Funcom Employee Fired for Cybersex in Conan

Logan Frederick

New member
Aug 19, 2006
Funcom Employee Fired for Cybersex in Conan

A bit of online, in-game sex has resulted in the rapid unemployment of one Funcom employee.

An unnamed Game Master for Funcom's Age of Conan has been caught by an in-game passerby having internet nookie with another player.

After player who claimed to be a real-life female summoned a male Game Master, they traveled to a remote location in the world and began to describe innuendo-laden sexual acts. The resulting banter may be the most scandalous game-related sex act since San Andreas's "Hot Coffee []."

An excerpt below shows the conversation started somewhat innocently (The screen name of the androgynous offender has been renamed "Candy"):
Candy: ..with dual wield barbarians though, I mean TWO?!?! That's a bit difficult for me to handle. I'd rather stick with one big sword.
|GM|: You like it rough I take it :)
Candy: Of Course, I'm a ***ing rock sniffer.
Candy: With daggers.
Candy: And I'm specced for second wind =) I can go all night.
|GM|: lol wow, I don't think I would ever be the same :)
|GM|: um WOw this is turning me on lol.
Candy: Hong Says he wants in on the hot action. But he's a gold farmer/seller. How do you feel about that? He does have a big bow =]

The foreplay flared up from there, with the GM at one point even asking if the player was indeed a woman and above age, which it confirmed:
|GM|: er.. how old are you (hopefully not under 18 lol)
Candy: I'm 9.
Candy: "_-
Candy: Want to be my daddy? Remember, I do like roleplaying ^_--
|GM|: oh nice...
|GM|: um your not really 9 are you? I just want to be sure lol
Candy: Come on... do I sound like I'm 9? What 9 year old knows about glory holes?

The discussion quickly devolved into good ol' web wanking (words modified for work safety are in italics):
|GM|: what if I rip your panties off and massage you hard till I am satisfied?
Candy: That sounds perfect
Candy: Going to use clobber? :p
|GM|: Want to feel you get really wet so I can put just the head of my barnyard animal inside you and use my hand to navigate the depths of my love for you and making you take it all.

The plot twist occurred when the gamer revealed herself to actually be a man:
Candy: You're just as kinky as me
Candy: Infact you're so kinky, you just cybered with a dude :p
Candy shouts: THIS IS SPARTA
|GM|: then when you are really hot and needing more I can reposition and slide my wet tongue up your face and do small circles again around your belly button and then let my tongue trail down your chin.
|GM|: oh that would really be not good lol
Candy: Love you =]
Candy: By the way, I've been fapping to this the whole time.
|GM|: lol why did you want this then lol you gay?
|GM|: are you serious?
Candy: Serious about what?
|GM|: um what's fapping (not up to par on the ling) lol
Candy: I was joking about the fapping, but I am indeed a dude.
|GM|: lol ok.
|GM|: Glad I put my clothes back on lol
Candy: Yeah probably a good idea. I have aids.

The consequence of this conversation resulted in the firing of the offending GM.

"We are aware of this matter, and necessary measures have been taken against them. We have clear guidelines for all employees in Funcom, not least those who work with customer service, and if the guidelines are broken there are consequences," stated Funcom representative Erling Ellingsen. "This is the behaviour that is not accepted by Funcom."

Multiple lessons could be sucked from this sexual escapade. If one is attempting cyber-coitus, stick to a strict definition of "isolation." More importantly, if you're found, let the straggler join in, lest he post screenshots [] of your actions on message boards.

Sources: [], Itavisen [] via Destructoid []



New member
Jul 29, 2008
I lol'd hard, I wonder what they actually said to him when they fired him, and what the exact rule was that he broke, cause it had to be funny.

Iron Mal

New member
Jun 4, 2008
The marvels of the internet ladies and gentlemen!

I just don't get one thing about this, of all paces for people to have conversations of a sexual nature (with strangers mind you)...why an online game?


New member
Aug 10, 2008
wow what a great story it had every thing action, drama, love and a sad ending

Johnn Johnston

New member
May 4, 2008
thebobmaster said:
PedroSteckecilo said:
Sounds like they fired the guy becase he proved himself a grade a idiot.
Or utterly unprofessional.
You clearly know nothing about the workings of businesses. People get fired for being Grade-A idots every day!


Hold Me Closer Tony Danza
Jun 7, 2008
There's so much fun for this. That an employee of a company named "Funcom" engaged in cybersex. That "Candy" is a guy.

I like to wonder what this poor sucker will do now. I'd like to think he'll get some job for a company developing videogames for children.


New member
Mar 17, 2008
Well, after LAUGHING MY PALE WHITE ASS OFF, I do say, at least the WoW game masters that use macros for every second comment do so with proper English. That game master can't be older than twenty, bleeding Christ did that strain my mental auto-correcting faculties.

the monopoly guy

New member
May 8, 2008
When you saw that they were selling this game on sex apeal alone (the ads right here on the Escapist even) didn't you see this coming?

Oh, yea, and FAIL


New member
Aug 10, 2008
haha, if people want to do that its fine by me, i mean the GM wasn't annoying the player, she.. or should i say he was having a laugh.


New member
Dec 9, 2007
They fired him!?

I'd fast-track him to the head of PR and marketing! Heck, its a lot better than their idiotic attempts at attracting attention recently! 'Oh, look! We're better than WoW! Well, kinda. Maybe. Ish. For the first ten levels, anyway!'


That is novelty.


Tank Ninja
Feb 19, 2006
Still doesn't help that I live and work near their US customer support office. Which means he lives around here somewhere.

Now imagine him explaining why he got fired to his next place of employment.