Green Lantern: The Fanboy Free Breakdown

GiantRaven

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ccdohl said:
Hal is meant to be a bit more serious. He isn't a comedic character
Wat.

Words like 'serious' and 'character' are not words that can be used to describe Hal Jordan.
 

Rad Party God

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Feb 23, 2010
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I wasn't really expecting this movie to "not suck", especially if DC / Warner are trying to find their new cash cow since Harry Potter is pretty much done. And glowing veins will never be as classy as a bat-nipple.

 

ItsAPaul

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One of these years critics will realize that bashing movies everyone liked is a bad business plan. I thought it was good, though Sinestro being a better character than Hal Jordan was kinda weird.
 

SideburnsPuppy

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One problem I had with the film was Hal's whole "you have to be chosen" exchange with Hammond.

We've seen this before: the villain has the hero's girl all telekinetically frozed up and shit, and has managed to get the hero's powers to be useless in order to save her. Now in control of the ring, Hammond blasts a hole in the wall behind him (something he could have done with his old powers, mind, raising the question of why getting the ring was such a big deal for him in the first place), and then turns the device on Hal. On his previous promise not to harm Hal or Carol, Hammond has this to say: "I lied."

But, before hitting Hal, Hammond's green energy bolt freezes in midair. "I lied, too," Hal says, as Hammond realizes that he's completely screwed at this point. Even without the source of his powers, the hero still has control over them over the morally inferior villain, probably due to the power of love or friendship or something. "You see, the way it works is..." This is it. Hal is about to lay the the movie's main message and theme on the villain, showing us where the two similar men's paths diverged. This is what separates the good from the evil in this universe, and it's what the movie wants us to take away and apply in our own lives.

"...you have to be chosen."

Pardon? This is the big moral summation of the film? Granted, Hal gets a much better one later on when he's with the Guardians before heading off to fight Parallax, but this is a major point in the film's plot, and we're expecting some sort of moral closure before Hal finishes off the primary villain. Especially since Hammond is so sympathetic (his dad's "doer" speech hits extremely hard to anybody who's felt that they don't live up to somebody's expectations), we're expecting some last "this is where you went wrong" speech, but all we get is "You have to be chosen."

So remember, kids, that no matter how hard you try or how many achievements you make, everybody (and that includes your father, your peers, the love of your life, and space aliens) will always, always love the handsome, cocky, thrill-loving "doer" more than they love you, because he's just naturally better. No getting around it, he was just born better.
 

boondoggler23

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Feb 14, 2010
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LOL green lantern was eh.... Im not a fan of comics at all but i am a big movie fan. as far as super heroe movies it was average. :/ nothing beat zebraman
 

Ramzal

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I'd like to bring up two problems I have with your review. But I will admit I liked the movie, but I didn't love it. So I agree with you on some aspects. But two others... not so much.

"Go nowhere characters."

I slightly agree with you on the aspect that the family could have been fleshed out slightly more. A return in the later part of the film would have been nice. But I do not agree with you on the point of them simply saying back to what we've already learned being pointless. Granted, that we have already seen what Hal's problem is, and hey. His family knows too. But it makes sense for his brother to give him the tounge lashing.

What made that scene believable is that his brother told Hal what he already knew and that he needs to get his act together. If that were not in the film, I'd be concerned with the fact that Hal's brother just doesn't care about him. Hal seemed to have a habit of avoiding people who'd tell him the truth of what's wrong with him. When they'd bring up what's wrong, he'd either run away or cause others to walk away because he's not facing his problem.

But again, I kinda agree that they could of had more face time.

"Nonsense Plotting."

Okay now this I disagree with you completely. Hal's ex was implied to be the best of their best as Hal is. Even being the daughter of the high muckity-mucks, she would be used in the test due to her skill, and her family would have nothing to do with that. It would make less sense to get someone who is not as talented as her take part in the test. Also I'm not sure how much you know about jet/airplane stalling....but it doesn't seem like much.

