Has parenting changed in the past decade?

[Parasondox]

Morning Escapist

This is something small and quick (insert sex joke here). It's a question not much a rant, mostly your thoughts on modern day parenting compared to 10 or 20 years ago. Has parenting changed and how much by exactly? Dramatically or just only a few minor cases. Reason why I bring this up is because there is now a weird thing, that I have mostly noticed in the UK, about how some new parents would try to be best friends with their child hoping for more of a closer bond. Lesser rules and more freedom compared to maybe what they didn't have growing up with their parents. Giving them a piece of technology more earlier in there development, eg. a tablet at 3 and a phone at 8 years old.

It's an open question really. I was raised with a highly strict mother but a dad who was more laid back and liberal. They aren't together so I never had the whole "both parents living at home together" lifestyle and when I was in secondary school, when I told my class mates my parents weren't together they were shocked because their parents were still married or living together.

Once again the question is open cause I would really like to know your thoughts on if parenting has changed either dramatically in the past decade or so or just been the same with a few changes.

 

[JoJo]

Parenting styles have always changed with the times, of course we won't know for decades whether those changes are for the better or worse. I disagree that children these days have less rules and more freedom though, a generation ago it was far more accepted that children would be free to ride their bike off somewhere or go hang out with their friends, nowadays particularly younger kids tend to be kept indoors for fear of being hit by a car or kidnapped etc.

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

Parenting styles have always changed with the times, of course we won't know for decades whether those changes are for the better or worse. I disagree that children these days have less rules and more freedom though, a generation ago it was far more accepted that children would be free to ride their bike off somewhere or go hang out with their friends, nowadays particularly younger kids tend to be kept indoors for fear of being hit by a car or kidnapped etc.

It was more than a generation ago -- I'm a part of that first crop of millennials hitting adulthood, and I always marvelled at just how much freedom the kids in cartoons and TV shows (written by people who grew up in the 50's, 60's, and 70's, with the 80's kids not being established enough to have jobs that cool yet) had. Any parents of my generation who gave their kids that much freedom to run around unsupervised would have been in jail for child neglect. The new parents of today are the ones who were raised by the parents who did what you described. It's why I laugh when I see people posting pictures that say something to the effect of "Like and share if you're a 90's kid who doesn't have a kid." Those of us who were born in 1990 are starting to hit the age where the one who /isn't/ married and thinking about, if not actually raising kids is the odd one out. Heck, two generations back, someone my age probably would have had all that out of the way five years back, it's delayed now because of the economy.

 

[Keoul]

Well obviously parenting has changed.
A decade ago parents would discipline their kids with canes and spanking. Obviously this doesn't apply for all parents but that was the most accepted and common method of raising your kid, forcing your opinion on them, molding them to your image.

These days I feel they're a lot more laid back in the discipline are but more wary about their child's safety. Back in the day people trusted their community, in my area we had "Yellow Safety Houses" or something along those lines, which were homes with a yellow plate on the front that meant "Good people who you can trust to help you live here", they were people in the community that you could trust and turn to if something was wrong, we were taught this in school and I remember a few ads shown on tv. Now walking through the same neighborhood 10 years later I can't find a single one. Peeps would much rather just lock their kids away from the world these days.

 

[Dirge Eterna]

As a parent I can say that yes things have changed. When I was growing up I was alone by myself after school every day from the age of 8 on. I would get home and do my homework and watch TV or play games until my family got home, usually about 3 hours later. Now I can't leave my son home alone until he is 12 legally. I was spanked and punished very harshly. Everything from having a belt used on me to a telephone wire. I have never spanked my 6 year old yet, he knows when we are upset with him and at most we put him on time out but at his age having toys taken away works the best. I was grounded as a kid and sent to my room in addition to being spanked, it didn't work because I enjoyed reading more than watching TV and they would never take away books from me. I had a lot of freedom as a child and however I was smart enough not to get into trouble or get hurt very much. Now if I let my son play too far away from me at the park with his friends I get glared at by the other parents and I had someone call the police once because I wasn't right on top of him all the time. I am not an overly worried parent who thinks a predator lurks behind every tree, I keep an eye on him but I won't smother him. I encourage him to go off by himself and explore in a safe way. Many parents I have seen want to keep their kids within 10 steps away at all time. In my sons 1st grade class there are kids who have a breakdown every day because they cant cope with being away from mom or dad for a few hours, its sad.

I taught my son how to use a computer at 2 and he learned fast to the point now that he can go online to nickelodeon or other kids sites by himself. He has his own log on for our PC and tablet so that we can set what he can access and how long he can play. With technology advancing the way it is he will need to be able to use any piece of tech or learn it quickly. There are many things that I see with other kids that piss me off but all I can do is try to help him to be a better person than them.

