GLaDOS Powers Up for Portal 2, Steals Potato Chips

John Funk

U.N. Owen Was Him?
Dec 20, 2005
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GLaDOS Powers Up for Portal 2, Steals Potato Chips

Valve's Portal 2 ARG is almost at an end, and potato chips are disappearing at an alarming rate. And just what is the Half-Life G-Man doing here?

Gamers worldwide tried their damnedest to unlock Portal 2 early [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/109286-Valve-ARG-Gives-Fans-Power-to-Release-Portal-2-Early], but alas, it seems like our efforts will come to naught, leaving everyone with nothing but a bunch of excellent indie titles obtained at a rather impressive discount. A shame, really.

So, that's it. We're not getting Portal 2 early after all, so -

- but wait, what's this? While the countdown on the Aperture Science page [http://www.aperturescience.com/glados%40home/] is still proceeding as planned, there's a second countdown - of the "pepper and sea salt" variety. The potato chips that gamers were racking up over the weekend (seen below the bars) are now vanishing, presumably because GLaDOS' reboot process left her wanting something crunchy.

As of the exact moment I type this, there are 420,761 potato chips remaining. Since they seem to be disappearing at a bit over 10/second, if we convert that into minutes and hours, then the potato chips will reach zero around 10 or 11 PM EST - faster than the regular countdown, but only by a few hours (or my math could be totally off).

To make matters more interesting, the folks at isn't the first time [http://valvearg.com/wiki/Valve_ARG_Wiki] that Valve has tied Portal 2 to the long-dormant Half-Life series, teasing fans desperate for a single scrap of Gordon Freeman.

What does this mean? I haven't the foggiest, but it proves one thing: Valve is damn good at screwing with everybody. Magnificent bastards.

(Edit: Apparently they're potatoes and not potato chips. I dunno, they still look like chips to me. Oh man, I could totally go for some potato chips right now.)

(RPS [http://www.rockpapershotgun.com/2011/04/18/potano-glados-is-stealing-our-spuds/])

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Beryl77

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Mar 26, 2010
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Soon We'll be able to play Valve's first singleplayer game in over three years!
Unfortunately, the speed-up won't change anything because it will still finish in the middle of the night for my timezone and after that I'll have to go to school until 6 o'clock. But at least I know that as soon as I'm home I'll be able to play it.
 

gigastar

Insert one-liner here.
Sep 13, 2010
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Doesnt Valve just love to troll us with speculation.

Also with 13 hours left i dont find it likely that the remaining ~16-ish% of computations needed for the early launch can be met.
 

Mahorfeus

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Feb 21, 2011
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Don't you all see?! Portal 2 IS Episode 3! I knew it all along! Ha ha! Ah! Ahhh.... *cries hysterically*
 

gyro2death

The Chosen
Mar 5, 2009
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Mahorfeus said:
Don't you see! Portal 2 IS Episode 3! I knew it all along! Ha ha! Ah! Ahhh.... *cries hysterically*
If your right I'm going to kiss you, if not they'll be poison....
 

samsonguy920

New member
Mar 24, 2009
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Actually it is going to be released early. By almost a day. People are going to be staying up real late or getting up real early to get their mitts on when this goes live.
Work tonight is going to be so long for me...
 

Kevonovitch

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Apr 15, 2009
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eh, looks like 7h earlier than schedualed launch :) i dunno bout John Funk, but 7h is still considere'd "early" to me. (no offence dude, u make awsome vids XD)

(yeah i know it's 4h 30min-ish atm ahead, but seriously, atleast 2 more games done before the counter is done? thats what? 6h 30m-7h roughly? :p)
 

Proverbial Jon

Not evil, just mildly malevolent
Nov 10, 2009
2,093
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PAGEToap44 said:
Aaaaargh..I'm confused. When do us Brits get the game then?
Not until Thursday for a Europe release apparently :(

OT: Oh Valve, you crafty, crafty bastards. How I love thee so!
 

V TheSystem V

New member
Sep 11, 2009
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Proverbial Jon said:
PAGEToap44 said:
Aaaaargh..I'm confused. When do us Brits get the game then?
Not until Thursday for a Europe release apparently :(

OT: Oh Valve, you crafty, crafty bastards. How I love thee so!
Game.co.uk sent off my copy today. In the past, I have received preordered games the day after they have told me the game has been dispatched, but I'm not holding out to receive it tomorrow. More likely Wednesday or the actual release date. If I get it early I will be overjoyed.
 

Jabberwock xeno

New member
Oct 30, 2009
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What.

4chan spent the past 3 day finding ARG stuff after everybody else stopped once the glados site came up.

They sent what we found to the ARG site, they said it was nothing, and now they take the credit.

They'll be pissed.
 

Dr. Paine

New member
Oct 26, 2009
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1. There is no confirmation that anything in Portal 2 will tie to Episode 3, or Half Life in general. -wishes people would stop thinking that 'something related to a ship = EPISODE 3!'- The link is perfectly possible, but don't get upset if you're shown to be totally wrong.

2. The G-man thing is just a trick of the page. Even with the overlay, I can barely figure out what I'm supposed to be looking at.


And it's just potatoes. There are no chips.

That all said: I'm excited to see where this is going, even if I can't pick up my copy until tomorrow night.
 

Proverbial Jon

Not evil, just mildly malevolent
Nov 10, 2009
2,093
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V TheSystem V said:
Proverbial Jon said:
PAGEToap44 said:
Aaaaargh..I'm confused. When do us Brits get the game then?
Not until Thursday for a Europe release apparently :(

OT: Oh Valve, you crafty, crafty bastards. How I love thee so!
Game.co.uk sent off my copy today. In the past, I have received preordered games the day after they have told me the game has been dispatched, but I'm not holding out to receive it tomorrow. More likely Wednesday or the actual release date. If I get it early I will be overjoyed.
I went with Play.com because I usually get new releases the day before... so here's hoping for a Wednesday delivery too! *crosses EVERYTHING*

Otherwise I'll be staring at Steam for the next 2 days trying to hold back...