Generic RPG, a Parody RP (Permanently Closed)

spartan1077

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Aug 24, 2010
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Misa looked around excitedly.
Finally a real town!
She resisted the urge to jump up and down in enjoyment for a while but finally succumbed to the urge. As she stopped, she rushed ahead into the city, looking at the various buildings and villagers.
I wonder what they have for sale!
Misa finally found a sign which read "Armor and Clothes-All your covering needs!". She hurriedly stepped in to look for something to buy.
 

Xero Scythe

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Aug 7, 2009
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Jackrum puffed his cigar and looked around. "Heat village, huh? At least we're not in the desert. These guys are allies of the Solarii's, but they shouldn't recognize me. I hope." He looked around, then double-checked his stats. He grinned. "Well, I'm set for this dungeon." He chuckled. From being born in Glacia, his ice protection was maxed. From his coat and weapons, his flame protection wasn't too bad either. Still, an ice weapon would be nice here. Most of his weapons were geared towards human enemies- and while fire-based opponents would still be injured by explosions, he always loved that sound that indicated a perfect elemental match.

Jackrum walked into a store with a sword and shield on it. "A picture tells a thousand words." He chuckled. The weapon store was annexed to the Armor shop, like they always were. Jackrum saw Misa inside and decided to ask the question that had been on his mind since he met her. "Hey, Misa. One question: Where the hell do you keep your gold on you? You have about as much clothing on you as a pet frost wolf."
 

Anarchemitis

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Dec 23, 2007
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Skullivan noticed various members of the group parting company. He would've made an indication for a time and place for a rendevous, but stopped in thinking it would be the place of the Chosen One to make such leadership decisions, and also everyone had already gone. He shrugged, negating worries in favor of enjoying the scenery as he could. The shale bamboo huts that constituted the buildings looked fairly unstable but resembled constructs quite sturdy, seeing as two of the bigger buildings were more than three stories tall. Many were decorated with clouded rubies or other orangish gems, if not a lit torch.
He wandered into the General Store, inhabited by a relatively fat jolly looking member of the tribe.
"Day-good, customa. May I helpin' you?" queried the man. He looked like a person who just as much enjoyed cooking for a party as much as he enjoyed eating for a party.
"What would you recommended in terms of replacing a primary weapon?" said Skullivan, holding up his veteran pan. The shopkeep rubbed his plump chin in consideration, much in the way one might grasp a pineapple barehanded. He then raised a finger, shaking it in eagerness as he said
"Oho ho ho, I tink I might have just de thing!" With the dexterity of a penguin he quickly waddled over to a wall containing all sorts of practical appliances and hardware. He picked up what appeared to be a large steel cylinder probably over a foot in diameter and nearly two feet long, attached to a dark wooden pole not much longer than the steel part.
"Dis is de HAMMAWACK tree-tousand. I hear dey have solid craftsmanship, good grip and high bonkability." he handed it to Skullivan. Skullivan felt he should have been surprised at the dextrous lightweight nature of the hammer larger than his head, he was holding quite easily with one hand.
"You look like a blunt attack guy, so I thought thad be de best for you."
Skillivan admired the clean steel gleam in the Hammawack 3000. It felt like it was humming with eager kinetic thrust, longing to bash in a belligerent skull.
"I don't have any gold, how about a trade for it?" said Skullivan. The shopkeep's expression changed from enjoyment to savvy curiosity. Skullivan banked on the shopkeep having a nominal amount of skill with food, so he opened his inventory.