 

[lechat]

80's kid checking in

i remember crawling around on the back parcel shelf and boot/wagon part of my parent's car while we done 130Km/h down the road and 4 adults chain smoked.

i remember getting a choice of which stick was going to beat the shit out of me and hoping i didn't pick one that was a little too easy on the ass checks or else my parents would pick the worst one for me.

from grade 2 i crossed 4 lanes of main road to get to school. crossing guard? lights? zebra crossing? nope. you better fucking hope your kids were good at frogger or else have a spare.

everyone in my street knew the local pedophile. cops and parents called him a dirty old man and we were advised to stay away but as far as most of the kids were concerned as long as you could ignore the dick he liked to have hanging out the front of his pants he was a good source of free icecreams!!

EDIT: if you were being a brat in the supermarket a random parent could just reach across and smack you.... seriously if you were being shitty that would be acceptable to most parents

don't really have any complaints about my childhood. kinda Darwinian but anyone who managed to live through that sorta shit is usually better off for it.

 

[sanquin]

I think the way parents raise kids has changed a little. Parents where I come from have become more soft with their kids. Discipline doesn't seem to exist any more unless the kid does something so bad they would have been jailed had they been an adult. 20 years back it was still common and accepted to discipline your child with a spanking, or grounding them and locking them up in their bedroom for the weekend. (without TV/gameboy/computer/whatever.) These days I don't see that happening any more.

And to be honest, I think the way parents are raising their kids now is worse than how they did it back when I was a kid. In my teen years teens were okay enough. Sure, a bit of rebellion here and there. Some assholes too. But these days I see a lot more assholes in the teen group. Binge drinking, demanding the newest gadgets at a very young age, playing outside hardly happening any more, more 13~15 year olds dressing like they're 20, more teens that don't take anyone else into consideration when in public by chatting loudly, blasting music, you name it.

I realize that times change, and the generation before me probably thought the same about me and my generation. So I dont make a scene of it when I get bothered by kids/teens. But it still annoys me how each successive generation seems to lose some values and morals and just plain old decency towards their fellow man.

 

[Juste Goose]

It's MUCH less socially acceptable to spank/hit kids, but I'm okay with that.

There seems to be a lot more permissive parents these days, but it's entirely possible that they're the only ones that stick out in my mind because their spoiled lil' bastards are screaming in the checkout line, while all the good parents have well-behaved children that I don't even notice.

I think it's kinda funny seeing the contrast of parenting styles. Once, I was at Wegmans (high-end grocery store for white suburbanites.) A little boy started grabbing candy and throwing them in the cart. His mom was all "Aiden, stop. Aiden. Aiden, stop it. Aiden? Aiden! Aiden, stop," but within 30 seconds of him screaming about how badly he wanted it, she caved and bought him a giant bag of it. Later, at Walmart, I saw a little girl run away from her dad's cart to get candy off the shelves. Her dad shot a stern glance at her, she put the candy back, and went back to him without saying a word.

 

[Jamieson 90]

Parenting has definitely changed from say the early 90's to the early 2000's; as a boy growing up in the 90's I remember being outdoors pretty much every day in the summer, nor did my parents need to know where I was all the time so long as I was reasonably nearby. So I would say this is a big change between the two decades as parents are now way more cautious about letting their kids out to play, so yes kids definitely have less freedom and more restrictions in that sense.

Another big change is technology; I didn't get my first phone until I was 12, and we didn't have the internet or digital T.V until I was 13, whereas now it's not uncommon to see kids as young as 4-5 with Nintendo DS's and older ones with tablets or even smart phones.

Additionally it seems parents have less control on how their kids mature/develop with the rise of social media, by that I mean kids are growing up way faster now than they did in the past.

 

[rasputin0009]

The only big change that parents have to deal with today compared to 20 years ago is the prominence of the internet. 10 years ago? Almost no difference.

 

[Owyn_Merrilin]

Wow, has this thread gone in a predictable direction. Take it away, Socrates!

The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.

Some things never change.

 

[Parasondox]

Wow, has this thread gone in a predictable direction. Take it away, Socrates!

The children now love luxury; they have bad manners, contempt for authority; they show disrespect for elders and love chatter in place of exercise. Children are now tyrants, not the servants of their households. They no longer rise when elders enter the room. They contradict their parents, chatter before company, gobble up dainties at the table, cross their legs, and tyrannize their teachers.

Some things never change.

Perfectly put.

 

[Tahaneira]

The only real change I can think of is that when a child grows up, they swear to never make the same mistakes their parents made raising them. The new parents then go on to make a whole nother category of mistakes, causing their children to swear that when they have children etc.