Every kid in the US has to take a test made by you

[NerfedFalcon]

It would be a relatively simple logic test - they'd have to identify a range of logical fallacies that are commonly used in arguments. Straw-man, Slippery-slope, False Dilemma, Proof by Association, and so on. It is very important to teach all children how to spot logical fallacies, because politicians love to use them (We must bomb this nation, or we will be unsafe! We must ban this technology, or the world will be destroyed! We can't let X happen because Y will INEVITABLY FOLLOW! My opponent supports Z but did you know, that HITLER once supported Z?)

They would be presented with a collection of 70 logical fallacies, presented in argument form and they must pin-point the fallacy. It would be a simple test of logic - you wouldn't have to know any facts, you'd only have to pay attention to the phrasing of the argument. As long as kids were taught about logical fallacies before the test was undertaken, they'd have no problem passing the test.

This. So much this. This is actually something important that everyone should take. And politicians should have to pass it before they're allowed to run.

Completely without irony.

 

[FoolKiller]

I would test them on memes, where they came from and what meaning they have. I'll also add an extra credit question where they have to define what a meme is and if they answer correctly their score will be OVER 9000!!!

But only 8000 if they're of Japanese descent.

I would ask two questions:

1. What colour is an orange, true or false?
2. Which is shorter, to New York or by bus?

 

[FoolKiller]

1) Penis. Did you laugh?

A. Yes (go back to primary school)
B. No (proceed)

2) Your friend asks you if you want to steal your parents' car, get wasted, and drive around the city on the wrong side of the road.

A. "That sounds epic!" (Just leave. You are a danger to this world and have displayed a complete lack of reason. Also, that's not how you use the word epic.)
B. "You're retarded." (proceed)

3) What is your opinion on the Call of Duty series?

(Answers may vary. If the answer contains the words/phrases "best gaem evar", "worst gaem evar", "gay", or "******", subject will be drafted into the nearest available war. Otherwise they pass.)

Yay. I passed your test. Although my answer was 'ugh' for COD. I'm just sick of hearing about it, good or bad.

 

[SilentCom]

One question: What is the largest living thing on our planet?

If they answer blue whale or elephant they're wrong. The answer is a tree. There are some trees such as the sequoia or hyperion that grow more than 300ft (~90 meters) tall and have a base of more than 40ft (~12 meters).

 

[FoolKiller]

Who are the following people and why are they famous?
Shigeru Miyamoto
Martin O'Donnell
John Williams
Randy Pritchard
Gabe Newell
Akira Yamaoka
Shinji Mikami
Ben Croshaw

While as a gaming site, these people are fairly well known. I wouldn't really call any of them famous even if their creations are. I think many would fail this test. I only know 6 of the 8 and that's because I know who Ben Croshaw is.

 

[Floggo]

1)Which philosopher created the Categorical Imperative? and why? (100 points)

Uh... is it Immanuel Kant?

Only the SMART people will know. Those dickheads who think that 'Swagger' give you bragging rights won't have a clue.

 

[Baneat]

1)Which philosopher created the Categorical Imperative? and why? (100 points)

Uh... is it Immanuel Kant?

Only the SMART people will know. Those dickheads who think that 'Swagger' give you bragging rights won't have a clue.

So I was right, hooray. However, what's it called when your moral system is categorical in nature, kantian, blacks and whites instead of the utilitarian greys?

I forget the word.

 

[Crazy]

1) Who is the sexiest person ever?

2) You know what time it is?

3) Prepare what when I come for a special visit?

5) What happened to question #4?

 

[Floggo]

1)Which philosopher created the Categorical Imperative? and why? (100 points)

Uh... is it Immanuel Kant?

Only the SMART people will know. Those dickheads who think that 'Swagger' give you bragging rights won't have a clue.

So I was right, hooray. However, what's it called when your moral system is categorical in nature, kantian, blacks and whites instead of the utilitarian greys?

I forget the word.

Consequentualism? The ends justifies the means? Or Deontology? Where the consequences don't really matter.

 

[nsqared]

A mix from all my past lifestyles/addictions/randomness thing.
1)Draw a diagram of how a two-stage liquid hydrogen rocket engine works. Label parts.
2)The letter in front of an airplane's name (Ex: F-15 or B-1) means what?
3)Why did they stop making Age of Empires games?
4)Why doesn't my computer work?*
5)"2"+2 =?
6)How many squares of chocolate are there in a regular sized milk-chocolate hershey's bar?
7)U mad bro?

*The only answer would be "because it's not plugged in".

 

[Singularly Datarific]

Actually there is a specific Creationist theory that is semi-valid. The Futurama episode actually made it perfectly. I think of it as the petrie dish theory. Some higher power made life then evolution took over. IE The Universe is just an experiment in the laboratory of God! Not saying I personally believe it but I've yet to see anything to truly shoot any holes in it. In a way it combines the best of both worlds.

Oh ya, I remember that one.
It was kinda weird watching it, as I was thinking "shoot, this could actually work..." Mostly I liked creationists AND evolutionists getting flak for their stupid and annoying arguments.