> Attack
> Magic
> Use Item
> Flee

Choose SubMenu
> Items
> Tools
> Conjure
> Shop

Choose Shop

>Buy
>Sell
>Store
>Withdraw
>Trade
>Cancel

Choose Item
>Ultra Spicy Soup (4/5)
>Vanilla Wafer x4
>Rare Wine "Delio Trilo Port Vintage #2" Full (2/2)
>Super-Duper Potion
>Rare Cheese "Aged Oldtermanni" (1/2)

Skullivan procured the bottle. It seemed to musically resonate with light that was cast upon it, emenating a seductive maroon color, the cork adorned with a small layer of dust giving sage notation to its age. The shopkeep took the bottle, holding it up to the light and peering through it to see the color. He then extracted a monacle from one of his pockets and examined the wax stamp placed on the side of the bottle's label. He stood, pondering for a moment.
"Es good. Rare Wine for Hammer. Agree?"
Code:
[Yes/No]
"Fair trade. I'll take it."said Skullivan. A small green puff of $ looking symbols appeared between them, Skullivan suddenly feeling far less alien, holding the hammer. The Shopkeep waddled off with the bottle of Port, then came back with the smile he had on earlier.
"Anyting else?" he asked, cheery as a cherry.
"No, I think that will be all. Thank you." said Skullivan.
"Thank you! Good luck!" the shopkeep said, as Skullivan left.
 

spartan1077

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Aug 24, 2010
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Misa looked over at Jackrum and shrugged.
"The money just comes out of nowhere" she replied, looking at some of the armor displays.
Why is there so much protection? Can't anyone look sexy and be protected?
She started to walk around the store again, looking at more of the armor. She went onto her tip-toes and looked over the shelf to Jackrum.
"Hey Jackrum, which of these armors would look best on me" she asked.
 

XThecommander

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May 1, 2010
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Seiphetia walked into a nearby bookstore, browsing through the books, and taking one off the shelf, dusting the front of, and seeing in large black print.
Guide to Magical Fire
"Very nice, and it's only 2 gold! What luck, what fortune."
She noticed a nearby book keeper drop a book that was exactly the same, but she left it behind.
"The same thing, but free... I'll take it, but this guide has some strange languages in it, these languages usually are here to keep secrets locked away, and usually can get removed, or a person can suddenly learn to read them if they become a certain level."
She said, not noticing she was talking to herself in a quiet voice, and walking over, and taking the book.

Now... To the armor shop, I need to buy some nice robe, or something, despite the fact that the dress magically changes to the same dress i'm wearing when I equip it...
She shrugged, and walked out of the library, she had removed the crown, and put the candle away.
I wonder if I should get into summoning... But these would be minor summons, stuff that would act as helpers for carrying stuff.
She yawned, looking through her bag, and checking that she still had the basic summoning book that she had got from a random man who talked crazy things.
Here it is, the person that gave this to me was explaining something about buttons, and stuff...
 

Xero Scythe

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Aug 7, 2009
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Jackrum walked over to the armor store and looked at their wares. He then looked at Misa's hopeful face. He sighed before blowing the cigar smoke out his nose, making him look like an ancient dragon. "Girl, you are asking this to a man who has been in the military since he could grow stubble on his chin. What looks best to me is whatever stops a man from stickin' a sword in yer stomach. If I was you, I'd get the leather over there, since it has the best fire resistance. Who knows? Maybe if yer lucky, Freeze has a leather fetish." Jackrum rose an eyebrow at Misa's expression. "I've been 'round the block a few times, Misa. I've seen the way you've been eyeing him." 

Jackrum smiled as he blew more smoke towards the ceiling, this time the conventional way. "Don't worry, I won't tell. But when we move on to the plains and what not, at least try some actual armor? There are some spells to change the appearance of clothing, you know. Oh, and stay away from that Finny guy. I don't trust thieves much, on account of what they gen'rally do, but he's just annoying. On the other hand, I ain't gonna stop ya. It's yer choice- My job's just to make sure we all get out of this in one piece."
 

