having double the problems

[Marcosn]

Well i recently saw the thread about someones lack of motivation and i have a very similar problem but i haven't posted there because i also have a second problem, i keep getting paranoid and i feel like i am unable to trust many people that i feel i should always be able to.

Before i go more into the paranoia i feel like my lack of motivation is beginning to become a massive problem for both my school work and also my social life (or lack there-of)
I want to get into medical and possibly be a dentist, i get A's and A*'s is my science and maths but i find it nearly impossible to feel motivated enough to work in any other subjects and this effects my grades as it leads to me not doing coursework (I've basically failed geography because of this).

Now for the second problem, i have started becoming more paranoid towards people that are closest towards me and this is causing a severe lack of trust to them and this is causing my friendships to just breakdown. About 6 months ago i had an extreme fall out with my best friend who i loved more than anyone in my family but then i got paranoid about them and i burst out at them and we had decided it was best to no longer be friends atall.
Luckily i'm now friends with her again but i feel like i am losing my trust in her again for the same reasons.

Both of these have started since about 2 years ago when my father passed away (well roughly that time) so it could be connected but i am not sure so that is why i am coming to you escapist, can you recommend any ways for me to motivate myself to work harder and any ways i can stop being so paranoid about people?

If i have left out anything that you think needs to be known to help atall then please feel free to point it out. Extreme thanks to anyone that can come up with anything even slightly helpful.

 

[ultrachicken]

Let me ask you a question: Do you want to die ignorant? If the answer is no, then you should start doing your school work.

Nobody can help you deal with your paranoia directed at your friend unless you share some specifics.

 

[Marcosn]

Let me ask you a question: Do you want to die ignorant? If the answer is no, then you should start doing your school work.

Nobody can help you deal with your paranoia directed at your friend unless you share some specifics.

To answer your 1st question i don't want to be ignorant, i consider myself rather intelligent and i could do the work but im just missing that urge to and the motivation.
I am still doing fairly well in subjects that don't focus around coursework and i do any work needed to do in school, its just a problem outside of school.

Also what type of specifics need to be shared, without the specific questions i cant really answer specifically. (well thats a bit awkward...)

 

[SeriousSquirrel]

I get the motivation problem, I love my English class but sleep through my Geometry class. The problem is that most education systems are so cookie-cutter formatted that you aren't allowed to devote your time strictly to subjects you love. All I can say is keep kicking ass in the classes you love and try to keep decent enough grades in your other classes (Even a low B shouldn't be too hard to get, despite a lack of motivation)


I kind of get the Paranoia thing too. I have a very select and small group of friends who I speak to about anything past surface level stuff. When I say small, I mean 1-2 maybe even 3 people. Why? Because I lack trust in most people with subjects that hold any weight. Sadly for both of us, I have no advice on this subject.

 

[holy_secret]

You need to ask yourself what's worth to have in your life, and what's not. If you can't appreciate the chances bestowed upon you, and the love you have with your best friend, I don't think you deserve them.

You're lacking motivation and are being paranoid at the same time?
I suggest that you ask yourself how you want your future to look like. If you want to die alone and loveless, you should keep doing what you're doing. If you actually want to do something with your life, just suck it up and go through it.

I lack trust in people as well, so I know what you are talking about. I also have a small group of friends, my best being the absolute highest and beloved person in my life.
If you want motivation, just read my post "The end of the road". I'm sure you don't want to get to the end of that road.
If you have this person in your life, you should protect what you have with all you have. You have to doubt yourself once again; Are my theories or my best friend the most important thing for me?
Once you know the answer, you can start walking forwards.

Just tell me if there's anything you want to know. A PM, an answer here or whatever. I'm in the mood for helping the helpless.

Oh, and btw. You don't need 1000 facebook friends to be happy. Even one friend is enough to make you happy. I don't believe you have "less" friends because of your behavior. These are the ones who decided you are more lovable than irritating. If they can accept your paranoia and other quirks, you should give them the benefit of the doubt.

 

[ultrachicken]

Let me ask you a question: Do you want to die ignorant? If the answer is no, then you should start doing your school work.

Nobody can help you deal with your paranoia directed at your friend unless you share some specifics.

To answer your 1st question i don't want to be ignorant, i consider myself rather intelligent and i could do the work but im just missing that urge to and the motivation.
I am still doing fairly well in subjects that don't focus around coursework and i do any work needed to do in school, its just a problem outside of school.

