Game companies play the Stanley Parable

Matthew Jabour

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Narrator: When Stanley came to a set of two open doors, he entered the door on his left.

Sony: Left. Every time we've gone left so far, we ended up winning. Left is the correct way.

Microsoft: Our research has shown that people prefer right to left, so right must be correct.
Later: Oh god! Everyone hates us! Quick, take that side door, get back on the left path!

Nintendo: Well, we went left last time. Why not go right? Mix it up a bit.

EA: Our research has found that there are more endings to the right than the left. Right is more profitable.

Capcom: What do you think, Mr. Squirrel?
Squirrel: squeak squeak
Capcom: Our CEO has spoken! Left!

Square Enix: Branching paths? How horrible! Let's take the one on the left and pretend that other one doesn't exist.

Bethesda: Two doors? I want more! More doors! Give me every door in the world!

Activision: The left.
The left.
The left.
The left.
The left.

Sega: Help! I locked myself in the broom closet!

Zynga: Hold on, I'll ask my friends.

David Cage: Oh, look at that beautiful door! So many polygons. It's like there's a real door right in front of me!

Rovio: Where are the birds? There's no birds! How can there not be birds!
Narrator: Stanley, are you all right?
Rovio: I NEED BIRDS!

Gearbox: Substitute 'guns' for 'birds'

Valve: I will take every door, and each one will be greater than the last!

Rockstar: The right.
The right.
The right.
The right.
The right.
 

Barbas

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Why not turn this into a forum game? For each new choice that we encounter in The Stanley Parable, someone can post what they think game companies would choose to do.

...What comes after the two doors again?

That reminds me, I really should be playing The Stanley Parable right now.
 

Alex Graves

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Barbas said:
Why not turn this into a forum game? For each new choice that we encounter in The Stanley Parable, someone can post what they think game companies would choose to do.

...What comes after the two doors again?

That reminds me, I really should be playing The Stanley Parable right now.
Left side, more of a serious play/choices also broom closet ending, I liked the broom closet ending. :D
Right side, more fun and silly choices/endings well except the one with the....spoilers son :p
 

lacktheknack

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Sega: Help! I locked myself in the broom closet!

Choked on my macaroni. 10/10, would read again.

How about Mojang: "I've been going left for a while, so I'll go right. Someone else keep going left for me."
 

Mothhive

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Bioware: Hmmm, I think this game is bugged. Nothing popped up to indicate if I choose the good or evil door!
 

IllumInaTIma

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Telltale games: We'll go right. Narrator will remember that.

That's all I got fellas.
 

CrankyStorming

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Square Enix: Let's go left, but then give up and try to monetise the broom closet.

Konami: Don't leave room 427, get someone else to make the decision.

Ubisoft: We won't go left unless we know we can get a ton of endings.
 

Brian Tams

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CrankyStorming said:
Ubisoft: We won't go left unless we know we can get a ton of endings.
Wouldn't Ubisoft's be more like

Ubisoft: We can't commit to a door until we know we can franchise one.

And for mine:

Valve: Thank Christ there aren't three doors.
 

Phrozenflame500

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This is a great thread. I approve of this thread.

Matthew Jabour said:
Sony: Left. Every time we've gone left so far, we ended up winning. Left is the correct way.
I feel this is more suited towards Ubisoft then Sony.

Sony: Everyone who has gone to the right has died, let's go to the left

Mojang: Let's make our own door!

EA: There are no doors, you can buy a door for 599 Microsoft points

Telltale: Why does it matter? They both go to the same place, right?

Bioware: These doors aren't colour-coded, what am I supposed to do!
 

MysticSlayer

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Nintendo: Is there a game on the other side or a console. If it is a game, then we will go left. If it is a console, we will go right. Please narrator, explain. Please! Narrator! Pretty please! Narrator! NARRATOR!

BioWare: Needs at least one more choice, and how dare you not tell me what is right and wrong!

EA: No, we will go right and then think up an excuse for ignoring you later. We will only go left if you go left first.

Telltale: Gah! Stop rushing me! Uh, uh...OK, go right! No, left. No...stop forcing my hand! Oh well, the ending will be the same regardless.

Ubisoft: Hey, narrator. You're an idiot. Unless you give us a compelling reason to go left, we will not listen to you, you pathetic, idiotic, moronic, worthless piece of shit!

DICE: No, narrator. You see, you are objectively wrong in your assertion that I should go left. Here, I will go right because I am always right and I know you are always wrong.

Activision: Meh, left was successful last time. Let's do it again.

2K: The choice is not meaningful until the doors look fully realistic.

CD Projekt RED: OK, we'll go left.

SEGA, Square Enix, Capcom, Konami: AFK

Microsoft: Going left would be a backwards mentality. Let's go right!

Sony: LOL, Microsoft! Let's go left!

Valve: I think the narrator will be most pleased if we go left. Therefore, we will go left.

Yeah, I've run out of ideas at this point.
 

Olas

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Dec 24, 2011
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Jasper van Heycop said:
Wrong! Nintendo would probably stand there indefinitely, why make new choices when you can cash in on decade old IP, right?
You're both wrong, Nintendo would completely ignore the 2 doors and build it's own door that's facing sideways and claim it's being innovative.

Retro Studios: We'll go wherever Nintendo goes, and we'll be AWESOME while we do it.

Chinese Room: Wow, look at these amazing doors, they're so beautiful. Before I go on I just need a minute to take in this experience.
 

Mike Richards

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Naughty Dog: We'll have one team take the exciting, funny, action packed door on the left, and we'll have another team take the tense, heart breaking, thrilling door on the right.

Jaeger: We'll take which ever door makes you feel worse about yourself, which is BOTH OF THEM.

Irrational: It doesn't matter which door we pick, because we realized our endings are much better when we only have one of them.

Monolith: There are more random bloodstains on the left, so I'm guessing we go that way.

Bethesda: I'm sure either door would be fantastic, but right now there's a backwards dragon clipping through them that I can't get past. The fans will probably build an even better door in a few months anyways.

Ion Storm: We'll start with the door on the right, reach the end, then start exploring down a side passage and realize it leads back to the door on the left.

Ion Storm: I can't get through either of them until my two AI partners stop getting caught on the level geometry and catch up to me.

Double Fine: We have all the money we need to go through the door on the left, but while we're doing that we're also gonna
start collecting for the right. It worked for inXile.

LucasArts: Which ever one says 'Star Wars'.

Frictional: Opening doors is fun.

EDIT: One from my sister. Valve: We aren't actually going to go through either door, we'll just stay here playing with the see-saw some more. People still like that right?
 

Alfador_VII

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Riot: This is never going to work, mid is missing

Mojang: Forget the doors, let's dig through the walls
 

Darren716

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Suda 51: I'll go through the middle door. (proceeds to run directly through the wall)

EA: The left door. Buy steel door pack for $4.99.

Bioware: We thought 2 doors was too complex so we stream lined it down to one door
 

deathbydeath

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Activision: Only two doors? We need at least one annual door from each major franchise to maximize profit!!

I feel like this is the new Lightbulb joke.
 

Dalisclock

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Frictional: If you go through the left door, a monster will be waiting on the other side. If you go through the right door, nothing will happen until about three or four doors down, then you'll run into a dead end, turn around and then hear the moan of some kind of horrible monster, which is now one room away.