Eurovision Song Contest qualifiers

Mangod

Senior Member
Feb 20, 2011
829
0
21
So, I'm not certain about the rest of europe, but in Sweden we're currently holding the Melodifestivalen contest to decide which poor schlub that's going to be sent to Denmark to represent us in the Eurovision Song Contest...

... and this years competition is, no joke, no hyperbole, no exaggeration, the worst contest so far that I can remember ever having seen. The jokes are tame, the songs are forgettable, the announcers/program leaders have no material to work with... it's just sad to watch this year.

Maybe it's because we've run out of ideas for fresh material (though I maintain that most Swedish songwriters who produce for the ESC haven't had an original idea since Magnus Ladulås locked his last barn), but I'm still shocked at how bad it has been thus far. Is anyone else in Europe (or the rest of the world, if for some reason you're watching the qualifiers) having the same feelings about their countrys qualifiers? Do you even have any?
 

Muspelheim

New member
Apr 7, 2011
2,023
0
0
Yes, the entires so far has been rather... Forgettable, haven't they?

Furthermore, we did not send Emperor Banana when we had the chance. His song at least caught the spirit of the whole thing; silly, bright and chipper. It'd been a proper hit on the continent, but we were too snobby to give it a go.

<youtube=wgtcha9yLeA>

Imagine, what could have been. We deserve nothing...

Although, we are likely to be sending what is essentially a real life anime character this year. As an admirer of surrealism, that pleases me. Quite a lot. I can't wait to see the Continentals recoil in horror.
 

Queen Michael

has read 4,010 manga books
Jun 9, 2009
10,400
0
0
I think that we Swedes are the only country to spread the entire thing out over a month (or however long the darn thing takes). The other countries have a one-night contest and that's it.
 

DanielBrown

Dangerzone!
Dec 3, 2010
3,838
0
0
I'm from Sweden as well and I've been boycotting the damn thing since the brought in the "second chance" bullshit and clearly prolonged the contest just to get as many votes(and moneyz!) as possible, so luckily I hardly know anything about the contenders this year.
 

Nimcha

New member
Dec 6, 2010
2,383
0
0
My country has decided to send the most inoffensive middle of the road poppy crap that won't get anywhere, like pretty much every year. Oh well.
 

Eamar

Elite Member
Feb 22, 2012
1,320
5
43
Country
UK
Gender
Female
In the UK, Eurovision's been a complete joke for years. As in, our commentator Terry Wogan, used to just blatantly take the piss out of the whole thing, talking over the songs, all that sort of thing. Apparently he was quite notorious among the other Eurovision commentators/presenters for it. It was pretty fun to watch, but he retired from it a few years ago, sadly.

I'm pretty sure most Brits aren't even aware of when the selection process is going on. We don't really have any Eurovision allies to vote for us, so we'll never do very well and as a result most Brits don't care about who represents us. Apart from that one time where we actually got zero points. That was embarrassing.
 

Loop Stricken

Covered in bees!
Jun 17, 2009
4,723
0
0
I have literally no idea who the UK will be sending, but I'm almost certain it won't be anyone good.
 

Mangod

Senior Member
Feb 20, 2011
829
0
21
Queen Michael said:
I think that we Swedes are the only country to spread the entire thing out over a month (or however long the darn thing takes). The other countries have a one-night contest and that's it.
En och en halv månad, andra chansen inräknat/month-and-a-half, second chance included.

Eamar said:
In the UK, Eurovision's been a complete joke for years. As in, our commentator Terry Wogan, used to just blatantly take the piss out of the whole thing, talking over the songs, all that sort of thing. Apparently he was quite notorious among the other Eurovision commentators/presenters for it. It was pretty fun to watch, but he retired from it a few years ago, sadly.

I'm pretty sure most Brits aren't even aware of when the selection process is going on. We don't really have any Eurovision allies to vote for us, so we'll never do very well and as a result most Brits don't care about who represents us. Apart from that one time where we actually got zero points. That was embarrassing.
Loop Stricken said:
I have literally no idea who the UK will be sending, but I'm almost certain it won't be anyone good.
Well, considering you got less points than Jedward twice in a row (2011/2012), I don't think anyone would blame you for just giving up ;)
 

A'tuin

New member
May 6, 2013
54
0
0
Thread about Eurovision: second comment is about Finland winning. My life is complete.

(For those who don't know, it's a common joke how Finland has pretty much the worst score if we even make it to finals, Lordi was the first and probably the last winner we've ever had)
 

Fraught

New member
Aug 2, 2008
4,418
0
0
wombat_of_war said:
While my country isnt in it (australia) eurovision tends to be pretty forgettable as a rule with fluff songs, unless you want to be finland and scare the crap out of them to make them award you victory with lordi from a few years back
I live in Finland and I reject the notion that we did it just to scare everyone. >:c

Also, there are a few untraditional un-Eurovision songs at Eurovision sometimes. One of my favourite Eurovision songs was Norway's song in uhh...2005, I think? (Wigwam's "In My Dreams".)