Also what type of specifics need to be shared, without the specific questions i cant really answer specifically. (well thats a bit awkward...)

One problem here is complacency. You already consider yourself intelligent, so you feel no need to work to learn more. Let me share something: everyone thinks they're intelligent. Thinking that you're intelligent does not automatically mean you are, it just means you have hubris. If you want to live up to your mind's perception of itself, then you should study more.

What do you suspect your friend of? Do you think she has some ulterior, sinister motives? Tell us about her personality and why you're suspicious of her.

 

[Marcosn]

What do you suspect your friend of? Do you think she has some ulterior, sinister motives? Tell us about her personality and why you're suspicious of her.

I constantly suspect her of what could be described as trying to cancel the friendship and and attempting to avoid me and it usually ends up with me thinking that she wants to turn everyone against me (usually because at this point we have argued about it).
This can stem from something as simple as her saying that she's busy or even being with someone but a recent problem is that her laptop has recently started playing up so it logs in to her accounts on things so i automatically think that she is attempting to avoid me etc.

She is a nice person , we have been friends for nearly 5 years now , she has recently gained a few more friends so she is busy more often than before and sometime she can be a bit stuck up (but everyone is at least a bit) but overall she is a good person who is trustworthy and she has assured em that she would never lie to me but its just something i don't believe. She is quite tom-boyish but i think thats all i can describe properly.
I think i'm more suspicious of her because of her increase of friends and the problem with her laptop but i can't be certain of it :/ hope this helps atall

 

[ultrachicken]

What do you suspect your friend of? Do you think she has some ulterior, sinister motives? Tell us about her personality and why you're suspicious of her.

I constantly suspect her of what could be described as trying to cancel the friendship and and attempting to avoid me and it usually ends up with me thinking that she wants to turn everyone against me (usually because at this point we have argued about it).
This can stem from something as simple as her saying that she's busy or even being with someone but a recent problem is that her laptop has recently started playing up so it logs in to her accounts on things so i automatically think that she is attempting to avoid me etc.

She is a nice person , we have been friends for nearly 5 years now , she has recently gained a few more friends so she is busy more often than before and sometime she can be a bit stuck up (but everyone is at least a bit) but overall she is a good person who is trustworthy and she has assured em that she would never lie to me but its just something i don't believe. She is quite tom-boyish but i think thats all i can describe properly.
I think i'm more suspicious of her because of her increase of friends and the problem with her laptop but i can't be certain of it :/ hope this helps atall

I think that after your falling out with her, it should be expected that she'll be less comfortable around you for a while. That wound is going to take time to heal. I don't know how much time you two spend together, but if it's a lot, then it should be expected that she might want some space once in a while.

From what you've told me, I severely doubt that she's trying to turn everyone against you, but regardless, breaking off the friendship in a preemptive strike won't do anything.

 

[Marcosn]

I think that after your falling out with her, it should be expected that she'll be less comfortable around you for a while. That wound is going to take time to heal. I don't know how much time you two spend together, but if it's a lot, then it should be expected that she might want some space once in a while.

From what you've told me, I severely doubt that she's trying to turn everyone against you, but regardless, breaking off the friendship in a preemptive strike won't do anything.

I understand where you're coming from but it doesn't seem that way, we used to hang out alot but its become less and less now and one of the reasons that we fell out was because I needed some time away from her (haha, seems like it should have been the opposite)but i do doubt for now that she is trying to turn people against me, there are just times such as if we do argue then it seems to be alot more then but i agree, i'm not going to try and break anything off and i'll just see how it goes.
Thanks for the help anyways. (internet hi5)

 

[ultrachicken]

I think that after your falling out with her, it should be expected that she'll be less comfortable around you for a while. That wound is going to take time to heal. I don't know how much time you two spend together, but if it's a lot, then it should be expected that she might want some space once in a while.

From what you've told me, I severely doubt that she's trying to turn everyone against you, but regardless, breaking off the friendship in a preemptive strike won't do anything.

I understand where you're coming from but it doesn't seem that way, we used to hang out alot but its become less and less now and one of the reasons that we fell out was because I needed some time away from her (haha, seems like it should have been the opposite)but i do doubt for now that she is trying to turn people against me, there are just times such as if we do argue then it seems to be alot more then but i agree, i'm not going to try and break anything off and i'll just see how it goes.
Thanks for the help anyways.

Spoiler

Fixed that for you. *High fives screen*