[http://smg.photobucket.com/albums/v440/JackRubyultima/?action=view¤t=gears-of-war.jpg]
Ladies and Gentlemen: The Jonas Brothers!
Now that we have some perspective on it, let?s be Honest: Gears of War 1 was the ?worst Best game of all time?. Graphically, it was amazing, had awesome game play, a campy story and some of the non-intentionally funniest characters in a video game. None of what I just said, however, excuses the fact that multiplayer was like Orpheus walking through the underworld not willing to look back because he?s worried Eurydice is shotty-rolling right behind him.
Fortunately, we now have Gears of War 2 and Epic games lead designer/male supermodel Clifford Bleszinski the first has promised that Gears 2 fixes the troubles of the first game. I, of course, have learned not to trust the world of Male supermodels and seek to see if this is, in fact, true.
Story
I?ve never thought the story to Gears was any good. Yes, I know Cliffy?s been going on and on about how the story this time around is more emotional and epic, and we?ll be more emotionally invested in the characters. And while that may be true, no matter how I feel about Dom?s wife, it cant distract me from the fact that I?m playing a cross between a bad Vietnam war movie and an okay 1950?s sci-fi movie about mole people.
Gears of war 2 starts 6 months after the first and finds humanity (here?s the twist!) ?in a life or death struggle with a monstrous alien race?. Turns out the light-mass bomb in the first game only killed an ?assload? of Locust instead of the preferred ?ten assloads?. As a result, the Locust are back and sinking entire cities. Therefore, its up to Marcus Fenix and his Motley crew of gruff, grizzled, multi-ethnic soldiers to launch an assault against the Locust?s home of the Hollow and deliver a size 15 curb stomp to their Castrating Mother of a Queen. Meanwhile, Dom is still looking his beloved wife Maria (*sings* she reminds of the west side story), Baird still finding ways to be a lovable prick, and the Cole-train is still a ?loud black athlete?.
See? Its really not that interesting of a story. Its any movie from the 90?s starring Sylvester Stallone.
Even so, there is a campy appeal to it. The voice actors are top notch, and despite their sometimes cheesy dialogue, they do evoke a kind of kitch appeal. Just don?t go into Gears 2 expecting James Joyce with mole-people. It?s a game about shooting underground aliens and that?s what you get.
Gameplay
There isn?t a lot of change from Gears 1 game-play wise. You still take cover and shoot, still dice up locust with a chainsaw bayonet, and so on. Yet the few changes truly changed the way the game is played.
First things first: I love stopping power!
In Gears 1, snipers and shotty rollers alike felt secure in standing out in the open like bloody idiots, and their idiocy was rewarded because no matter how much lancer bolt I put in them, they kept coming without doubt. In Gears 2, bullets stop morons dead in their tracks, leaving them victim to a bullet sandwich. This essentially means the game can now be played as Cliffy intended: as a cover based shooter.
The new weapons, as well as the changes to old weapons, manage to make things a lot more interesting while keeping with the Gears aesthetic. Chainsaw duels make it so two chainsaw wielding opponents no longer have to rely on fate to decide a winner. The gorgon pistol is a submachine gun that fires short bursts that all but down opponents on active reloads. And of course, there is the shotty. Oh how we loathed the shotty in gears 1! Capable of getting insta-gibs when shooting at someone?s small toe, inexplicably the best weapon for headshots, and lethal for rollers. Fortunately, Gears 2 nerfs the shotty slightly, but not enough to make it obsolete. It no longer seems to lower the chainsaw unless fired at point blank and the stopping power makes it useless for up front mad rushes.
And of course, you?ll just love the mulcher and mortar.
Meanwhile, the single-player campaign has evolved from the standard ?Stop. Shoot guys. Proceed. Repeat? formula. There is a lot of variety in what the game expects of you. Who wants to ride a Brumak, a reaver, a giant moving drill platform, all broken up by killing a giant city sinking worm from the inside?
Yep. You do it in gears.
Graphics & design
The world of Gears of war 2 continues the franchise?s staple amazing world. COG cities are ruined Utopias; European styled paradises desolated by war. They are inhabited by some truly inspired character models, ranging from quasi-pagan Locust priests to techno-fascist military commandos. Meanwhile, the locust Hollow is a horrifying wonderland of carnage and darkness, a true descent into a literal hell.
This of course, is simply from a design perspective. The true story is still soldiers versus mole-people.
The real graphical improvement this time around is the massive scale battles that inhabit the single player campaign. Literally dozens of locust swarm the screen at one time, along with legions of Brumaks, Corpsers, Reavers, and other creatures of the Hollow.
Multi-player
Gears 1?s multiplayer was a largely frustrating affair. Though many things can be blamed for this, it was primarily due to the fact that the Gears of War player base can kindly be described as ?rude? and unkindly described as ?a bunch of shit dribbling fucktards?.
Gears of war 2 deals with the flaws of Gears 1 adequately. There is no more host advantage, meaning that this time around, I can actually shoot what I?m aiming at as opposed to having to shoot where my opponent might be and hope my bullets will run into him for an unfriendly chat.
