Federal Court Rules that the X-Men are Not Human

Marshall Honorof

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Federal Court Rules that the X-Men are Not Human


In a move sure to please the anti-mutant movement, a U.S. federal court has ruled that the X-Men (or at least their action figures) do not count as humans.

If you grew up during the 90s, nothing conjures up memories of getting up early and crowding the TV in your pajamas quite like the freakishly extensive [http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZAhqEiq4cA] toy line. While the X-Men would like nothing better than to be accepted as brethren by the humans they protect, the United States Court of International Trade finally ruled, after years of debate, that the X-Men do not count as humans, at least as far as importing toys is concerned.

The debate entailed a series of court cases going back over ten years. Toy Biz, the company producing X-Men toys, imported the iconic mutant action figures from China, and noticed that the X-Men drew higher tariffs than other toys. As it turns out, tariffs relating to dolls ("representing only human beings and parts and accessories thereof") were higher than those for nonhuman toys. Toy Biz took the case to court and argued that the X-Men (and by extension, Spider-Man, the Fantastic Four, and other Marvel heroes) toys represented meta-humans, mutants, aliens, and other inhuman entities. The cases went back and forth for a few years, and had trouble arriving at a universal answer: While the court at one point decided that the X-Men counted as nonhumans, it maintained that their adversary the Silver Samurai [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silver_Samurai] was subject to the "doll" tariffs. Marvel fans are sure to scratch their heads at this one, since the Silver Samurai is as much a mutant as the X-Men themselves.

While the case could be seen as a victory for Toy Biz, it's a bit of a hollow one. The company became a division of Mattel a few years ago, and Hasbro now possesses the license for most Marvel toys until 2017. Furthermore, the distinction between dolls and other toys was part of a now-defunct tariff system; the cost to import the two is now the same. If toy tariffs undergo further revision, this ruling could prove useful. Otherwise, chalk this one up as a victory for the Brotherhood of Mutants [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Brotherhood_of_Mutants]. Maybe those divisive humans weren't worth protecting, anyway.

Source: Law and the Multiverse [http://lawandthemultiverse.com/2011/12/27/are-the-x-men-human-federal-court-says-no/]

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ResonanceSD

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So apparently the courts have solved every other problem in the US, if they have time for this.
 

mad825

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Human? as in not Homo sapiens? We are nothing but a mere sub-category within the human evolution.
 

Imperioratorex Caprae

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Does this mean all humans with mutations are now non-humans? Or just specific to the X-Men comics. Depending on the wording, if this says "mutants" are not non-human, and not "super-powered meta-humans" aren't human, then there is a problem because I most definitely qualify as a mutant. Blue eyes are a mutation, not a naturally occuring part of the human race.
 

Jadak

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ResonanceSD said:
So apparently the courts have solved every other problem in the US, if they have time for this.
Funny, I would have thought importation costs involving the business dealings of multi million dollar companies and how much they have to pay the government is a fairly justified as being worth dealing with by the United States Court of International Trade. It's sort of the very reason that court even exists....
 

D Moness

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mad825 said:
Human? as in not Homo sapiens? We are nothing but a mere sub-category within the human evolution.
I think Magneto referred to the mutants as Homo Superior(well since Magneto is always trying to prove mutants are better then humans who knows if it is right). Since homo sapiens is technically human homo superior isn't human.
 

ResonanceSD

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Jadak said:
ResonanceSD said:
So apparently the courts have solved every other problem in the US, if they have time for this.
Funny, I would have thought importation costs involving the business dealings of multi million dollar companies and how much they have to pay the government is a fairly justified as being worth dealing with by the United States Court of International Trade. It's sort of the very reason that court even exists....

When the end result of the ruling doesn't actually matter, not so much.
 

mad825

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D Moness said:
mad825 said:
Human? as in not Homo sapiens? We are nothing but a mere sub-category within the human evolution.
I think Magneto referred to the mutants as Homo Superior(well since Magneto is always trying to prove mutants are better then humans who knows if it is right). Since homo sapiens is technically human homo superior isn't human.
"homo" means human or "man" if we are being pedantic. Still, homo the Genus while our specie is H.sapiens.

"H.superior" is just another sub-category within the homo Genus and we could call advance human or Nietzsche's Überman
 

Scrustle

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Really? They spent 10 years, and god knows how much money, on a court case deciding the definition of some little plastic toys, the result of which has long since been made irrelevant? Genius...
 

Lunar Templar

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wow -.- didn't they have something better to do? like, i donno, something crime related. since ya know, the ruling doesn't actually matter given they don't USE that system anymore, yesh .. the things they waste tax dollars on ...
 

Fappy

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I never knew Silver Samurai was an actual mutant. I always thought he got is abilities from training and from his armor.
 

Stalydan

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amaranth_dru said:
Does this mean all humans with mutations are now non-humans? Or just specific to the X-Men comics. Depending on the wording, if this says "mutants" are not non-human, and not "super-powered meta-humans" aren't human, then there is a problem because I most definitely qualify as a mutant. Blue eyes are a mutation, not a naturally occuring part of the human race.
Then I say that a law-abiding blue eyed person, we should all rise up against those who'd bring shame and hostilities to us mutants!

OP - This seems like the most pointless thing to go to court on but whatever.