spartan1077

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Aug 24, 2010
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Misa blanked out halfway through Jackrum's speech,
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah
She started mindlessly looking around at the stores as Jackrum stopped. Her eyes widened. She found what she was looking for. She rushed over it and pulled it off the shelf.
"I need this!" she shouted, looking down at the clothes. It was pink, frilly lingerie. She smiled until she ran into the change room. As she slipped off her original clothes, a note fell onto the ground. She bent down to pick it up and read it over.
Free drinks!
She hurriedly dressed into her new armor and saw it fit even better than her old clothes(And made her more...gratifying). She hurried out of the change room, yelling to the cashier before she raced out.
"Put it on Jackrum's tab"
 

spartan1077

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Aug 24, 2010
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Misa arrived outside and looked around, before forgetting where the taverns were.
Maybe the note will say
She reached into her bra, and saw that she had forgotten it and the note back in the change room. Shrugging she walked to the nearest villager and asked for directions. Back on her way, she marched up to the tavern and stepped inside, being greeted by a strong smell of alcohol(or a substitute of it) and noisy men.
There's no place like home
She smiled to herself before swaying inside.
 

Xero Scythe

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Jackrum sighed. "She only listened to half of that, didn't she?" He sighed before dropping the gold on the table. "And get me a receipt fer that, will ya?" Jackrum shook his head as he took the slip of paper and stuffed it into his coat. "She is gonna work fer those, I can tell ya that!" Jackrum thought. "Well, let's hope she learns to listen when she gets burned. With any luck, that ridiculous... I can't even call it clothing, but maybe it'll give a DEX bonus."

Jackrum wandered back into the weapons store as a small charm caught his eye. He held up the small snowflake charm and waved at the store owner. "Yo! Mate, mind tellin' me what this is?" The store owner automatically replied, "It is a weapon charm. Using it will change the element of your currently assigned weapon. They are reusable as well as interchangeable." All this was said in a strange monotone. Jackrum grinned. "I'll take two." He slammed the gold down on the table and clipped the two charms on both of his weapons. Explosia developed an icy sheen, while Hades turned the color of diamond and had 3 small icicles hanging from the barrel that could not be broken. They cost a pretty penny, but mobey was of little concern to Jackrum. He often wondered how to get rid of it. Jackrum walked out of the store and looked around. "Wonder what else this town's got before we go?" Jackrum blew a perfect smoke ring before setting out on the town.
 

Anarchemitis

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Dec 23, 2007
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Somehow I think I have a rough idea at who might be the first to die in the event of an emergency. That, or become this RP's first dynamic character [http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/DynamicCharacter].
 

XThecommander

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May 1, 2010
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Seiphetia walked past into the store, just as Jackrum left.
I wonder what they have here, maybe I can add stuff to my weapon.
She sighed, and took out the crown she had gotten from the rat king, it was impressive, and she had removed a large diamond from it, but this diamond was enchanted.
"Hey shop keep, what happens if I equip this diamond?"
The shop keeper looked over, and examined it, before placing it back in her hand.
"Very rare thing you have here, it will mostly make your ice attacks like very beautiful, but it will also give you the ability to use blizzard, an ice attack that can freeze all enemies, and give them a great amount of damage, but that skill is for very high levels."
She yawned, feeling a bit bored by his speech.
"Anything else?"
"Yes, it also has the ability to spread ice attacks, which means you will be able to hit all enemies with one ice spell, but it will lessen the damage, depending on the enemy number.'
"Example?"
"If you encountered two snakes your damage would be halved, but it only goes to that, it rarely goes to one third, unless you face a large group of enemies, otherwise, it will only go to that level."
I see...
She thought, as she equiped the diamond to her weapon, and watched the moon become a silver, and blue color, and the moon start to expand.
"Anything else?"
"As a matter o fact, yes there is, but it will cost you quite a penny..."
He said, holding his hand out.
"Fine..."
She payed him 100 gold, and watched him take her staff, and swing it diagnoally, and it suddenly become a scythe.
"what th-"
"That is its power, however, this forces you to only use ice attacks, and such in a battle, but if you master the weapon, you will be able to do many things."
He said, handing her the sword, and watching as it changed back to a staff.
"Neat... Wait, it costs a good amount of mana!"
"one tenth isn't that bad... Also, be sure that you can use the weapon, otherwise it is worthless, that sword won't be much use to a mage, but the scythe will. Also, that gem has mor-"
She walked out of the shop, and switched the weapon to a sword again.
"This is aws-"
She was cut off as she fell to the ground, suddenly knowing why you held a sword with two hands.
 