 

[Shakomaru]

1) Is Gunstar Heroes the greatest game ever created in the history of mankind?
2) Tell the differences between "you're" and "your", "then" and "than", and "there", "their" and "they're".
3) Write in 3 animes you like. (Any answers other than Yu-Gi-Oh Season 0, Neon Genesis Evangelion and Dragon Ball are denied)

Tox, you forgot Ranma 1/2. C'mon.
My test
1. Do you know how to cook? (y/n)30 points
2. What is you r favorite musical and why? 20 points
3. Why? Just Why? 50 points
Extra credit: In Eric Idle's book "The Road to Mars" What is the secret to comedy?

 

[Baneat]

1)Which philosopher created the Categorical Imperative? and why? (100 points)

Uh... is it Immanuel Kant?

Only the SMART people will know. Those dickheads who think that 'Swagger' give you bragging rights won't have a clue.

So I was right, hooray. However, what's it called when your moral system is categorical in nature, kantian, blacks and whites instead of the utilitarian greys?

I forget the word.

Consequentualism? The ends justifies the means? Or Deontology? Where the consequences don't really matter.

That's the one.

 

[Floggo]

1)Which philosopher created the Categorical Imperative? and why? (100 points)

Uh... is it Immanuel Kant?

Only the SMART people will know. Those dickheads who think that 'Swagger' give you bragging rights won't have a clue.

So I was right, hooray. However, what's it called when your moral system is categorical in nature, kantian, blacks and whites instead of the utilitarian greys?

I forget the word.

Consequentualism? The ends justifies the means? Or Deontology? Where the consequences don't really matter.

That's the one.

Which one though? There's two?

 

[Baneat]

1)Which philosopher created the Categorical Imperative? and why? (100 points)

Uh... is it Immanuel Kant?

Only the SMART people will know. Those dickheads who think that 'Swagger' give you bragging rights won't have a clue.

So I was right, hooray. However, what's it called when your moral system is categorical in nature, kantian, blacks and whites instead of the utilitarian greys?

I forget the word.

Consequentualism? The ends justifies the means? Or Deontology? Where the consequences don't really matter.

That's the one.

Which one though? There's two?

Kant is Deontological in nature, Bentham is Consequential in nature.

Or Lawful - Deontological, Chaotic - Consequential and Neutral is a third term I can't remember the word for. Aretological or something?

 

[Phisi]

Actually there is a specific Creationist theory that is semi-valid. The Futurama episode actually made it perfectly. I think of it as the petrie dish theory. Some higher power made life then evolution took over. IE The Universe is just an experiment in the laboratory of God! Not saying I personally believe it but I've yet to see anything to truly shoot any holes in it. In a way it combines the best of both worlds.

That wouldn't be a theory but still a hypothesis though as you can not show evidence (well no evidence that is also present in another hypothesis, the big bang) or proof for it. We can not prove that the world we see and hear exists as well and whether it is just our imagination (GO SOLIPSISM!) but the alternative also has no proof so as according with SCIENCE!!! we shall stick to what we think we know until we have more measurements and a new hypothesis that fits better.

I like the fallacious test idea but I would also go the next step and require them to explain why the examples are illogical. Definitely a test where they have to mark at lest half of the countries of the world in their location but me addition to this thread shall be an explanation of the difference between social and economic systems of governance, what the left-right scale represents and some examples of political regimes and where they fall on a scale.

EDIT:
didn't want to double post,

One question: What is the largest living thing on our planet?

If they answer blue whale or elephant they're wrong. The answer is a tree. There are some trees such as the sequoia or hyperion that grow more than 300ft (~90 meters) tall and have a base of more than 40ft (~12 meters).

Doesn't the Great Barrier Reef count in some definitions? And what about the the Honey Mushroom, it covers 8.8 km2, that's bigger than your stupid tree

 

[Zantos]

1a) Who was it that said "If we knew what we were doing it wouldn't be called research" (Trans.)?

1b) Why was he a bad person?

 

[Regeaj]

Question 1: What is your name?
Question 2: What is your favorite color?
Question 3: What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow?

If you pass, you move up a grade and take the test again. If you fail, you die.

1. Regeaj
2. Blue
3. 10 meters per second for European, 11 meters per second for an African

 

[Psychedelic Spartan]

1) can you point your home town on a world map?

2) do you find Chuck Norris/Cake/arrow to the knee jokes funny?

3) do you watch MTV?

4) locate Iraq and Afghanistan on a world map.

5) is Europe a country or a series of united countries?

6) did you ever use the word "haters"

7) can you stand people trolling you?

8) can you handle Criticism?

9) do you spell "alot" or "allot"?

10) do you type in "7331" speak?

11) does he look like a *****?

1. Yes I can
2. no
3. no
4. give me a map and I will
5. series of united countries
6. no
7. yes, because I don't care what they think
8. yes
9. alot is not a word, it should be a lot, on the other hand allot is a different word meaning to give something to someone as a share or task
10. no
11. what?