Fox Reviews: Top 3 Final Fantasy Villains

fOx

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3. Ultimecia

While FF8 is doubtlessly flawed, there can be no denying that Ultimecia is one of the franchises great villains. Like so many villains before, and after, her goal is to ascend to god hood, and achieve ultimate power. To do this, she seeks to compress all of time and space into a single point.
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What ultimately makes ultimecia stand out is her incedible design, and intimidating personality. She is rarely shown, instead existing as a kind of dreadful, fearful presence. This comes to its natural conclusion when she transforms into her more monstrous form, one that illicits images of BDSM, bats, angels, and other bizarre topics.


2. Seymour

In terms of design, Seymour is even more bizarre and intimidating. But, more then that, Seymour is sympathetic. Though his ultimate goal of destruction is obviously evil, it is understandable, given the years of abuse he was forced to suffer. It is perhaps understandable that he believes humanity is worthy of punishment.
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His human design is shamanistic, but his monstrous design, Seymour Flux, reveals the kind of twisted pain that has over taken him by putting a street shark on his head.


3. Bjork

Bjork is possibly the most dangerous and iconic FF boss in the entire franchise. When we originally meet her, she appears as the priestess of Tel'amuno. She pretends to be wise, intelligent, and compassionate. It is not until later, when we meet her underneath the roots of the World Tree, that we discover that she is secretly the Goddess of Destruction. What follows is one of the most brutal boss battles in the franchises history.
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It isn't until after her "defeat" that Bjork takes on her true form. Armed with her wicked Flute of Destruction, which can reduce one characters health to zero in one hit, and can inflict the entire party with random status ailments, Bjork Peperit is a brutal, harrowing encounter. To make matters worse, her spell "unravel" will undue all buffs, including shell and protect, while the chicken fetus on her neck will remove debuffs, and cast shell and protect on her. The best counter to this is to have one character debuff Bjork Peperit every turn, while one character heals, and another attacks. A single KO partied member is devastating. Even when she is "defeated" in battle, it is revealed to not be enough. One of our party members, Lars, is forced to put all of his life energy into his Soul Stone, which grants one wish at the cost of the users life. His attack in the cutscene is enough to severely damage Bjork, and break through her barrier, but even that is not enough to destroy her completely.
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Following this battle, the battle damaged Bjork will reveal her final, monstrous form, Bjork Nueva. Though clearly scarred, this version of Bjork is actually MORE powerful. What's worse, we are down one of our strongest party members. This version of Bjrok does 99% damage with every hit, has a spell that gives a character every status ailment in the book, and can heal herself automatically every turn. What's worse is that, if you lose, she will brick your console, or delete system 32, if you're playing on modern computers. This boss battle was famously described as "cruel" and "sadistic," by Nintendo's Shigeru Miyamoto, and "a little much," by Fromsoft developer Hiyao Miyazaki. The only known way to defeat her was to turn the game off, go outside, pick up a hobby, and ask out a nice girl (or boy). Though difficult, the battle is worth it, as we are then treated to a beatiful finale in which prime minister Shinzo Abe explains that the vaginea head and fetus are actually symbolic of the need for japanese youths to hurry up and procreate, and stop playing so many damn video games.

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Chimpzy

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No Tetsuya Nomura in the top 3? I am disappoint.