Games do a lot of stupid shit don't they?

Erttheking

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I love games, I really do, but they're pretty stupid at times, delightfully so at points, but there's no getting around the fact that sometimes games do really stupid things.

For example, something that crops up a lot with JRPGs "You reduced your enemy's hit points to zero. He's dead! You reduced the next person's hit points to zero. He has been wounded and runs away for the third time!"

http://cdn.themis-media.com/media/global/images/library/deriv/908/908487.png

The problem isn't so much that I can't believe a fight ends with someone still being alive, it's just internally inconsistent. Kind of hilarious though. In Fire Emblem Awakening I can hit a half naked woman with a critical hit explosion right in her face and somehow she's still capable of getting up and walking away, and somehow we just can't catch her.

Any other stupid things that games do that you can think of? I thought after all the arguing we've been doing, we could use a chance to sit down, have a laugh, and not take things so seriously for a change.
 

Legion

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Missing a 95% hit chance in X-Com on an enemy one tile away always makes me wonder how these soldiers got past basic training. I mean there's bad and then there's "This person shouldn't be allowed near a weapon" bad.
 

BloatedGuppy

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A KissLike Smile said:
Missing a 95% hit chance in X-Com on an enemy one tile away always makes me wonder how these soldiers got past basic training. I mean there's bad and then there's "This person shouldn't be allowed near a weapon" bad.
I like to think of it as each turn based sequence represents a couple of seconds. If I miss at point blank range, the alien simply dodged.

It's a more "realistic" interpretation of turn based combat than "we each take turns standing stock still while the other side runs up and empties guns into our heads".
 

tippy2k2

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Stealth AI in...well....just about every game with stealth that has ever existed.

We saw someone trying to break in? Well, it's been a good minute so they're probably gone by now.
My fellow guard hasn't responded to me talking to him? Eh...he's probably good. He's always been so shy.
My fellow guard just took a bullet to the brain and is dead?!?! Well...it's been a minute so that bad guy probably ran away by now.

For some strange reason, the only game I can think of that actually handled it pretty well (though I'm sure it's not the only one) was Splinter Cell Chaos Theory (I think it was CT; I know it was one of the Splinter Cell games). If the bad guys see you, they do their normal "Look around for a minute or two" but the big difference is that they call in more people AND they get better equipment (like body armor). They are also more alert for you since they know that you're SOMEWHERE in the area and they just haven't been able to find you yet.
 

Erttheking

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BloatedGuppy said:
A KissLike Smile said:
Missing a 95% hit chance in X-Com on an enemy one tile away always makes me wonder how these soldiers got past basic training. I mean there's bad and then there's "This person shouldn't be allowed near a weapon" bad.
I like to think of it as each turn based sequence represents a couple of seconds. If I miss at point blank range, the alien simply dodged.

It's a more "realistic" interpretation of turn based combat than "we each take turns standing stock still while the other side runs up and empties guns into our heads".
Funny you mention dodging. In Darkest Dungeon, there used to be a stationary cauldron that could dodge. Apparently it was magical.
 

Erttheking

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tippy2k2 said:
Stealth AI in...well....just about every game with stealth that has ever existed.

We saw someone trying to break in? Well, it's been a good minute so they're probably gone by now.
My fellow guard hasn't responded to me talking to him? Eh...he's probably good. He's always been so shy.
My fellow guard just took a bullet to the brain and is dead?!?! Well...it's been a minute so that bad guy probably ran away by now.

For some strange reason, the only game I can think of that actually handled it pretty well (though I'm sure it's not the only one) was Splinter Cell Chaos Theory (I think it was CT). If the bad guys see you, they do their normal "Look around for a minute or two" but the big difference is that they call in more people AND they get better equipment (like body armor). They are also more alert for you since they know that you're SOMEWHERE in the area and they just haven't been able to find you yet.
Arkham Aslyum had something like that. They didn't go as far as those guys did, but they did permanently go on alert if they knew batman was in the area. Also if a thug is by himself because everyone else is down he won't go "Huh, sure got quiet," he will start panicking, screaming "WHERE ARE YOU!?" and firing off his gun at random.
 

Silentpony_v1legacy

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A KissLike Smile said:
Missing a 95% hit chance in X-Com on an enemy one tile away always makes me wonder how these soldiers got past basic training. I mean there's bad and then there's "This person shouldn't be allowed near a weapon" bad.
It gets worse. I've had 100% miss because the game failed to tell me there was a tree in the way that stopped my plasma shot dead. 100% hit chance, missed. The game is very bad at explaining if there is terrain in the way.


OP: Also the Assassin's Creed games with climbing, where you get stuck on a chair, then jump off a table, then run up a wall, jump out a window, land on a guard and sprint for the ocean and you were only trying to press B to open a chest.
 

Barbas

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"Is that a spoon from Kvatch I see protruding from your pocket? GET FUCKED, CRIMINAL SCUM!"

Yeah, some things annoy me and others are inexplicably endearing (most of the time) because they hit that sweet spot that things like the Pythons managed to (sometimes) hit. One thing that really annoys me is enemies or bosses who give no sign that they've suffered any amount of damage, even if you unload repeatedlyinto their forehead. Firing bullets into a wall is not fun. Doom 3 suffered from this, which sadly took a lot of the fun out of the shooting until I figured out how many shots each enemy could take with each weapon.
 