Oh, and I can finally hit things with a Sniper Rifle, something that Gears 1 seemed to think wasn?t a big priority.
This time around, we?re getting more options for our online outings. No more do I have to choose between the ?Once killed and Im out? tripe of Execution/Warzone and the ?Boring my socks off? BS of Annex (and Assassination, when people decided to actually waste time on it). The New modes are a welcomed change of pace and fit wonderfully into the Gears Palette. From ?Wingman? to ?horde?, there is a variety of choices for old and new fans alike.
Guardian is based partially on Assassination, but with a slight twist. Teams have infinite respawns as long as their leader is alive. This means there is some strategy involved in picking your targets: none of this ?Kill em all? malarkey, you have to take out the head first and pick the body apart bit by terrified bit.
King of the Hill is like a revamped version of Annex in which two teams fight over a weapon location. The difference is that as long as your team is holding a position, none of their teammates get to respawn. This means that breaking your own capture at key moments is essential to victory.
The most lauded new game type would be Horde, in which a team of five holds back waves of locust. Why this wasn?t in the first game, I can only wonder because it fits perfectly into the Gears franchise.
Perhaps my favorite of the new modes is ?Submission? which, to my dismay, is not an BDSM based mode. Think of ?Submission? as a variant of Capture the Flag. Instead of ?flag? however, lets say ?shotgun wielding vagabond who doesn?t particularly like the look of your ugly COG/Locust face? and instead of ?Capture?, lets say ?Shoot and beat into submission, then drag kicking and screaming all the way back to your teams capture point?.
Now I love the new modes, but even so, they can?t replace the fact that im playing them with ?Feces masticating fucktards?. Fortunately, Gears 2 offers multiplayer bots for those people who don?t like being called a pussy for not running into oncoming enemy fire. The bot AI isn?t the most dynamic or creative, but lets just say they make for much better conversation than their human counterparts.
Presentation & conclusion
Gears of war 2 is an excellent game, yet there are some issues. While Host Advantage has been dealt with, we?re often met by his obnoxious single player cousin ?Long ass load times?. Load times often go past the 15 second mark, a detriment to a game where you want to be back into the action as fast as you can. Meanwhile, the Matchmaking system is unforgivably slow, often leaving you waiting for a game for five minutes only to disconnect you and restart the search after it finds something. I can understand the load times, but the problems with matchmaking severely frustrate the multiplayer experience.
Even with these flaws, Gears of War 2 is among the best games I have played all year. In fact, part of me wonders if it?s too good. It?s vastly improved the graphics, gameplay, and multiplayer of the franchise. It might be so good, that it makes Gears of War 1 obsolete. And that, I admit, is a rare phenomenon among games.
Ladies and Gentlemen: The Jonas Brothers!
Now that we have some perspective on it, let?s be Honest: Gears of War 1 was the ?worst Best game of all time?. Graphically, it was amazing, had awesome game play, a campy story and some of the non-intentionally funniest characters in a video game. None of what I just said, however, excuses the fact that multiplayer was like Orpheus walking through the underworld not willing to look back because he?s worried Eurydice is shotty-rolling right behind him.
Fortunately, we now have Gears of War 2 and Epic games lead designer/male supermodel Clifford Bleszinski the first has promised that Gears 2 fixes the troubles of the first game. I, of course, have learned not to trust the world of Male supermodels and seek to see if this is, in fact, true.
Story
I?ve never thought the story to Gears was any good. Yes, I know Cliffy?s been going on and on about how the story this time around is more emotional and epic, and we?ll be more emotionally invested in the characters. And while that may be true, no matter how I feel about Dom?s wife, it cant distract me from the fact that I?m playing a cross between a bad Vietnam war movie and an okay 1950?s sci-fi movie about mole people.
Gears of war 2 starts 6 months after the first and finds humanity (here?s the twist!) ?in a life or death struggle with a monstrous alien race?. Turns out the light-mass bomb in the first game only killed an ?assload? of Locust instead of the preferred ?ten assloads?. As a result, the Locust are back and sinking entire cities. Therefore, its up to Marcus Fenix and his Motley crew of gruff, grizzled, multi-ethnic soldiers to launch an assault against the Locust?s home of the Hollow and deliver a size 15 curb stomp to their Castrating Mother of a Queen. Meanwhile, Dom is still looking his beloved wife Maria (*sings* she reminds of the west side story), Baird still finding ways to be a lovable prick, and the Cole-train is still a ?loud black athlete?.
See? Its really not that interesting of a story. Its any movie from the 90?s starring Sylvester Stallone.
Even so, there is a campy appeal to it. The voice actors are top notch, and despite their sometimes cheesy dialogue, they do evoke a kind of kitch appeal. Just don?t go into Gears 2 expecting James Joyce with mole-people. It?s a game about shooting underground aliens and that?s what you get.
Gameplay
There isn?t a lot of change from Gears 1 game-play wise. You still take cover and shoot, still dice up locust with a chainsaw bayonet, and so on. Yet the few changes truly changed the way the game is played.
First things first: I love stopping power!
