Full Official TMNT Trailer Is A Triumph Of Incomprehensibility

[Smooth Operator]

I can't tell if this is some sort of Hulk crossover... I really don't know what the idea behind it was but this is just garbled nonsense, then again they did give a fair "Michael Bay" warning at the start.

 

[Shamanic Rhythm]

Can we stop acting like Ninja Turtles is some kind of bastion of logic and good writing? I rewatched the original TV series a few years ago, and it featured a scene where a man in a lab coat 'proves' that ninjas broke into a scientific company because he found a rope with 'Made in Japan' on the ground.

Yeah, it definitely won't get any better with Megan Fox and Michael Bay involved, but it's hardly sacred ground they're treading on...

I don't recall implying EITHER of those things. The complaint is that Michael Bay is behind this, and therefore it will blow chunder chunkies all over while you watch it. And true, it isn't sacred ground that they trod on, but it's still OUR ground. And we would all very much like it if Michael Bay would "Get off my lawn."
Nobody is demanding The Last Samurai level of writing. But after Transformers we dread what will happen to our favorite Brothers. Remember, Michael Bay managed to fuck up Optimus Prime.

I see it like this: all the [incredibly, incredibly limited] creativity in this project is already going into plot contrivances for changing things about the turtles and their world, and not into writing a fun, ninja-turtles story. So after they are finished making an Incomprehensible George Lucas mess with the backstory , they are going to be all out of anything interesting for our heroes to do.

Bay is definitely a talentless hack who should just leave it alone, but even his ham-fisted approach to making movies crammed with set pieces might not be as bad as what has been done to The Turtles in the past. Have we all forgotten the Ninja Rap so quickly?

 

[NortherWolf]

Eh, wasn't as horrible as I thought. Way better than the Turtles Anime in any case.
Still going to be cautiously pessimistic though.

 

[SilverStuddedSquirre]

Can we stop acting like Ninja Turtles is some kind of bastion of logic and good writing? I rewatched the original TV series a few years ago, and it featured a scene where a man in a lab coat 'proves' that ninjas broke into a scientific company because he found a rope with 'Made in Japan' on the ground.

Yeah, it definitely won't get any better with Megan Fox and Michael Bay involved, but it's hardly sacred ground they're treading on...

I don't recall implying EITHER of those things. The complaint is that Michael Bay is behind this, and therefore it will blow chunder chunkies all over while you watch it. And true, it isn't sacred ground that they trod on, but it's still OUR ground. And we would all very much like it if Michael Bay would "Get off my lawn."
Nobody is demanding The Last Samurai level of writing. But after Transformers we dread what will happen to our favorite Brothers. Remember, Michael Bay managed to fuck up Optimus Prime.

I see it like this: all the [incredibly, incredibly limited] creativity in this project is already going into plot contrivances for changing things about the turtles and their world, and not into writing a fun, ninja-turtles story. So after they are finished making an Incomprehensible George Lucas mess with the backstory , they are going to be all out of anything interesting for our heroes to do.

Bay is definitely a talentless hack who should just leave it alone, but even his ham-fisted approach to making movies crammed with set pieces might not be as bad as what has been done to The Turtles in the past. Have we all forgotten the Ninja Rap so quickly?

The Ninja rap is fun! And it is something I wholeheartedly believe they WOULD engage in. Tokka and Razar were a P.O.S. cop out instead of going full on and giving us Rock-steady and Be-Bop, and I think they did far more damage to the watchability of Turtles 2 than Vanilla Ice did.

Remember this?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LCUvQBmy7MM

 

[Trishbot]

The turtles have been rebooted no less than six or seven times.

At this point, I don't care. If it's good, it's good. People tend to forget that the original cartoon that children everyone grew up loving was pretty insulting to the original dark, gritty, violent comic that spawned it.

That said... I don't know. I get a very "Amazing Spider-man" vibe from it all, up to and including "it was all connected because of plot reasons". Contrived connections have become my new favorite thing to hate in almost all movies (though I've hated it ever since "Leia is your sister"...)

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

They look fine and atleast the characteristics of Mickey seem spot on. Looks like a cross between the originals and the cartoon show. But still not seen them fighting yet and thats my only issue. Now that could be good or bad.

Well they're certainly a lot more ...robust then they were originally that's for sure. They're fucking massive in this, they look more like their super mutated counterparts from the late 90's(when they had another alien overlord to deal with that wasn't Krang).

On the trailer... it could be fun. Like others have said, Mikey looks to be down pat for his personality though their faces look a bit too smooshed compared to their older designs.

Also, everyone. We have GOT to stop using the term "raping our childhood". It's just not that bad a case even if the revisions and remakes are shit compared to the original. Our childhood versions are still there, completely intact and safe from horrible shit no matter what.

Agreed. I was really into the turtles about 20 years ago give or take. I made a turtle pillow case in school and sprayed my own turtle skateboard. But now, all these years later, im not all that interested in a movie like the original movie or the cartoon. This new version i will watch. Things change and people need to adapt. Like the turtle most people love arnt even the original turtles, so this new movie is looking better. The "Rape my childhood" thing is retarded, i agree, you cant be a grown up and ***** about a cartoon. That cartoon us still there, the Turtles movie was good but the 2 sequels sucked. Its a new movie for a new generation and its a way for new fans to see the old cartoons at some point. Same way we have many different kinds of Batman in movies - it didnt ruin Batman did it?