Oh and uhh...I don't possess a single shred of a fuck to give regarding Eurovision. I used to years ago, but even then, to a very limited degree. Nowadays I've lost any and all interest for it. In fact, I had no idea they were even having the qualifiers right now.

I guess it'd be cool if we won, though.
 

RoonMian

New member
Mar 5, 2011
524
0
0
Muspelheim said:
Yes, the entires so far has been rather... Forgettable, haven't they?

Furthermore, we did not send Emperor Banana when we had the chance. His song at least caught the spirit of the whole thing; silly, bright and chipper. It'd been a proper hit on the continent, but we were too snobby to give it a go.

<youtube=wgtcha9yLeA>

Imagine, what could have been. We deserve nothing...

Although, we are likely to be sending what is essentially a real life anime character this year. As an admirer of surrealism, that pleases me. Quite a lot. I can't wait to see the Continentals recoil in horror.
That's how Stephan Raab, most popular showmaster in Germany, used to do it:


These days it's just bland.
 

anthony87

New member
Aug 13, 2009
3,727
0
0
Really doubt that my country takes the Eurovision seriously anymore. Our contestant a few years back? A puppet.

A fantastic puppet all the same but still a puppet.
 

McElroy

Elite Member
Legacy
Apr 3, 2013
4,573
371
88
Finland
Queen Michael said:
I think that we Swedes are the only country to spread the entire thing out over a month (or however long the darn thing takes). The other countries have a one-night contest and that's it.
Melodifestivalen takes a whole month? Well, so does UMK [http://sv.wikipedia.org/wiki/T%C3%A4vlingen_f%C3%B6r_ny_musik] (link to Swedish Wikipedia, for all of you Swedes out there). Didn't really follow it myself. I listened to the songs - the winner was decent but bland.

Eurovision is a joke, for fun. Political voting sucks, but the best songs usually fill the top spots nevertheless.
 

Muspelheim

New member
Apr 7, 2011
2,023
0
0
Mangod said:
Queen Michael said:
I think that we Swedes are the only country to spread the entire thing out over a month (or however long the darn thing takes). The other countries have a one-night contest and that's it.
En och en halv månad, andra chansen inräknat/month-and-a-half, second chance included.
Åh, gud, nej... Löpsedlarna lär väl driva mig till vansinne på en vecka.

RoonMian said:
That's how Stephan Raab, most popular showmaster in Germany, used to do it:


These days it's just bland.
Very true. I must say, I've always felt the Germans have the best idea of what spirit it should be in.

I'm not sure if Dschinghis Khan was an Eurovision act from the beginning, but it'd be a fantastic one if they were. The chance of a revival is... Terribly slim, unfortunately, but it'd be enough to get me watching, that's for sure.

anthony87 said:
Really doubt that my country takes the Eurovision seriously anymore. Our contestant a few years back? A puppet.

A fantastic puppet all the same but still a puppet.
That's an idea, though. Perhaps the Yankees could join in one year, with Team America? It'd be lovely!

http://www.hark.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2013/01/team-america-world-police-1.jpg

"A vote for us is a vote for Freedom!!"

(Really, it would be absolutely hilarious, it'd be very very welcome!)
 

Beliyal

Big Stupid Jellyfish
Jun 7, 2010
503
0
0
My country (Croatia) got so bad at Eurovision in the last few years that we're not even going to participate this year. I can't say I feel sad about it; it's better than continuously embarrassing ourselves. Last year we didn't even have a national contest where viewers can vote, someone just picked a song and they went with it. Needless to say, we didn't even pass the first qualification.

Try to take that in; our songs are so bad, they're not even for Eurovision. Still, despite the overall cheesiness of the show, I'll probably watch the contest. It's kind of a guilty pleasure.
 

Mangod

Senior Member
Feb 20, 2011
829
0
21
anthony87 said:
Really doubt that my country takes the Eurovision seriously anymore. Our contestant a few years back? A puppet.

A fantastic puppet all the same but still a puppet.
Dustin the Turkey, right? Wasn't that one of the only songs to actually get booed? (The ESC has really low standards, so it'd have to be pretty bad for that to happen)
 

Yopaz

Sarcastic overlord
Jun 3, 2009
6,092
0
0
Me55enger said:
In the UK, Eurovision is where we send old established artists to die.
We do usually consider participating in it to be career killing here too and for the most part it's true.'

OT: Honestly I don't know what's going on with that thing at all, I'm not sure if we have started, if we're participating, what country won the last time or any of the songs that have been there the last couple of years. At some point you just realize that it's bad every year.
 

Spaghetti

Goes Well With Pesto
Sep 2, 2009
1,658
0
0
Me55enger said:
In the UK, Eurovision is where we send old established artists to die.
That or hinting to the rest of Europe that we hate them by forcing them to listen to the musical equivalent of a war crime

I actually rather enjoy Eurovision. It gives me an annual outlet for any excess Sarcasm and snark.