Funny Gaming Dialogue

[Aggressor and Usurper]

The unintentionally hilarious dialogue in Samurai Warriors 2: Empires.
"You're so stupid, that...uhh...yeah, stupid!" (Keiji Maeda using the "Taunt" ability)
"Never, in my long life, have I suffered such outrageous slander!" (Old Man archetype character)
I cracked up.

 

[MelasZepheos_v1legacy]

'You fight like a dairy farmer!'

'How appropriate, you fight like a cow!'

Or words to that effect.

 

[JourneyThroughHell]

There are a lot in GTA IV that are funny, this is one of them, the part I mean starts at 1:10 ish.

<youtube=MQPmSzV7irM>

Yup, pretty much GTA IV.
I love its well-written yet heavily-accented banter.

 

[InvisibleSeal]

Baldur's gate has some of my favourite lines...

Minsc [http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Baldur's_Gate_series#Minsc]: What? Boo is outraged! See his fury! It's small, so look close. Trust me, it's there.

Have to agree, there were some awesome comedy dialogue options, these are the ones I remember:

"Utterly amazing! You spoke so long, but you didn't say anything."
"So, did your parents like trees?" (to this woman who's name is Maple Willow something)
"No, we're not mercenaries. We just carry weapons and kill things for the joy of the experience."

EDIT: googled it http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Baldur%27s_Gate_series

 

[TheYellowCellPhone]

Pretty much all of Timesplitters: Future Perfect is actual comedy gold.

One of the only games I've played where the script is intentionally funny, which is nice.

I have got to replay Timesplitters now... I loved the zombie section, it was challenging, had zombies and the humor with Jo-Beth was hilarious.

Spoiler

 

[gorfias]

I highly recommend you all get to youtube and watch the cutscenes from "Armed and Dangerous". Most of them are better than the drek you're getting from Hwood these days. The game itself was reasonably fun too.

 

[Hoppetussa]

The super mutant conversations in Fallout 3:

Spoiler

 

[I Max95]

"Where's the cake? they told me there would be cake! The cake is a lie. "

-Dragon Age: Origin

who said that i need to hear that for myself

 

[Toriver]

"Where's the cake? they told me there would be cake! The cake is a lie. "

-Dragon Age: Origin

who said that i need to hear that for myself

That would be the man on my avatar, Sten.

EDIT: Video ninja'd. Just look up there.

 

[Yamaraj]

I highly recommend you all get to youtube and watch the cutscenes from "Armed and Dangerous". Most of them are better than the drek you're getting from Hwood these days. The game itself was reasonably fun too.

I love that game.

 

[Aeshi]

ANYTHING the guys on Killing Floor say:

"Smelly buggers grabbed me!"
"LOAD'SA MONEYYY!!!"
"Money Money Moneyyy..."
"I know,you're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!"
"Stand still or I'll stick it where the sun don't bloody shine!"

 

[GundamSentinel]

There are more on Youtube, i love the MGS3 one about the glowing plants

I also like snakes reaction

This was a good one too. MGS3 had the best ones.

 

[Yassen]

There are some golden moments in Mass Effect 2. Jacob, while not exactly a very interesting character, has his moments.

"What's that saying? 'Doing good deeds is like pissing yourself in dark pants. You get a warm feeling but nobody notices.'"

Then of course, who could forget HK-47.

HK: "I'm 98% percent certain this miniature organic meatbag wants you to help find his fellow miniature organic meatbags."
You: "And the other 2 percent?"
HK: "The other 2 percent is that he is just looking for trouble and needs to be blasted, but that might just be wishful thinking on my part."

 

[StreetPizza]

Romance of the Three Kingdoms X-Event dialogue on Sun Ce and Zhou Yu's marriage to the two Qiaos. Paraphrased because I can't bother to look it up myself.

Female Civilian: Did you hear? Lord Sun Ce and Lord Zhou Yu have gotten married!
Player Character: Really? To whom?

Me: Uh, well...

Cue Dynasty Warriors fanfiction writer-splosion.

For those of you who don't know, Sun Ce and Zhou Yu are one of the most commonly paired couples by yaoi (guy-on-guy) fanfiction writers and this scene could easily be interpreted to mean a marriage between the two men. In fact, I hypothesize that the writer who made this little "blunder" actually did so intentionally because of its lack of importance. Well played, O self aware one.

 

[RheynbowDash]

"I figured that it had something to do with the monsters congregating in the regions around my wood." - Great Deku Tree, Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker

My sides hurt so much from laughing when i first saw this.

 

[CLEVERSLEAZOID]

Anything from the original Resident Evil.

And Scooter from Borderlands:

"Lucky's an old buddy of mine - and by old buddy I mean asshole that ruined my momma's girl parts. Sounds like he's in trouble so you go on ahead and try and keep him alive long enough so I can kill him at a later occasion."

"Thanks for keepin' that dickbag alive long enough for me to pound on later. Much as it pains me to admit, Lucky knows the area better than anyone. Might wanna use him whilst he's alive for me not having killed him and all."

"You go to Mad Mel and say Hi from Scooter. ... and by that I mean you just go murder the crap outta him, ye hear?"

"Now, I wasn't born in no barn, alright? Well... actually I was, but all I'm sayin' is you don't believe people runnin' around talkin' 'bout some magic door spewin' out treasure and the like, alright?"

 

[ffs-dontcare]

A few scenes in Crysis: Warhead.

For example, the part where you're on a train and engaging in a three-way conversation with O'Neill and your C.O., and O'Neill says over the radio, "You know what? Fuck Nomad!".

 

[MetalDooley]

Brutal Legend had some pretty funny lines

Eddie Riggs: How about this? How about you take off your fucking diaper, lay down your little baby foofoo, get in the bus and go do your fucking job!
Mangus: Dude, not cool! I wear this thing so I don't have to stop the bus to take a leak.


Eddie Riggs: Wait, how do I get fire tributes again?
The Guardian of Metal: Please the Fucking gods of metal, man.
Eddie Riggs: Ok, I'll be back covered in metal god love
The Guardian of Metal: Oh God!

 

[Snowden's Secret]

I'm guessing that anything from Zero Wing doesn't count. Either that or everybody's trying to dodge the meme bullet.
Some of the terrorists from Rainbow Six Las Vegas 2 say some funny banter during combat. Can't remember most of what they say, but on one level I did hear something to this effect:
Foe #1: "Cover me!"
Foe #2: "Fuck you, you cover me!"

 

[CowboyfromHell666]

Many of Alistair's lines in Dragon Age Origins crack me up.

"What? Lead? Me? No, no, no. No leading. Bad things happen when I lead. We get lost, people die, and the next thing you know I'm stranded somewhere without any pants."

"Yes, that's right! Watch as I thrash our enemies with the mighty power of floral arrangements! Feel my thorns, darkspawn! I will overpower you with my rosy scent!"

"Just so you know, if the king ever asks me to put on a dress and dance the Remigold, I'm drawing the line. Darkspawn or no."

I love Alistair.

Hahahaha I love Alistair too. There's funny dialogue between him and Morrigan when you are just wandering around.