Granted this movie could suck, i think its down to the action and fights. They did ok in the original but them suits were really heavy. An hey, be happy for one thing, no Vanilla Ice.

Beat this 2014 turtles.
http://youtu.be/VFsTr0kGAqU

 

[PeaceRider]

Full Official TMNT Trailer Is A Triumph Of Incomprehensibility

The trailer also confirms that the turtles' origin is no longer random exposure to radioactive waste. Instead, years before, Shredder and his partner, April O'Neil's father, conducted deliberate genetic manipulation in order to create heroes, because reasons. After all, what better way to put the public's mind to rest than to spend what must have been billions making super-sized, man-shaped turtles, then turn that billion-dollar investment into vigilantes with no authority to enforce the law. Obviously, that's a very well-thought out plan that will deliver a serious ROI for people who funded the research.


Permalink

I actually don't think that is what they confirmed. If anything what he meant is that was what the ooze was "originally" meant for. The Turtles themselves could still be the result of an accidentally broken container. If the Shredder made them, then why does it seem they were not raised by him. If ol' bucket head made the turtles, then they would of been raised by him, thus have no need to go nuts like this.
If they WERE made by Shredder's group, then I'd say they were spirited away from the labs shortly after creation then raised in secret as normal.

 

[LordMonty]

Need to see more of a trailer to make a final call on this... but frankly not holding too mcuh hope this ain't gonig to suck.

 

[Neta]

Ah, it looks like a good excuse as any to chill out and eat popcorn.

The movie equivalent of junk food, not a gourmet meal.

 

[josemlopes]

It seems that they simply replaced the Transformers with the turtles, the story seems to be being told from the humans side and all they do is be the action part of the movie. As the Transformers movies this doesnt seem to be a movie about them but just a movie where they appear.

 

[FPLOON]

When the only thing "good" about your [first official] trailer is the "comic relief character" of the movie itself, you might want to double check to see if this was your intention all along at this point... If so, congratulations, you probably feel like whatever concerns people might have at this point might be resolved once they see the [finished] movie firsthand... If not, then think real hard about what you [probably] done wrong and "fix it" before people see the [finished] movie firsthand...

For me, given how my only connections to the Ninja Turtles sterns from the 2003 and 2011 series as well as that anniversary movie and that CGI movie (all of which were good in their right, mostly), I have nothing to truly say about this particular trailer besides "Mikey, alone, is not going to get me to watch this movie right away, trailer... Try again..." which is funny because Mickey was always my favorite out of the incarnations of the turtles I've seen so far...

 

[Canadamus Prime]

I actually don't think the Turtles look all that bad really. Although I almost face desked when I heard the speech about trying to "create heroes." Also why is Meagan Fox in this?

 

[Cpt. Slow]

Also why is Megan Fox in this?

Because her way and skills in giving a man a gratifying oral stimulus is off the charts.

But seriously, I died a little inside because of this trailer. I'll pass on this one (as always when it comes to any Bay related productions)

 

[MeChaNiZ3D]

Barring the horrific character defacement of all the characters in the trailer and the lens flare, doesn't look that bad. Then again, it depends on how much of the movie they spend fixating on Megan Fox and how much they spend on action, which itself is rarely not entertaining.

 

[Daverson]

Can't help but notice, April O'Neil, neither ginger, nor in a skintight jumpsuit.

I mean, really now, oversexualized female characters is the one thing you'd expect Micheal Bay to get right...

 

[RossaLincoln]

Of course, this means the bad guy created the good guy, but this should in no way remind you of everything wrong with 2012's The Amazing Spider-Man, or of Unbreakable.

Spider man sucked, but there's a lot of people that like Unbreakable. It was one of M Night Shenanigan's weirder movies before he got too stupidly big. Also, the bad guy didn't create the good one, just discovered.

To clarify, I meant that this shouldn't remind you of the terrible things about TAM, or remind you of Unbreakable. Sorry for the lack of clarity. I actually like unbreakable.

 

[RossaLincoln]

Full Official TMNT Trailer Is A Triumph Of Incomprehensibility

The trailer also confirms that the turtles' origin is no longer random exposure to radioactive waste. Instead, years before, Shredder and his partner, April O'Neil's father, conducted deliberate genetic manipulation in order to create heroes, because reasons. After all, what better way to put the public's mind to rest than to spend what must have been billions making super-sized, man-shaped turtles, then turn that billion-dollar investment into vigilantes with no authority to enforce the law. Obviously, that's a very well-thought out plan that will deliver a serious ROI for people who funded the research.


Permalink

I actually don't think that is what they confirmed. If anything what he meant is that was what the ooze was "originally" meant for. The Turtles themselves could still be the result of an accidentally broken container. If the Shredder made them, then why does it seem they were not raised by him. If ol' bucket head made the turtles, then they would of been raised by him, thus have no need to go nuts like this.
If they WERE made by Shredder's group, then I'd say they were spirited away from the labs shortly after creation then raised in secret as normal.

You may just turn out to be right, however your rightness gets in the way of my snark and that I CANNOT ABIDE SIR. Ahem. But seriously, you might be right, however, Fichtner is Shredder, and he is the one pretty much saying that the turtles had to be made, whatever that means. Maybe it's a false flag thing. Another commenter suggested that O'Neil's father will probably turn out to be splinter, and that sounds like just the right level of dumb and also, would fit your theory (not that your theory is dumb, just that this movie clearly will be.)

 

[ThreeName]

I never realised what a horrible actor Megan Fox was. Jesus fucking Christ.