiman's Good Omens, where the angel guarding Eden gave Adam and Eve to flaming sword to help them keep warm.hittite said:
OT: This sounds like an interesting movie. I hope Ridley Scott's Exodus turns out good as well.
I actually kind of dig that look for a villain, but I'm not really into Spiderman so I understand if I'm missing a big reason why he shouldn't look like that. I'm more upset at how Michelangelo looked in that other picture, weird as hell. I shouldn't be afraid of the ninja turtles.Pallindromemordnillap said:
That's a lot of hate for a movie you haven't seen yet, man.KissingSunlight said:
It's not that unusual to figure out that a movie is not going to be good, or at the very least, something that will not appeal to you from watching trailers and reading reviews. Noah is one of those movies from the first time I heard about it. I knew it wasn't going to be something that would appeal to me. The more I heard & read about it. The more convinced that this movie will not appeal to very many people.AdagioBoognish said:
This movie seems to want to appeal to the lowest common denominator without trying to alienate people who aren't Christians.
I don't know what to make of this Captcha. Chutzpah
I'm pretty sure they were going for something that mid 2000's comic book movies were going for (see: Fantastic 4, Green Lantern, etc) in that they used the license to attract the core fanbase from the printed material to the show to draw up a big opening weekend, then use the numbers from said weekend on top of the big special effects to keep on the "Lowest COmmon Denominator", aka the people you mentioned. On top of causing religious outrage after said opening weekend, the likes of which is designed to try to get the anti-religious audience/critics (see: MovieBob) showing up in order to support anything that cheeses off the religious (see: Dante's Inferno marketing).KissingSunlight said:
OT:
I'm not TERRIBLY offended by this kind of thing, although as has been said above me the whole "Let's do a non white-washed version of the old testament!" thing is not only unoriginal (it's kinda low-hanging fruit to prod at us religious folk), but unnecessary, as those of us who stay in church long enough learn all of the horrors that the Bible doth hold, such as Lot's daughters getting him drunk and raping him, an entire city trying to tear down a house to rape the angels who were staying there (and the man who offered his daughters up to the mob to get them to back off), or the prophet who got pissed at some hecklers and so sicced some bears on them.
I will agree with Bob on the ending, however. A Samson movie done in this style would be absolutely Legit.
My favourite scene was probably the one where Noah was recounting the creation of the world in 7 days using each day as a metaphor for different stages of time and evolution. I am sick of people saying that evolution disproves religion so I was happy to see them both get along for this movie.
Also the rock monsters protecting the arc from the evil people was also pretty awesome!
Also the rock monsters protecting the arc from the evil people was also pretty awesome!
Really intrigued by this movie... Also, you're going to talk about the new TMNT trailer on MONDAY? What, has The Big Picture moved to Mondays now? Also, yeah, new Green Goblin looks stupid, but then again, Sam Raimi's Green Goblin kind of looked ridiculous as well... though then it was more acceptable, given the campy nature of his movies.