- Dec 24, 2008
Life sucks, get over it.Arrers said:
On the other hand, I get hugged a lot as well and I know for sure it's not pity. To be more precise, it's an easy and inconspicuous (sp?) way to grab my butt
Life sucks, get over it.Arrers said:
I've known girls to do this when they really weren't interested in the guy, aka, the pity thing.Larenxis said:A better sign of a girl liking you is if they ditch other people or something else they're interested in just to be with you.
I can only speak from my own experiences, but it's not helpful in the least. Let's pretend for a moment that he isn't being dicked around. Call me crazy, but I've only rarely been manipulated or had mind-games played with me. I think a lot of what we see as mind games is really just when what we interpret (or even hope for) isn't reflected in reality. If she was never showing him more than a normal level of affection, but he came to the wrong conclusion (as he seems to have) it's not a mind game, it's just being wrong.Meta Like That said:It's not paranoia, it's genuine curiosity. Girls play mind games, this is no secret. As long as he doesn't put his finger in her face, asking "WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!", he'll get that point across. Last thing a guy needs is to get dicked around by girls.Seldon2639 said:No matter her reason, asking won't help you. If she likes you as a friend, you display your paranoia for all to see (something best saved for when you're really good friends with someone, 'cause then they might actually try to reassure you, but only if there's an emotional resonance). If she really is pitying you, not only to you get the "well, I like to be nice to people" thing, but you also look either presumptuous, or paranoid, neither of which are good.
Remember Jonathan Coulton at times like these:
"What if the best that I can be just isn't good enough?
Isn't it better not to know?"
Then again, it is a helpful life experience.
What conclusion? The reason he wants to ask is so he can get closure. As other people have said, "normal" levels of affection are subjective.Seldon2639 said:I can only speak from my own experiences, but it's not helpful in the least. Let's pretend for a moment that he isn't being dicked around. Call me crazy, but I've only rarely been manipulated or had mind-games played with me. I think a lot of what we see as mind games is really just when what we interpret (or even hope for) isn't reflected in reality. If she was never showing him more than a normal level of affection, but he came to the wrong conclusion (as he seems to have) it's not a mind game, it's just being wrong.
So, let's pretend she isn't actively trying to jerk him around. What does he gain from the asking? If she already likes him, all it could do is push her away. If she doesn't like him, all he learns is that she doesn't like him. He won't learn anything about girls in general (or, if he does, it'll be an example of a posteriori logic gone wrong). I've known a lot of girls, and the only solid conclusion I've arrived at is that no two have similar diagnostic criteria for whether they "like" someone (unless they're very obvious about it).
Its called STFU, because as soon as you open your mouth, you have lost the game.Meta Like That said:I think you're forgetting how powerful the male libido is at that stage... and that he has 3 more years of high school BS. Acting natural around girls is harder than it sounds, but it can be done.
Maybe if life fucked him over once, he would learn to just give life the finger, and go about his life for himself, not the fears society places in him.hungoverbear said:my opinion, dont worry about it, the more you dwell on it the worse your gonna feel.
and to you I raise my glass. Your right, i mean these kids (if your younger than 18 to me you are still a kid) seem to dwell too much about what the opposite sex thinks of them, and not enough on lifes REAL issues.Bulletinmybrain said: