So, this won't be the feel-good comedy of the year?
Man, horror movies these last few years have sucked, haven't they? Even as a horror movie fan myself, I struggle to find much of anything good past 2000. I mean, sure, you get stuff like The Ring, or 1408. But for every one of those, you get something like the Final Destination sequels, more black comedies than horror. Or worse, something like Alone in the Dark. So, Hatchet came out in 2006. Did Hatchet manage to beat the odds, or is it just another forgettable horror film, like so many before and after it?The movie Hatchet takes place in New Orleans during Mardi Gras. While most of is would be partying and checking out the abundance of bare female chests, Ben (Joel "Avatar" Moore) is not enjoying himself, mostly due to the fact that he is getting over a break-up. Wanting to go on a ghost tour of the bayou, he manages to convince one of his friends Marcus (Deon "Scream 3" Richmond) to join him. After his first attempt to find a guide (played by Tony "Candyman" Todd) fails in an actually pretty funny manner, they find a guide, who has several other people also signed up, and take the tour. But they are not alone in the bayou...
The plot is pretty standard horror movie fare. Its twin purposes are to get the characters together and from point A to point B, as well as provide background for the killer, who is played by Kane Hodder. But do the characters make up for the weak plot, or do they stand out more than most horror movie characters?
Heads up!
Let's get one thing straight. These are typical horror movie characters. You have the smart guy, the final girl, the ditz, the black friend, and so on. However, the actors actually pull off the characters well. Sure, they are stereotypes. But thanks to the somewhat decent acting on hand, they are more than just the stereotypes. They are actual people. It's a refreshing change from "Final guy, final girl, cardboard cutout, killer" of horror movies lately. Speaking of the killer, that was a rather interesting idea. Basically, rather than just have a guy standing in a bayou killing random people, like you'd expect, the killer is basically a spectre. Due to his disfigurement, Victor Crowley was in his cabin when some kids threw Molotov cocktails to draw him out (smart move, dumbasses). Naturally, the cabin catches fire. While the adult child tries to break down the door from the inside, his father Mr. Crowley (who has nothing going on with his head) uses a hatchet to break it down from outside. IT...doesn't go well. Kid dies of a hatchet to the head, father dies of heartbreak. Kid comes back, and there you have it. So, is this a horror movie with little bloodshed like the original Halloween, or is it closer to the remake of Halloween?
Well...shit.
This movie is quite brutal. You will see severed limbs like no tomorrow, blood splattering everywhere, and being a spectre, the killer can take a hell of a lot of punishment as well. I remember watching this movie and thinking "Damn, how did this get in theaters?" Then I remembered that I was watching the unrated version and felt like a dumbass. Point is, this is not a nice movie. It is cruel and mean-spirited.
So, overall, what do I think of this movie, and will you like it? Well, look up at the name of the actor playing the killer. Does it ring a bell? Your answer will determine if you will like this movie. It is basically an 80's slasher film done with modern technology. Some of the CGI is noticeable, but overall, if you are a fan of horror movies, you should like this one just fine. Oh, and the ending is a hell of a shock. That's all I'll say on that.