When a jet or airplane stalls, it's because of an error in the systems, because of the altitude, or because there is something wrong with the hardware. If the aircraft stalls because of the first two reasons, getting out of that situation is simple. All the pilot has to do is shut down all systems and reboot. At most,this process takes 20 seconds to 2 minutes (2 minutes IF there is something desperately wrong)

An airplane that falls from typical altitudes it takes about 15 minutes reach the ground (which is enough time to make bacon and eggs while falling). This means that there is no way someone would have to kill themselves to beat out those planes. Stall your aircraft as well as the A.I controlled crafts and then reboot and get out of there. His move was logical but the problems were that A) Hollywood overdrama queens made it look like it takes much less time to crash. B) He has a personal trauma that held back his proformance. Which can make 15 minutes seem like 10 seconds to the person who is suffering from it.

But I mainly blame that on anyone in hollywood. But it would make for dull movies if they showed the reality of it. Much like using a car for cover while under fire from small arms. You'll have more holes in you than a female freshman college student that got lost in France.
 

eels05

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Jun 11, 2009
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Maybe the dvd release will have the directors cut.
Not really sure I'll waste my time on this either way.
 

MovieBob

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SideburnsPuppy said:
One problem I had with the film was Hal's whole "you have to be chosen" exchange with Hammond.

We've seen this before: the villain has the hero's girl all telekinetically frozed up and shit, and has managed to get the hero's powers to be useless in order to save her. Now in control of the ring, Hammond blasts a hole in the wall behind him (something he could have done with his old powers, mind, raising the question of why getting the ring was such a big deal for him in the first place), and then turns the device on Hal. On his previous promise not to harm Hal or Carol, Hammond has this to say: "I lied."

But, before hitting Hal, Hammond's green energy bolt freezes in midair. "I lied, too," Hal says, as Hammond realizes that he's completely screwed at this point. Even without the source of his powers, the hero still has control over them over the morally inferior villain, probably due to the power of love or friendship or something. "You see, the way it works is..." This is it. Hal is about to lay the the movie's main message and theme on the villain, showing us where the two similar men's paths diverged. This is what separates the good from the evil in this universe, and it's what the movie wants us to take away and apply in our own lives.

"...you have to be chosen."

Pardon? This is the big moral summation of the film? Granted, Hal gets a much better one later on when he's with the Guardians before heading off to fight Parallax, but this is a major point in the film's plot, and we're expecting some sort of moral closure before Hal finishes off the primary villain. Especially since Hammond is so sympathetic (his dad's "doer" speech hits extremely hard to anybody who's felt that they don't live up to somebody's expectations), we're expecting some last "this is where you went wrong" speech, but all we get is "You have to be chosen."

So remember, kids, that no matter how hard you try or how many achievements you make, everybody (and that includes your father, your peers, the love of your life, and space aliens) will always, always love the handsome, cocky, thrill-loving "doer" more than they love you, because he's just naturally better. No getting around it, he was just born better.
THIS. This so very, very much.
 

Siberian Relic

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Jan 15, 2010
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I don't regret paying to see it, and I'll be paying to see it again. While I agree with Hector's character arc, I disagree with both the pacing and the CGI.

Honestly, after watching Bob's rant, I don't think the movie can be faulted for any of those things. I'm almost certain WB had their hands all over this, since this was their first project after The Dark Knight. Warner Bros. probably laid down the pressure and did so with a vengeance. Director. Actors. Pacing. Even the score. Anyone who's familiar with James Newton Howard's discography will tell you the man is known for making magic in musical form.

A 2.5 hour running time, properly written and with a near identical approach to the CGI, and this movie would've soared.
 

Kennian

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Apr 20, 2009
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Hitchmeister said:
Okay, I've already said that this movie wasn't as bad as Bob made it out to be. Mind you, I'm not saying it's a great movie, but an acceptable inoffensive summer diversion that doesn't bear too much thought.

