Even Gordon Freeman Can't Fix This

Feb 13, 2008
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Even Gordon Freeman Can't Fix This


Official investigations estimate the cost to repair the Large Hadron Collider to be in the neighborhood of $14m.

After one ton of helium gas was released accidentally, damaging the electromagnets, there have been calls for an early warning alarm to be put in place. The official investigation showed that an electrical fault in one of the superconductors allowed the release. Better gas pressure valves have been designated as a priority.

This isn't the first problem to hit the LHC, perhaps the world's greatest generator of 'Day Of Reckoning' forecasts from the more 'eccentric' areas of the internet.

Even before the official 'launch' day, there was a short glitch in the system that was solved by just turning it off and on again [http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=QpmLrz_lSuE].

Even the great scientists are split over what will happen, with Dr. Stephen Hawking and Professor Higgs [http://www.telegraph.co.uk/scienceandtechnology/science/sciencetopics/largehadroncollider/3351602/Large-Hadron-Collider-%27God-particle%27-theorist-Peter-Higgs-attacks-Stephen-Hawking.html] almost coming to blows.

Official estimates are that the LHC will be out of action until June 2009 at the earliest, but the possibility of a resonance cascade scenario is still pretty unlikely.

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Somethingfake

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Oct 22, 2008
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" Dr. Stephen Hawking and Professor Higgs almost coming to blows."? Some how I doubt that The good doctor could throw the first (or any) punch at all.
 

NeedAUserName

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Aug 7, 2008
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Somethingfake said:
" Dr. Stephen Hawking and Professor Higgs almost coming to blows."? Some how I doubt that The good doctor could throw the first (or any) punch at all.
I dunno, but it would be a good fight.
 

xitel

Assume That I Hate You.
Aug 13, 2008
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The_root_of_all_evil said:
Even before the official 'launch' day, there was a short glitch in the system that was solved by just turning it off and on again [http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=QpmLrz_lSuE].
Wait, really? They fixed it by rebooting? Did they have to call tech support to figure that one out?
 

ZeroMachine

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Oct 11, 2008
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The_root_of_all_evil said:
Even before the official 'launch' day, there was a short glitch in the system that was solved by just turning it off and on again [http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=QpmLrz_lSuE].
They had a problem with there modem? =P

Anyways, it's just putting off the inevitable apocolypse... Ok, don't actually believe that, but wouldn't it be ironic if it had a fatal malfunction in 2012? All us naysayers would have a hell of a day explaining that one, huh? XD
 

Crunchy English

Victim of a Savage Neck-bearding
Aug 20, 2008
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the LHC might destroy the world, but somehow that seems awfully exciting. Speaking of which, hilarious reboots and helium gas explosions aside, have we actually learned anything from this monstrosity? Listening the roaring masses of the interweb, you'd think this thing was built specifically to blow us all up.
 

Danny Ocean

Master Archivist
Jun 28, 2008
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xitel said:
The_root_of_all_evil said:
Even before the official 'launch' day, there was a short glitch in the system that was solved by just turning it off and on again [http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=QpmLrz_lSuE].
Wait, really? They fixed it by rebooting? Did they have to call tech support to figure that one out?
You kidding? The bill was Four Hundred Fucking Euros. Damn international calls.

ZeroMachine said:
Anyways, it's just putting off the inevitable apocolypse... Ok, don't actually believe that, but wouldn't it be ironic if it had a fatal malfunction in 2012? All us naysayers would have a hell of a day explaining that one, huh? XD
Well... No.

Has no-one noticed the headcrab to the right of the picture?
 

LewsTherin

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Jun 22, 2008
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So...no headcrabs? After I took all that rouble to pick up a crowbar and painstakingly paint it just the right shade of orange...

Congrats on the yellow letters Root.
 

xitel

Assume That I Hate You.
Aug 13, 2008
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Danny Ocean said:
xitel said:
The_root_of_all_evil said:
Even before the official 'launch' day, there was a short glitch in the system that was solved by just turning it off and on again [http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=QpmLrz_lSuE].
Wait, really? They fixed it by rebooting? Did they have to call tech support to figure that one out?
You kidding? The bill was Four Hundred Fucking Euros. Damn international calls.
I wonder if they checked to make sure it was on and plugged in first.
 

stompy

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Jan 21, 2008
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xitel said:
I wonder if they checked to make sure it was on and plugged in first.
They're scientists... of course not, they'll try and fix the most complicated problem first ;)
 

Birras

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Jun 19, 2008
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Thank you God for the fact that helium has the ability to disable doomsday decives. Let us pray that on CERN's bring your daughter to work day (it's the perfect time to have her tested), that they hire a metric fuckload of clowns that each bring their own tank of helium.
 

TsunamiWombat

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Sep 6, 2008
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Danny Ocean said:
xitel said:
The_root_of_all_evil said:
Even before the official 'launch' day, there was a short glitch in the system that was solved by just turning it off and on again [http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=QpmLrz_lSuE].
Wait, really? They fixed it by rebooting? Did they have to call tech support to figure that one out?
You kidding? The bill was Four Hundred Fucking Euros. Damn international calls.

ZeroMachine said:
Anyways, it's just putting off the inevitable apocolypse... Ok, don't actually believe that, but wouldn't it be ironic if it had a fatal malfunction in 2012? All us naysayers would have a hell of a day explaining that one, huh? XD
Well... No.

Has no-one noticed the headcrab to the right of the picture?
Yeah, a web blog sent the Gordon Freeman Look Alike a "world saving kit" complete with a crowbar, helmet, and a half-life strategy guide. The scientists got a kick out of it and did some photo's of "Gordon" with the gear. The Escapist had a story on it...somewhere.

Better gas pressure valves have been designated as a priority.
This is starting to get hysterical. a VALVE took out the LHC?
 

Limos

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Jun 15, 2008
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Wow, apparently the guys at the LHC are as big of dorks as we are.

I've gotta say, that is the best picture ever. I'm pretty some website even sent them that Crowbar. I saw the thread about it a while back.
 

Dectilon

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Sep 20, 2007
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It's too bad it's not like in games where you can fix anything in five seconds by wiggling your arms in front of it for a few seconds.

Since the same process they hope to copy happens constantly in the earth's atmosphere (and at even higher speeds) I'd say we're pretty safe...

A fatal failure would cost a shitload of cash though :/
 

Nimbus

Token Irish Guy
Oct 22, 2008
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Birras said:
Thank you God for the fact that helium has the ability to disable doomsday decives. Let us pray that on CERN's bring your daughter to work day (it's the perfect time to have her tested), that they hire a metric fuckload of clowns that each bring their own tank of helium.
I can't tell whether this is scaremongering or sarcasm.
 

mokes310

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Oct 13, 2008
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Somethingfake said:
" Dr. Stephen Hawking and Professor Higgs almost coming to blows."? Some how I doubt that The good doctor could throw the first (or any) punch at all.
You just had to go there, didn't you??? j/k...I'm sure Dr. Hawking could throw down some vicious insults though!