In Gears 1, snipers and shotty rollers alike felt secure in standing out in the open like bloody idiots, and their idiocy was rewarded because no matter how much lancer bolt I put in them, they kept coming without doubt. In Gears 2, bullets stop morons dead in their tracks, leaving them victim to a bullet sandwich. This essentially means the game can now be played as Cliffy intended: as a cover based shooter.
The new weapons, as well as the changes to old weapons, manage to make things a lot more interesting while keeping with the Gears aesthetic. Chainsaw duels make it so two chainsaw wielding opponents no longer have to rely on fate to decide a winner. The gorgon pistol is a submachine gun that fires short bursts that all but down opponents on active reloads. And of course, there is the shotty. Oh how we loathed the shotty in gears 1! Capable of getting insta-gibs when shooting at someone?s small toe, inexplicably the best weapon for headshots, and lethal for rollers. Fortunately, Gears 2 nerfs the shotty slightly, but not enough to make it obsolete. It no longer seems to lower the chainsaw unless fired at point blank and the stopping power makes it useless for up front mad rushes.
And of course, you?ll just love the mulcher and mortar.
Meanwhile, the single-player campaign has evolved from the standard ?Stop. Shoot guys. Proceed. Repeat? formula. There is a lot of variety in what the game expects of you. Who wants to ride a Brumak, a reaver, a giant moving drill platform, all broken up by killing a giant city sinking worm from the inside?
Yep. You do it in gears.
Graphics & design
The world of Gears of war 2 continues the franchise?s staple amazing world. COG cities are ruined Utopias; European styled paradises desolated by war. They are inhabited by some truly inspired character models, ranging from quasi-pagan Locust priests to techno-fascist military commandos. Meanwhile, the locust Hollow is a horrifying wonderland of carnage and darkness, a true descent into a literal hell.
This of course, is simply from a design perspective. The true story is still soldiers versus mole-people.
The real graphical improvement this time around is the massive scale battles that inhabit the single player campaign. Literally dozens of locust swarm the screen at one time, along with legions of Brumaks, Corpsers, Reavers, and other creatures of the Hollow.
Multi-player
Gears 1?s multiplayer was a largely frustrating affair. Though many things can be blamed for this, it was primarily due to the fact that the Gears of War player base can kindly be described as ?rude? and unkindly described as ?a bunch of shit dribbling fucktards?.
Gears of war 2 deals with the flaws of Gears 1 adequately. There is no more host advantage, meaning that this time around, I can actually shoot what I?m aiming at as opposed to having to shoot where my opponent might be and hope my bullets will run into him for an unfriendly chat.
Oh, and I can finally hit things with a Sniper Rifle, something that Gears 1 seemed to think wasn?t a big priority.
This time around, we?re getting more options for our online outings. No more do I have to choose between the ?Once killed and Im out? tripe of Execution/Warzone and the ?Boring my socks off? BS of Annex (and Assassination, when people decided to actually waste time on it). The New modes are a welcomed change of pace and fit wonderfully into the Gears Palette. From ?Wingman? to ?horde?, there is a variety of choices for old and new fans alike.
Guardian is based partially on Assassination, but with a slight twist. Teams have infinite respawns as long as their leader is alive. This means there is some strategy involved in picking your targets: none of this ?Kill em all? malarkey, you have to take out the head first and pick the body apart bit by terrified bit.
King of the Hill is like a revamped version of Annex in which two teams fight over a weapon location. The difference is that as long as your team is holding a position, none of their teammates get to respawn. This means that breaking your own capture at key moments is essential to victory.
The most lauded new game type would be Horde, in which a team of five holds back waves of locust. Why this wasn?t in the first game, I can only wonder because it fits perfectly into the Gears franchise.
Perhaps my favorite of the new modes is ?Submission? which, to my dismay, is not an BDSM based mode. Think of ?Submission? as a variant of Capture the Flag. Instead of ?flag? however, lets say ?shotgun wielding vagabond who doesn?t particularly like the look of your ugly COG/Locust face? and instead of ?Capture?, lets say ?Shoot and beat into submission, then drag kicking and screaming all the way back to your teams capture point?.
Now I love the new modes, but even so, they can?t replace the fact that im playing them with ?Feces masticating fucktards?. Fortunately, Gears 2 offers multiplayer bots for those people who don?t like being called a pussy for not running into oncoming enemy fire. The bot AI isn?t the most dynamic or creative, but lets just say they make for much better conversation than their human counterparts.
Presentation & conclusion
Gears of war 2 is an excellent game, yet there are some issues. While Host Advantage has been dealt with, we?re often met by his obnoxious single player cousin ?Long ass load times?. Load times often go past the 15 second mark, a detriment to a game where you want to be back into the action as fast as you can. Meanwhile, the Matchmaking system is unforgivably slow, often leaving you waiting for a game for five minutes only to disconnect you and restart the search after it finds something. I can understand the load times, but the problems with matchmaking severely frustrate the multiplayer experience.
Even with these flaws, Gears of War 2 is among the best games I have played all year. In fact, part of me wonders if it?s too good. It?s vastly improved the graphics, gameplay, and multiplayer of the franchise. It might be so good, that it makes Gears of War 1 obsolete. And that, I admit, is a rare phenomenon among games.
, opening picture made me laugh as well.
