Every kid in the US has to take a test made by you

[Daverson]

The student is locked in a room with a live bull, which the invigilators have been tormenting with electric prods for the last six weeks. If the student is able to subdue the bull, and take his horns, he will be considered graduated. They will be taken to the forge, and shall smith a horned mask under the watchful eye of the grandmaster of the forge. This mask shall be grafted over the graduates face, where it shall remain for the rest of their lives, as a sign of honour. Upon their death, it shall be removed, and placed atop a gilded pedestal in the great necropolis.

Alternatively:
Jean is shorter than Brutus but taller than Imhotep. Imhotep is taller than Jean, but shorter than Lord Scotland. Lord Scotland is twice the height of Jean and Brutus combined but only one-tenth of the height of Millsy. Millsy is at a constant height of x - y. If Jean stands exactly one nautical mile away from Lord Scotland, how tall is Imhotep?

 

[Rule Britannia]

Everyone has to beat portal 1 and 2 without help from the internet

 

[Wackymon]

They must do a test about ponies.
Not entirely sure how many would succed or how many would fail.


Either ponies, or the internet.

 

[Dopi]

My test would be designed to aggravate, annoy, and in any other kind of means piss the kids off. If they didn't get pissed off, they'd fail. Why would I do so? I kinda like annoying people. If the test doesn't do it, the flunking surely will!! *evil laugh*

 

[Stravant]

1) Beat Battletoads
2) Beat Portal 1 and 2 (No help from anyone or internet walkthroughs)
3) Create a well-reasoned argument at least 3 paragraphs long stating why BF3 is better than MW3, or vice versa (Sales figures cannot be used as a reason)
4) Did the USA liberate Europe during WWII? (If they answer yes they will be sterilized)

 

[chadachada123]

A spelling test. If you pass, you get a pass for the internet. You have to re-take the test every year to renew this pass and it gets taken away if you get so many strikes, kinda like a driving license.

I'm a genious me.

This plus the logical fallacy test. Not only a pass for the internet, though, but a pass to vote. Also applies for adults, too, since they're just as childish as children these days.

(And I'd throw in creationism and global warming questions, just to be a jerk/for the advancement of humanity).

 

[Warforger]

1. What's the best animal in the world?

If they say starfish, they're right.

TRICK QUESTION!

A starfish isn't an animal, is it?

It is. They're just really really really slow. They mostly eat clams by catching them with their arms then opening them up and emptying their stomach into them to digest it then eat the remains.

 

[him over there]

A spelling test. If you pass, you get a pass for the internet. You have to re-take the test every year to renew this pass and it gets taken away if you get so many strikes, kinda like a driving license.

I'm a genious me.

I debated about pointing out the irony for a while now and I think it would be best if I did.

 

[Philol]

Question: Who is the rightful ruler of the world

Answer: ME, anyone kid who gets this answer wrong...will be dealt with!

 

[Alssadar]

-snip about Logical fallacies and such-

Wow. I just covered all of this in AP English. I think I might win this.

OT: My quiz would go along this
1. Yes or No? (Answers would be Yes, No, or Maybe; answer is randomized)
2. 1+1 = ? (No answer would be 2)
3. Why because after toolshed before preposition without octopus pineapple?
4. Write an argumentative essay about who would win in a fight: Yourself or Batman
6. There is no question 5? (All available answers are blank)
7. What is the average rainfall in the Amazon Rainforest basin?
8. Is this the correct answer? (Yes, No, or Maybe)
9. Write an essay regarding a normal day in your life if you were either one of the following: zombie, mutant, jelly blob, invisible or a viking.
10. Copy and give this essay to 15,000,000,000,000 other people in the next two seconds of reading this question or you will die. (It's funny, as it is not a question)
11. I am batman. (Yes but my parents are alive, Yes-my parents are dead, or No)
12. Explode somebody in the room's head into confetti.

And that will be on 15 pages, as the type will be really big and have weird spacing.
Captcha: rdsuppo results. <- will be the name of the quiz

 

[Devil's Due]

1) Fus...

a) Ro
b) Dah
c) Both a and b

2) Kirk or Picard?

a) Kirk
b) Data
c) Picard

3) Which Star Wars Trilogy is the best?

a) I-III
b) IV-VI
c) II, IV, & V

4) Patrolling the Mojave...

a) ... almost makes you wish for a nuclear winter.
b) ... until I took an arrow into the knee.
c) ... is fun.

5) What time is it?

a) Hammer time.
b) Game time.
c) Time for some calibrations, Shepard.

6) Who is indisputably the most important person in Vault 101: He who shelters us from the harshness of the atomic wasteland, and to whom we owe everything we have, including our lives?

a) The Overseer
b) The Overseer
c) The Overseer

Spoiler: Answers

1 C
2 B
3 B or C
4 A
5 A or C
6 B

If you managed a 75% or above, congratulations! You are now ready for the real world. Good luck!

 

[snow]

Everyone has to beat portal 1 and 2 without help from the internet

Easiest test ever! But then again I'm not sure what age group the OP's looking for in which we're aiming these tests..


Mine?

1) Who is your daddy?

2) And what does he do?


((Quite honestly surprised I didn't see this in the forums already))

 

[Secret world leader (shhh)]

The student is locked in a room with a live bull, which the invigilators have been tormenting with electric prods for the last six weeks. If the student is able to subdue the bull, and take his horns, he will be considered graduated. They will be taken to the forge, and shall smith a horned mask under the watchful eye of the grandmaster of the forge. This mask shall be grafted over the graduates face, where it shall remain for the rest of their lives, as a sign of honour. Upon their death, it shall be removed, and placed atop a gilded pedestal in the great necropolis.

