Gordon Freeman is addicted to morphine.

[Sgt Doom]

The Hero of Kvatch was arrested earlier today for attempting to bribe an Imperial Legion soldier with sexual favours.

 

[Twilight_guy]

The medic's medigun dispenses morphine as well.
Link is actually a girl (I mean come on, look at what he wears).
The Tank in L4D just wants to give you a big hug, but then you shot at him and he gets mad and then there's punching and fire... so much fire.
Mario is actually a horrible plumber, that's why you never see him plumb in a game.
Samus is secretly in love with Ness.
Gordon Freeman doesn't actually need to wear glasses, they're fake glasses just to make him look nerdy.

 

[scotth266]

I like this thread.

I'm mildly confused by that statement...

That having been said: Big Daddies are pedophiles in armor suits, Glados is a voyuer, and the kids from Persona 3 are homicidal nutjobs pretending to be suicidal nutjobs.

 

[bowserboy26578]

Kratos' balls are eternally blue from not wearing pants.

Not wearing any pants in Greece actually helps him keep fertile. That's why our balls are where they are to keep them cooler then the rest of our body. To hot balls and your sperm won't be as effective.

and you don't realize the mountain with the blizzard that he scaled in the second game. if anything they're frozen

 

[NoDamnNames]

Pyramid head from Silent Hill has a terrible neck cramp

Wesker gets hot and bothered by wearing Disco pants

Yoshi has a horrible case of hemorrhoids from laying so many consecutive eggs

We all know what the medicinal "Herbs" are in Resident evil.

The comedian is actually John Winchester OMG I SAID IT

 

[curlycrouton]

You can hear a Roman General's victory cry from space (Rome: Total War).

The Grand Champion of the Arena/Hero of Kvatch/Saviour of the Imperial City is not above being called "criminal scum", and having a lowly guard hope that "he rots in jail".

 

[MercenaryCanary]

Bill is hogging all the damned Pills! Seriously man, how many do you need!?

Bill secretly needs those pills for birth control. He needs a lot.

 

[Zand88]

Louis from L4D used to be a woman.

That grudge Wesker has against Chris; he broke his heart.

 

[stormcaller]

The Lich King has verbal diarroeha(sp?)

Just click on him as a DK and you will see what I mean.

 

[LCP]

The dispencer is a spy

 

[TheBluesader]

Hitman: Number 47 only works so hard because some day he'd really like to be Number 46.
Soul Calibur: Ivy looks mad all the time because of the back pain from a total lack of "support."
Mortal Kombat: Raiden never takes off his hat because he's bald and has the Chinese characters for "I Heart Shao Kahn" tattooed on the back of his head. Yes, sake was involved.
Diablo: This whole thing started as a really stupid bet. Funny story...
Portal: The truth is that the cake is actually a trifle.

 

[Anarchemitis]

And, what makes you say Freeman is addicted to morphine?

*Beep Beep Beep* Morphine Administered

Extra fun with a million Poison headcrabs hanging around.
And grenades.

 

[impactsickness]

Leutenant Haile (didnt spell either of those right) from Resistance is a mute

 

[pmega]

hitman 47 cuts himself

 

[Mstrswrd]

The Prince from the PoP(2008) actually wears a muscle suit.

 

[Deathsong17]

Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. Now they're just the Islands.

 

[sargebw86]

Harman Smith (killer7) is gonna be a father, whether he's aware of it or not...

 

[GoldenRaz]

Leutenant Haile (didnt spell either of those right) from Resistance is a mute

I think he actually spoke twice in the first game.

Zoe is just as afraid of her male teammates as she is of the zombie horde.
Kratos is just having a bad hairday.
The Lone Wanderer finds it odd that the entire Capital Wasteland refuse to use his/her name.
The Grand Champion of the Arena/Hero of Kvatch/Saviour of the Imperial City has the same problem.
Chris Redfield can't run and shoot at the same time since he never did stretch after training and therefore might strain a muscle.