Favorite Madworld quotes

[kyouger]

For those of you who have played Madworld (and I pity those who haven't), you should know that the two commentators, Kreese Kreely and Howard "Buckshot" Holmes are two of the funniest sons of bitches that I have ever met. Their incredibly over the top lines add quite a bit to an already awesome games. They have several terrific quotes, and though I've got my favorites, I'd like to hear what you guys loved best. If this thing catches on, I'll list some of my own.

 

[Hazy]

I remmember it roughly, but here goes:
"Why the F*** do you think they call him Little Eddie?"
"I think it's supposed to be Ironic.."
"What?"
"You know, the grouping of two unlike words into a phrase, usually for a humorous effect"
"..."
"You got beat up alot in school didn't you?"
"...yes"

 

[DM.]

"No means yes and yes means anal"

 

[kyouger]

Alright, here's a couple of mine.

"Ha! Look at those pussies run!"
"Those are smart pussies."

"You know, that stop sign/tire combo was very ironic."
"What do you mean?"
"Oh, did I say ironic? I meant FUCKING AWESOME!"
"Common mistake."

"This blood-sucking succubus can give one killer hickey. I fought against her in the 2004 games; lost half a gallon of plasma and was declared legally dead for a week."
"Awesome rack on her though."
"True that. While you're distracted by her headlights, she'll sic a shitload of bats on you, and those fuckers have fleas!"
"Awesome rack on her though."
"True that."

 

[Devildoc]

"What kind of effects do those happy pills have?"
"Well it depends. If Jack takes the blue one he'll wake up and forget all of this that has happened as if it were a dream. But if he takes the red one then he'll stay in Wonderland and see how far the rabbit hole truly goes."

"This reminds of a joke, what did the leper say to the hooker?"
"What?"
"Keep the tip!"

 

[Mr. Fister]

When you kill someone with the gong:

"Jack really banged that guy!"
"I'll bet he really enjoyed banging that guy, too."
"Jack'll be banging guys all night long!"
"Are you saying he's going to do some gangbanging?"
"Yes, he'll definitely be doing some gangbanging."
"Have we played out the whole 'bang as a reference to sex' joke yet?"
"I can't think of anymore."

Pick up a jack balloon:

"It's an extra life for Jack!"
"I wonder why those other guys didn't grab that extra life?"
"I dunno, maybe they didn't see it."
"Same with the Happy Onions and powerups; it's like only Jack can see them!"

When Big Long Driller appears:

"Here's come Big Long Driller!"
"That's what the ladies used to call me before my accident!"
"And what do they call you now?"
"They don't call me...."


Man, it was genius for them to cast Greg Proops and John DiMaggio as the announcers. Those two were perfect for a game like this.