Lost In The Void

When in doubt, curl up and cry
Aug 27, 2008
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Sorry for my absence, stretched myself a bit thin with RPs, updates and finals, last one is done tomorrow so I should be way more regular in posting now

So it was just another typical village, another typical place where nothing was going on; it wasn't enough that they were on a suicidal trip with this "Chosen One," but it was also a really boring trip. Jamie didn't know what to do anymore; couldn't run, the Narrator had made sure of that, couldn't hide, was sure to be found and couldn't fight since Jamie was obviously the weakest of them all; Jamie wasn't a mage, an archer, a warrior or hero, Jamie was just Jamie, emotional, useless and completely hopeless.

Jamie decided to go to the bar, there were a few coins in the purse that could go towards a couple drinks. Jamie moped into the bar.

Code:
Engage [b]Bartender[/b]

Select Drink [b]Fruit Juice[/b]

Loses Coins

Drink?

[[b]y[/b]/n]

Drank
This is how Jamie planned on spending the next couple hours, there was also the hope that the rest of the team would leave well enough alone and would allow Jamie to sulk alone.
 

MiMireille

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Apr 28, 2010
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Merle's first stop was the library archives at the center of town. Since so few Player Characters wanted to be White Magic classes, she had quickly learned after going on so many adventures that if a place didn't have a church or similar institution, their Holy Magic texts, if there were any, were generally squirreled away where few people would think to look.

But find them she certainly did, and they of course were thematically appropriate. After about an hour of poring (D'ohoho) over hand-scrawled text, asking the archivist once or twice for clarification on outdated jargon, Merle reemerged into town three spells wiser.
Ice Body could grant a single target at a time an elemental defense against heat and fire for up to two minutes. Hopefully they wouldn't ALL need to cross a large pool of lava at the same time.
Misted Deluge would call forth a ring of cold geysers of water around their party, halving the effect of low-damage, multi-target attacks from enemies. Useful for getting through hordes of fire imps!
And finally, the ol' standard Ice Beam! Although the opposing element to fire, this speed-nullifying status effect only worked on Fire-type enemies one time in four, because, well, Fire melts Ice. [a href=http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/ElementalRockPaperScissors]Elemental Rock Paper Scissors[/a] sure can be self-contradictory sometimes!

Her next stop was a haberdasher. A lady can never have too many magically enchanted and element-appropriately-themed hats. She emerged victorious from the shop, headdress now crowned with a ring of finely-stitched snowflakes. +20 to heat resistance!
 

Lambi

Yuki-Onna
Oct 20, 2009
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As everyone went their way, the sun began to set a little, coloring the sky and clouds pink and orange, and the lands a bit yellow with a green shade. The nearby volcano kept it's color of black, though.

Almost everyone had started doing what they needed to do, except Xandus and Lala. The script would wait a bit until those two had done their necessary shopping and such.
 

Fury Is Me.

Oh, Tasty Tasty.
Feb 20, 2010
25,443
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Finny walked into the tavern, only one minute later than he said he would be, his pockets STUFFED with cash. He looked a bit better than usual, although, it was kind of sad, since he was looking for a scanky witch in a bar, but, whatever. After a quick scan of the room, he spotted Misa at one of the tables, already there. He smiled to her and looked at the Bartender. "Two glasses of your finest beer, good man!" He said, quickly recieving his drinks from the Bartender without another words except, "10 gold". Finny payed the man and then slowly walked over to the seat across from Misa. "Hello, Misa!" He said, in a cheery tone, handing her her drink.
 

spartan1077

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Aug 24, 2010
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Misa smiled at Finny before quickly downing the drink. She licked her lips and slammed it on the table.
"Ahh. I needed one of those." she said cheerfully before lifting her hand and making a signal to the bartender for another drink.
On his tab too
She smiled at him.
"Nice clothes"