Every kid in the US has to take a test made by you

Jodah

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Aug 2, 2008
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Mortai Gravesend said:
Hmm let's see...

1) Is Creationism a valid theory? (Instant fail if they say yes)
...

Actually now that I think about it such a test wouldn't be too fun to construct. D=

Maybe I could just throw in: "What can change the nature of a man?" and leave it at that.
Actually there is a specific Creationist theory that is semi-valid. The Futurama episode actually made it perfectly. I think of it as the petrie dish theory. Some higher power made life then evolution took over. IE The Universe is just an experiment in the laboratory of God! Not saying I personally believe it but I've yet to see anything to truly shoot any holes in it. In a way it combines the best of both worlds.


My test would be about the US Government and how it works. Examples:

1. What is the first Amendment to the United States Constitution?
2. What are the three branches of Government?
3. What group introduces bills to become law?

It is stuff I learned in 5th grade but most people don't understand as adults...

It is given yearly. Until you pass you must go to school. Pass and you go on to be a successful, productive member of society. Fail three years in a row and you are publicly executed.
 

Trippy Turtle

Elite Member
May 10, 2010
2,119
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1: Is Trippy Turtle a cool guy? (98 marks)
2: Want to add me on xbox? (1 mark)
3: Math. T/F (1 mark)
 

That_Sneaky_Camper

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Aug 19, 2011
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I would test them on memes, where they came from and what meaning they have. I'll also add an extra credit question where they have to define what a meme is and if they answer correctly their score will be OVER 9000!!!
 

GeneWard

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Feb 23, 2011
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1) What does Marcellus Wallace look like? (1 mark)
2) They speak English in What? (2 marks)
3) Looks like we caught you boys at breakfast. Whatcha' havin'? (97 marks. The answer of course being "Big Kahuna burgers and Sprite.")
 

GodofDisaster

Premium member
Sep 10, 2009
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I'll make the questions all about me.

1.What is my middle name.

2.What did I have for breakfast this morning.

3.Exactly how many items are in my bedroom this includes clothes, books figures, games and dvds. (Not even I know this one, unless I do count everything.)

4.I'm currently playing Pokemon Heartgold write out the names of the 6 Pokemon I'm using starting in the order I caught them. Also write out their current levels, move sets, gender, nature and the date and time that they evolved into their final forms.

5.Final question. I bring a complete stranger into the classroom with a really obscure name. The class has to guess what that name is, they get one try if they fail they cannot go into any form of higher education ever and have to work at a burger van for the rest of their lives.
 

Floggo

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Mar 30, 2010
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1)Which philosopher created the Categorical Imperative? and why? (100 points)
 

ChildishLegacy

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Apr 16, 2010
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1) Describe Communism
2) Describe Socialism
3) Describe Capitalism
4) Describe Nationalism
5) Describe Fascism
6) Put them all on a scale from left to right wing

Estimated about 10% of people getting it anywhere near right.
 

ZehMadScientist

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Oct 29, 2010
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1. Name the members of the Beatles.
2. What was the cause of Freddy Mercury´s death?
3. What book was BioShock inspired by, and who was its author?

...and more questions like these.

Spartan448 said:
Question 1: What is your name?
Question 2: What is your favorite color?
Question 3: What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

If you pass, you move up a grade and take the test again. If you fail, you die.
1. Shane van Beveren
2. Red... NO BLU-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH
 

milna64

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May 6, 2009
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Midgeamoo said:
1) Describe Communism
2) Describe Socialism
3) Describe Capitalism
4) Describe Nationalism
5) Describe Fascism
6) Put them all on a scale from left to right wing

Estimated about 10% of people getting it anywhere near right.
1) Communism is like, sharing all your shit with other people 'n' thaa.
2) Socialism is like, another word for Communism used by people to sound all intellectual. Right?
3) Captialism is the one we do. It's got something to do with money and everyone tries to have as much as possible.
4) Nationalism must have something to do with liking your own country? And you kill everyone else.
5) Fascism is the same as Nationalism except you only kill Jews and Homosexuals.
6) Pretty sure they are organised from left to right.