Alternatively:
Jean is shorter than Brutus but taller than Imhotep. Imhotep is taller than Jean, but shorter than Lord Scotland. Lord Scotland is twice the height of Jean and Brutus combined but only one-tenth of the height of Millsy. Millsy is at a constant height of x - y. If Jean stands exactly one nautical mile away from Lord Scotland, how tall is Imhotep?

Imhotep is invisible

OT:
1) Point to your country on this map (get this question wrong and you are shot)
2) Who is the best James Bond?
3) How many Jews does it take to change a lightbulb?
4) Which race is the best?
5) On a scale of 1-10, 1 being "I would" and 10 being "I WANT YOU INSIDE ME!!!", how sexy is the president of education?

Spoiler: Answers

1) USA
2) Each James Bond is special in their own way
3) Two. One to change the lightbulb and one to hold the ladder so he doesn't fall and hurt himself
4) The marathon is better from and endurance standpoint and takes more preparation, however in terms of pure speed and strength, the 100m sprint is easily superior
5) Anything over 9 is an acceptable answer

 

[Idlemessiah]

A spelling test. If you pass, you get a pass for the internet. You have to re-take the test every year to renew this pass and it gets taken away if you get so many strikes, kinda like a driving license.

I'm a genious me.

I debated about pointing out the irony for a while now and I think it would be best if I did.

I actually debated for a while whether or not to spell it like that in the first place in case a spelling nazi had a go at me (which one did earlier today).

I find its a very common misspelling on Youtube of all places. Don't tend to see it anywhere else.

 

[Scrustle]

1:what does pie with pie flavor taste like?
2:how is the pen mightier than the sword when actions speak louder than words?
3:who do you blame when the escapist goes down?
4:If you say "fuck you" to a woman is it an insult or an offer?

1: Pie, obviously.
2: Because you can conceal a pen so they don't see the stabbings coming.
3: Anonymous.
4: It's neither. It's clear that the woman would be the fuckee, but it is unclear who is the fucker. So it can't be an offer because we don't know who is making the offer. It can't be an insult because it makes no sense. All that we know is that the woman is getting fucked. Anyone could be doing the fucking. It could be someone who she really wants to be fucked by.

Can't really think of my own questions right now.

 

[Exile714]

1. What's the best animal in the world?

If they say starfish, they're right.

There's no such thing as a "starfish." You're thinking of a Sea Star. Fish have gills, fins, tail... Sea Stars have re-grow body parts and a remote stomach.

Also, the guy who asked if they are animals is kinda dense. If it's living, it's either a Monera, Protista, Fungus, Plant or Animal. If you think a Sea Star is a plant... well, you might as well call it a Starfish...

 

[Bravo 21]

My test will be a combination of Physical aptitude and random questions.
1)Discuss the current financial/political situation of Europe. You have 500 words, so be concise. (writing+political knowledge, 10 points)
2)Force the person sitting opposite you to submit in a non lethal weapons free manner. (pass/fail)
3) Turn the person from question 2's paper into a paper airplane, then throw it so that it stays aloft for at least 2 seconds. (creativity+building skills, 10 points
4) taped to the bottom of each table is a map that leads to the location of x (where x is the number of test takers divided by three) certificates confirming that you have passed the test. (this will test cartography, as well as seeing what they will do in a situation where only 2/3 of the remaining people may pass. 25 points)

The questions will change yearly, just to keep people on their toes.

 

[Wintermoot]

1) can you point your home town on a world map?

2) do you find Chuck Norris/Cake/arrow to the knee jokes funny?

3) do you watch MTV?

4) locate Iraq and Afghanistan on a world map.

5) is Europe a country or a series of united countries?

6) did you ever use the word "haters"

7) can you stand people trolling you?

8) can you handle Criticism?

9) do you spell "alot" or "allot"?

10) do you type in "7331" speak?

11) does he look like a *****?

 

[FalloutJack]

You have just become the official education president of the US. You have been asked to create a test for all the kids in US schools to take. You may put any questions you want on it.

So, what will your questions be? How many kids will pass this test?

Because the process by which I select and put down the numerous questions for the little tykes would require a week of steady planning, I will summarize my thoughts on the matter.

{1} There should be genuine education-related questions pertainent to skills required to function in society, views on history, and an opinion-essay section on what they think about the whole god thing. Not that I'm grading them on the opinion part, but that and the rest of THIS section would tell me how well they can function, if they understand what came before them and how they respond to it, and their theological opinions in life. Why? You could nip alot of problems in the bud here with a social worker, a better teacher, and a psychologist going over the papers and spotting a pattern.

{2} A number of questions based upon problem solving, creativity, moral fiber, and motivation. These aren't multiple choice like most of the last section. This is short-answer essay. I want to know how they'd solve a problem, how efficient or creative the solution is, how decently or indecently they would go about doing it, and why they would do it in that manner. They would be told, right off, that all answers are confidential and that there is no wrong answer. This is a lie. And if they fall for it, then you get their honest opinion on things, to know their real thoughts. This can also eliminate problems, although the really smart ones with bad thoughts will lie to you too, but at least you show them that we're watching you.

{3} Third section, full essay, one question: "What is wrong with your life?". No further explanation. To have any hopes in passing, some account of what the kid thinks is wrong - regardless of where the essay goes - must be given. The main reason is that not enough people understand their children's minds or how they really react to things. Children fool them regularly and secretly despise their world on some level. A good inside word could do wonders for every household in the world nursing a potential domestic disaster.

 

[Wintermoot]

8. In Fallout 3 my character has 67% Damage resistance and 270 HP. A Deathclaw does a leaping power attack at me that normally deals 150 damage. Factoring in my Damage resistance, how much HP do I have left after the attack?

trick question Death Claws negate DT meaning that the Death Claw deals the entire 150 damage (leaving you with 120HP)