I can see from this analysis, and I can agree that every point he makes here is valid -- Green Lantern is an example of flawed movie making -- but it doesn't excuse Bob from going all-in with the fan-boy nerd-rage in his initial review.
sooooo it's a tragic wreckage on a technical level, AND terribly done cannon wise....and his rage was undesrved? im confuzzled...
 

Gindil

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Blindrooster said:
It's funny, I like Green Lantern but I could tell from the preview it would be bad. Granted I'll still have to watch it to form a realistic opinion. I'm really not looking forward to doing that though...
Godspeed good citizen. When you get to the Inferno, tell Dante he left the oven on.

I just won't see this movie after seeing MB pan it so badly. If anything he was one pretty excited to see it until his expectations hit a brick wall.
 

Captainguy42

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May 20, 2009
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Grahav said:
Depressive lantern

I lol'd. This does bring up an important question. Ryan Reynolds was slated to play Deadpool in a feature length film that got delayed for Green Lantern. So I have a question for anyone whose seen it, should I trust him? Is he worthy to wear the crimson and black after this? Or should I begin buying tubs of Ben and Jerry's for the post film depression cycle?
 

Penguin_Factory

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From the sounds of it, Green Lantern seems similar to The Golden Compass- both are hugely expensive adaptations of works with sizeable fanbases, but which are nowhere near as popular as the franchises they're obviously supposed to be competing against.

Both of them had unrealistic expectations placed on them- Golden Compass was supposed to be the next Lord of The Rings even though that was never going to happen, and of course we've all heard the BS about Green Lantern being the next Star Wars.

From what the director of TGC has said, and from Movie bob's description, it sounds like this expectation led the respective studios of both films to spend way too much money, only to realise their mistake and cut the film to shreds in an attempt to play it safe.

And of course, both movies were supposed to launch franchises only to bomb hilariously (to be fair, The Golden Compass did much worse than Green Lantern).

The only difference here is that I've always suspected The Golden Compass could have been a good movie, whereas I'm not willing to be so generous with Green Lantern.
 

Grahav

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Mar 13, 2009
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Captainguy42 said:
Grahav said:
Depressive lantern

I lol'd. This does bring up an important question. Ryan Reynolds was slated to play Deadpool in a feature length film that got delayed for Green Lantern. So I have a question for anyone whose seen it, should I trust him? Is he worthy to wear the crimson and black after this? Or should I begin buying tubs of Ben and Jerry's for the post film depression cycle?
I think more attention should be given to the director than the actors. Who's going to direct Deadpools's movie?
 

Aureliano

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It seems to me that even with Bob's fanboy glasses 'off' we still have a rather glaring type of prejudice at work here. Imagine that this movie actually cost $20 million to make and was otherwise identical except with significantly worse CGI, costumes replacing the computer-generated Green Lantern Corps. and a cheaper Ryan Reynolds knock-off.

Would Bob still hate it? Totally possible. But even if this nearly identical movie got as wide a release into aa many theaters, I cannot imagine MovieBob hating that movie nearly as venomously as the one that got released. It would literally just be another bad movie. Maybe a B- or so. But as a huge blockbuster it apparently rates an F+.

Politically, sure, it's totally worse that a hundred+ million dollar movie in this genre failed than a cheap one. But that's not part of a purely technical analysis of the film.

For comparison purposes: think back to Batman Forever. Not Batman & Robin, but Batman Forever. Bad movie? Yes. Worse than Green Lantern? Maybe. But it did really well at the box office that year and allowed for one more somehow worse movie in the franchise that actually did the series in. So...I guess what I'm saying is that if this movie was either cheaper or a success, I doubt this article would exist.
 

Mister Linton

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I finally saw this movie today, and while I agree with many of the points Bob makes in this article, I still don't feel the movie deserves the vitriolic hate he is spewing at it.

Oh, and all the whining about it needs to end Bob. We get it, you were disappointed, let it go.
 

Alex Dzurik

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Jun 9, 2011
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Thank you, I now have ammo to use when my friends tell me I only dislike the movie because its "not the same as the comic."