Fallen in love with life coach

[Siyano_v1legacy]

hello, I have been in professional relationship with a slightly younger girl as an life coach, at first I wasn't really looking at her as a potential, but then through our work together we grew a very great strong relationship of friendship/work. As for in the last few month I can't stop thinking about her, I always appreciate her company and would love to kiss her.
The real problem, I know she does not really want to break the professional ethic by getting in emotional relation with me.

As for us together we have a work contract that ends around September, bu my feeling for her are so strong I am afraid I can't wait to show her all my love to her.

Option
A) Just be patient and wait until the end of the contract
B) Explain to her how I feel and ask her to be my girlfriend and still let her choose
C) Just jump on her and kiss her like I never kissed

 

[Legion]

A is easily the most sensible option. Once that contract is over she is under no professional obligation against dating you, if she would like to. She may not want to, but she won't get in trouble if she does.

B is not a good idea as it would be putting unreasonable pressure on her and risks damaging the professional relationship. You have already said she doesn't want to do that, so I don't think that would be fair on her. If you care about her, then respecting her wishes is a part of that.

C is just a terrible idea. It may work in movies, but unless you are 100% certain (which is impossible by the way) that she will respond positively, at best you will just end your life coaching from her, at worst you will get in trouble for sexual harassment.

 

[Siyano_v1legacy]

I would say that even our professional relationship, it is so strong that I would not think it will affect anything if we start an emotional one, is it really a bad idea to be at the same time professional and life partner?
I can't really see the problem

ps: She never directly said she didn't wanted a relation with me, although she pointed out she preferred to keep the "ethic" of her job and not compromise anything

 

[Amethyst Wind]

I can't really see the problem

Allow me. The first problem is the possibility that you're confusing your emotions. I don't fully know what a life coach does but I guess it's something like a sponsor or guidance counsellor who helps you through rough patches and aids you in working towards your goals. In this situation she is a girl around your age who is showing a strong interest in your life. This is a very strong link which you may be mistaking for something that isn't platonic.

The second would be that you seem to not give a damn whether this girl keeps her job or not and selfishly want to pursue a relationship that you're not even sure she wants. If you act on this and it goes badly she could STILL catch flak from her employers about it and her role would be in jeopardy. I've yet to see anything from you that shows you actually give a damn about that part of her life.

The third problem is that you already seem to resist being dissuaded from a catastrophically dangerous course of action that you've decided upon by yourself.

Be very careful.

 

[Spud of Doom]

I would say that even our professional relationship, it is so strong that I would not think it will affect anything if we start an emotional one, is it really a bad idea to be at the same time professional and life partner?

I feel like if you had ever been involved in a professional support role before, you would have a very different opinion here. While it might seem ok to you, I can guarantee you that it's one of the strictest terms of her job not to be intimately or physically involved with her clients.

The closest you could get to being reasonable would be to bring it up after you are no longer interacting professionally. Even then, I would say to leave it a few weeks after your final session, and I would still not recommend it. There is a high chance that you're misreading her care and interest in your personal improvement as a romantic interest.

And just a side-note, this:

Once that contract is over she is under no professional obligation against dating you, if she would like to. She may not want to, but she won't get in trouble if she does.

Is not always true, depending on where she lives and what professional bodies she may or may not be affiliated with. There may be restrictions on recent/past clients depending on what the relationship was.

 

[Chromatic Aberration]

While such and similar topics are outside my range of expertise, I'd like to chime in to explicitly agree with the rest here (especially Spud). If I remember correctly you wrote some time ago that you were suffering from some psychological issues that you wanted to get treatment for - so if your "life coach" is indeed your therapist you need to refrain yourself. Not to get into a relationship with a client is a basic rule for them if I'm not mistaken and the probability is high that you are misreading her interest in you.

Therefore everything but course A) sounds like a really bad idea. And even then pursue that course really carefully...

 

[Siyano_v1legacy]

Thank all for your concern
I guess I will wait until the end of our work together

 

[NBSRDan]

You CANNOT express romantic feelings and still have a professional relationship where one person pays the other's salary. Waiting out the contract is a given. You have at least that much self-control; you're not a heroin addict. I suppose you could cut it short as long as you pay the rest of what was expected, though it's murky legal territory and I may be talking out of my ass here.
When you express your personal feelings, understand that you CANNOT have a professional relationship with her ever again, regardless of how she responds to your advance.
Lastly, be warned that you may not fully understand what you're getting into. People often fall in love with therapists because it's a person who is always trying to help you, listens to you complain about your problems, and never judges you. Your relationship with your life coach may be a similar dynamic, wherein you see her only at her best and as such idealize her. In the rare case that a therapist breaks their oath and starts a personal relationship with a client, it never works out because suddenly the client has to deal with all of the therapist's problems.

 

[Smeatza]

I would say option A.

And hidden option D - stop wasting your money on life coaches.