This is, roughly speaking, what I actually think the political systems are. Would anyone care to enlighten me?

As far as I know I am a Marxist, because I think Christopher Hitchens said he was one once and I liked him.
 

Astoria

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Oct 25, 2010
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1) Spell America (if they can't spell it then something is seriously wrong with the system).
2) On a map locate Iraq (I saw somewhere that something like 50% of students asked this pointed to Australia).
3) Name a world leader other than the president (they should know at least one).
4)What is the best Star Wars movie (it's episode V and everyone should know that!).

Either that or this

Spartan448 said:
Question 1: What is your name?
Question 2: What is your favorite color?
Question 3: What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?
 

TheEnglishman

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Jun 13, 2009
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1) Government laws should be made on the assumption that there is no God. Discuss.

2) This is a map, highlight the countries USA, China, South Africa, Sweden, Peru.

3) Define the word Liberal. Define the word Conservative.

4) Why do you know the things you know and act the way you are?

5) Write a 1,000 word essay on why Stephen Fry is the pinnacle of all human achievements and the model on which we must all base our lives.

6) Would you rather burn down the Louvre and Wipe your ass with the Mona Lisa, or Go Back to College and Discover the Life Outside your apartment?

7) What was I referencing in the previous question? (Note: If you fail to answer this question correctly, you will be made to watch/ read/ listen to/ eat what was being referenced)

8) Superman vs Batman. Describe the ensuing battle.

9) Crapulous?

10) What now?
 

El Poncho

Techno Hippy will eat your soul!
May 21, 2009
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Well do they get to study for this test? If they do then it would be a test about questioning everything anyone says or does, I feel we'd be in a better society people were able to tell if their leaders are speaking bullshit.
 

That's Funny

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Jul 20, 2009
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1) What it is this that I'm holding in my hand?
2) What is the thing you like?
3) Do you have a horse?
 

RHadley

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Dec 5, 2010
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A series of logic puzzles, general knowledge, spelling, Maths (In England we add an 's' on the end), science, and philosophical questions, interspersed with:

1)Explain why America did not win the Battle of Britain.
2)Explain America's founding in relation to British history.
3)Define "******".
4)Explain how America have not won every war they take part in.

This test would take place (in variation) ever year, and failure to get the above questions correct will result in confiscation of games console and a required re-sit.
 

Tom Artingstall

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Sep 23, 2011
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The students would be let loose on an internet chatroom for an hour. Their activities are carefully monitored by the examiners. Marks are awarded for spelling, punctuation and grammar. Marks are deducted for use of any variation of the words "fag", "noob", and any racist/sexist puns.
 

The Funslinger

Corporate Splooge
Sep 12, 2010
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ectoplasmicz said:
Dango said:
1. What's the best animal in the world?

If they say starfish, they're right.
Freaky. I didnt think i'd be ninja'd on something this specific XD

Difference is, my answer would be Dolphin :p (half mark if answer is ocelot)
Nah, man. Wolves all the way!



OT: Basically a test highlighting how awful the chav and scene subcultures are, and then questions to find out whether you are unintentionally chav or scene. A lot of people are in denial about it, and yet fit right in. Particularly with chavs.
 

The Funslinger

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Sep 12, 2010
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RHadley said:
A series of logic puzzles, general knowledge, spelling, Maths (In England we add an 's' on the end), science, and philosophical questions, interspersed with:

1)Explain why America did not win the Battle of Britain.
2)Explain America's founding in relation to British history.
3)Define "******".
4)Explain how America have not won every war they take part in.

This test would take place (in variation) ever year, and failure to get the above questions correct will result in confiscation of games console and a required re-sit.
To the contrary, America has never won a war on its own. Barring the American Civil War, which was technically win-win.
 

Al-Bundy-da-G

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Apr 11, 2011
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1: Basic Math

2: Read War & Peace in latin.

3: Describe the laws of quantum physics.

4: How many molecules are in one teaspoon of grape jelly?

5: Why are your answers irrelevant? (A: I have a rocket launcher, whoever passes the test has to catch the explody bit)