Incidentally...
This is quite interesting. You can find this sort of stuff dotted around the internet, as people pick apart shitty writing. The author Adam Roberts had a blog (since also lost to history) where he enjoyed himself pulling apart terrible writing (Dan Brown, Robert Jordan, etc.)
Most of us of course don't really know English that well to realise how sloppy or weak a lot of writing is, we don't care, we just happily plough through. And that's fine. Stuff doesn't have to be high art for us to enjoy it, and if we enjoy it, what's the problem really? A quick look at the sales of Dan Brown and Adam Roberts would suggest that no matter how bad an author Dan Brown is, his bank balance got the last laugh.
But I do like looking at these sorts of critiques.