Asita

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Guard: "Let me guess. [mocking]Someone stole your sweetroll[/mocking]"
Me: "Dude, I'm a thane in this hold, I took care of your dragon problem, I'm harbinger of the companions, archmage of the college of winterhold, a damn war hero, and I've had tea and biscuits with Skjor in Sovengarde! And that's just the stuff you might have heard about! Now let's try that again without the attitude"

Oh Bethesda...
 

Auron225

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tippy2k2 said:
Stealth AI in...well....just about every game with stealth that has ever existed.

We saw someone trying to break in? Well, it's been a good minute so they're probably gone by now.
My fellow guard hasn't responded to me talking to him? Eh...he's probably good. He's always been so shy.
My fellow guard just took a bullet to the brain and is dead?!?! Well...it's been a minute so that bad guy probably ran away by now.
I had a similar reaction to replaying Fallout 3 recently. It was one of the first buildings filled with Raiders I was exploring, and saw two of them down the corridor. Killed one of them with a hunting rifle... and absolutely zero reaction from his friend. Nothing. Zip. His friend just got his head blown off, out of nowhere, and it doesn't even warrant a comment, let alone the rational "Holy crap! What happened!? Who did that!? Someone help!" that I would have expected. It actually took me by surprise how simple the AI was to just ignore that kinda thing.
 

DoPo

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tippy2k2 said:
For some strange reason, the only game I can think of that actually handled it pretty well (though I'm sure it's not the only one) was Splinter Cell Chaos Theory (I think it was CT; I know it was one of the Splinter Cell games). If the bad guys see you, they do their normal "Look around for a minute or two" but the big difference is that they call in more people AND they get better equipment (like body armor). They are also more alert for you since they know that you're SOMEWHERE in the area and they just haven't been able to find you yet.
Dishonored also had a nice touch - if there are two guards with crossing patrol paths and you take out one of them, you can occasionally hear the other saying "Huh, why is nobody patrolling over here?". And guards don't stay chained to their patrol paths, too - I've seen guards not only saying that somebody should be patrolling, but taking up that task as well. I think it is when their normal route appears to be guarded, for example, if there is another guard with them, they'll split off.

On the other hand, the guards in Dishonored still have some classic weaknesses - for example lack of peripheral vision (I was at a corner once and a guard walked RIGHT NEXT TO ME without noticing) and the some sort of bizzarre toddler moon logic where if they can't see your legs, you apparently don't exist (lean out of cover and you could bump into somebody without a problem).
 

baddude1337

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I've always liked how in most fantasy games, bashing open a barrel in a hundred year old dungeon yields a freshly cooked chicken.
 

FPLOON

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"Hey guys, can I get pass ya'll so that I can go save the day?"
"Sure, Sonic, but first you must find the Captain..."
"Is it you?"
"Of course not!"
"...Is it you?"
"Yes! How'd you know??"
*S-Rank*
*facepalm*

Other than that, I still can't get over the default (and technically only) controls of Virtua Quest where the whip command should have been the camera command and vise verse... I mean, who all thought that was the best controls to run with in that game?
 

Xeros

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Random loot tables: always and forever the harbingers of glorious nonsense.

Locked chest at the bottom of the lake? Have a glass of ice-cold milk.
 

Shoggoth2588

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Remember that time Konami fucked up a port of Silent Hill 2? It just as bad as that time Sega fucked up a GBA port of Sonic the Hedgehog. Not to mention EA's massive fuck up of reviving Battlefront when they would have likely been much more at home resurrecting Star Wars: Republic Commandos...I guess that's more along the lines of stupid industry stuff...OK try again;

Just Cause 2 is so stupid that the best way to not die after falling out of a jet or, off of a building is to use your grapple-hook on the ground and pull it closer to you...which speeds you up.

I hate RNG in general...FTL almost feels like I'm playing a slot machine or scratch-card where everything is already set after I press start and I have to stumble blindly from then on. I don't mind when a game beats me but I want to know I wasn't screwed from the very beginning. The RNG in Renowned Explorers definitely feels a lot kinder, which makes that game a lot more fun to play...but RNG is still used for loot drops...which can be REALLY frustrating, not just in RE:IS but in games like Final Fantasy IV and Yokai Watch. Stupid Drop of Joy...

baddude1337 said:
I've always liked how in most fantasy games, bashing open a barrel in a hundred year old dungeon yields a freshly cooked chicken.
Old School Fighting Games and Castlevania has this too and I freaking love it. Mmmm, piping hot roast beef, fresh from broken masonry set up centuries ago! Just like Mama used to make!
 

Zenja

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You go hunting wildlife. They tend to somehow carry 10-20 gold pieces with them.

You are too overburdened to pick up a ruby or a cloth hat, but you can pick up another couple hundred or thousand gold pieces... gold is heavy.

Then on my way out of town...



 

crimson5pheonix

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Dungeon layouts are usually pretty stupid. My favorite is how inevitably the switches or keys to a door are in front of the door that's trying to be protected.
 

Gethsemani_v1legacy

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erttheking said:
Arkham Aslyum had something like that. They didn't go as far as those guys did, but they did permanently go on alert if they knew batman was in the area. Also if a thug is by himself because everyone else is down he won't go "Huh, sure got quiet," he will start panicking, screaming "WHERE ARE YOU!?" and firing off his gun at random.
All the Arkham games has it in their stealth sections. In City and Knight the mooks also start pro-actively preventing you from moving around by destroying gargoyles etc. if they see you using them. It is great both because you feel the situation escalate as the player, making it harder and harder to take those last two mooks down, but it also brings that Batman feeling of being a super vigilante.