Every Game Ever

Xan Krieger

Completely insane
Feb 11, 2009
2,918
0
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I guess I kinda feel left out of this one because I play mostly strategy games like the Total War series where the big bad thing ends up being you as you conquer, rape, and pillage every last square mile of land.
 

k-ossuburb

New member
Jul 31, 2009
1,312
0
0
Holy shit, the [evil thing] is Mantorok from Eternal Darkness! I love that game, it didn't have any love interests (besides the Karim bit, maybe, but she was incidental and technically wasn't captured) but it did pretty much play out this way.
 

hazydawn

New member
Jan 11, 2013
237
0
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Awww that's exagerrating way too much. Some people argue that everything whe produce today is not original and based on already existing things but I don't believe that... and why must original mean starting from zero with no reference to already existing things anyway? It's true that most stories show story archetypes or a combination of those. But you're making it look like there's only one of these archetypes. The headline should have been like... I dunno... 70% of games ever. It just doesn't feel as funny to me with this much exaggeration. Yeah I know exaggeration is commonly used to create a humerous effects, but I think you can go overboard with it.
 

Rad Party God

Party like it's 2010!
Feb 23, 2010
3,560
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Dead Space 3 fits these tropes pretty nicely, almost word for word, seriously, how come someone with a little common sense could wear such cleavage in the middle of a necromorph infestation?, especially after explicitly having experienced one before and barely making it out alive the last time and knowing ahead she WILL be working on a planet full of them. But dat cleavage...
 

Rad Party God

Party like it's 2010!
Feb 23, 2010
3,560
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k-ossuburb said:
Holy shit, the [evil thing] is Mantorok from Eternal Darkness! I love that game, it didn't have any love interests (besides the Karim bit, maybe, but she was incidental and technically wasn't captured) but it did pretty much play out this way.
Well, Mantorok was pretty much dead since the beginning, almost like a zombie giant octopus, but he definitely conspired against the other [evil things] and he's technically not an [evil thing], just a lesser [evil thing].
 

k-ossuburb

New member
Jul 31, 2009
1,312
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0
SupahGamuh said:
k-ossuburb said:
Holy shit, the [evil thing] is Mantorok from Eternal Darkness! I love that game, it didn't have any love interests (besides the Karim bit, maybe, but she was incidental and technically wasn't captured) but it did pretty much play out this way.
Well, Mantorok was pretty much dead since the beginning, almost like a zombie giant octopus, but he definitely conspired against the other [evil things] and he's technically not an [evil thing], just a lesser [evil thing].
If you got the "true" ending you'll find out that Mantorok is the most [evil thing] of all the [evil thing]s in that game because
it's revealed at the end that he was manipulating everything so that every time you replayed the game to defeat the alternate gods who's story you didn't play the first time you were actually playing an alternate universe version of what happened at the same time as when you first started playing, meaning that in every parallel timeline they all killed each other and therefore cancel each other out. He simply combined all the timelines together and took over because, without them, he was able to reach his full power and bring on the Eternal Darkness that everyone was hinting at throughout the game (or at least that;s what was hinted at, to bad there wasn't a sequel, but I'm also kind of glad of it).

 

Rad Party God

Party like it's 2010!
Feb 23, 2010
3,560
0
0
k-ossuburb said:
SupahGamuh said:
k-ossuburb said:
Holy shit, the [evil thing] is Mantorok from Eternal Darkness! I love that game, it didn't have any love interests (besides the Karim bit, maybe, but she was incidental and technically wasn't captured) but it did pretty much play out this way.
Well, Mantorok was pretty much dead since the beginning, almost like a zombie giant octopus, but he definitely conspired against the other [evil things] and he's technically not an [evil thing], just a lesser [evil thing].
If you got the "true" ending you'll find out that Mantorok is the most [evil thing] of all the [evil thing]s in that game because
it's revealed at the end that he was manipulating everything so that every time you replayed the game to defeat the alternate gods who's story you didn't play the first time you were actually playing an alternate universe version of what happened at the same time as when you first started playing, meaning that in every parallel timeline they all killed each other and therefore cancel each other out. He simply combined all the timelines together and took over because, without them, he was able to reach his full power and bring on the Eternal Darkness that everyone was hinting at throughout the game (or at least that;s what was hinted at, to bad there wasn't a sequel, but I'm also kind of glad of it).

Ohhhh... then I understood it wrong all these years. Granted, it's been a LOOONG time since the last time I played Eternal Darkness, I got the 4th ending and I understood that:

He manipulated everything from the shadows and I understood that he tricked the other gods into killing each other, but I didn't know he did that to take over, I though he did that so that he could exact revenge from what they did to him, so that he could die knowing he exacted revenge into them.

So yeah, that adds another layer into it's already awesome layer heavy and complex story of Eternal Darkness.
 

LazyAza

New member
May 28, 2008
716
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0
Ironically this is so silly I'd actually play it. haha Oh if only more games were self away of industry cliches, so much comedy could be had.
 

The Rogue Wolf

Stealthy Carnivore
Legacy
Apr 3, 2020
12,413
2,280
118
Stalking the Digital Tundra
Gender
✅
Bonus points for making the protagonist a generic-looking, white, brown-haired military guy who is apparently incapable of forming any facial expression other than a scowl.

I mean, hell, say what you will about Duke Nukem- at least he can smile.
 

Ulquiorra4sama

Saviour In the Clockwork
Feb 2, 2010
1,786
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But really, when was the last time someone hung the love interest over a tub of acid?

Well if anything it's at least a story that's easy to follow.
 

Kaymish

The Morally Bankrupt Weasel
Sep 10, 2008
1,256
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i liked [SUPPORT CHARACTER/LOVE INTEREST] dress was weird she was falling out of it at then end and gees spoiler alert is suppose to go at the START of the comic/post/thread/video
 

Vault101

I'm in your mind fuzz
Sep 26, 2010
18,847
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Zachary Amaranth said:
ITT: people who do not understand hyperbole or comedy.

Though it seems there's an at least 80% chance that the people who miss hyperbole will then attempt their own.
please explain the joke because I dont get it
 

Tiger Sora

New member
Aug 23, 2008
2,220
0
0
Ohh no, the fumes are making her breasts bigger said no straight man ever.

Now I must go beat some unimaginative bosses in wow.
 

Darth_Payn

New member
Aug 5, 2009
2,868
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I don't believe this is like every game ever; it's too colorful. Nothings washed out to look gray/brown!
nice job on [support character/love interest]'s funbags, though.
 

IamLEAM1983

Neloth's got swag.
Aug 22, 2011
2,581
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I'd mention that lately, the Formulaic Game Recipe has started to include Aesops. Like "Transhumanism makes us question our nature as humans" (Deus Ex: Human Revolution) or "Humans will do cray-cray stuff to other humans in the name of survival. Innit deep?" (FarCry 3).

Or you could go CryTek's route and not bother. "It's the Ceph's fault. Whatever it is, no matter if it makes sense or not, it's the Ceph's fault and the Nanosuit's involved. Also, boo, PMC's and global megacorps!"