How did you leave the nest?

[Sol_HSA]

I've seen several cases recently where a person is unhappy and the solution would be to move away from their parents. In most cases the person is way over 18, but has some incentives to stay with their parents, mostly the lack of income. Still, humans aren't built to live with their parents forever, and tensions rise.

So I figured a thread where people tell their experiences of how they successfully left the nest might be helpful for some.

I've talked about this with a bunch of people; Surprisingly many moved to another city to study (to a govt backed apartment or one paid by their parents), got a job and/or a girl/boyfriend, and things progressed naturally from there.

In Israel, people go through their long military service and more often than not end up getting married while doing so.

For myself, I got a job while still living with my parents, and then got a job abroad for a while. When I got back, I moved in with my parents for a while, and my brother nudged me to move away. This was pretty easy considering I had been working for about three years at that point (and about one year abroad), so I had no financial problems nor any illusions about the fact that everything costs money =).

I moved in with one friend of mine for a few months, but we got evicted since the owners of the apartment decided to sell instead of continuing to rent it (they could not have asked for better tenants; we weren't party animals by any definition of the term, and always paid our rent in time), at which point I moved to live alone. (..which didn't last for long, but that's already outside the scope of this thread).

So.. how did you leave the nest?

 

[OneCatch]

I live in the UK. Bit of a weird one for me. Left for college at 18 for a few years then ended up moving back in with mother (albeit paying some rent) while looking for work afterwards. Moved out properly shortly after 23rd birthday after getting a job and rebuilding my savings to a semi-reasonable level. Turning 24 this year, have now built up most of a deposit for a mortgage and am looking for a house to buy.

Generally, I don't really get the whole 'parental angst' thing.
Obviously family can be irritating, but if it's *that* bad then it's worth cutting back, saving, and moving out. If it's ok, then moving back home can be a good way of gradually becoming financially stable. For me, moving back in with a parent was a great chance for me to get some money together, and it helped them out with a bit of extra income from rent.
It's just whatever works for you, and this attitude that "living with parents is really saaaad" can get fucked. With mortgages and rents as they are, it's often the only way to get a financial foothold.

 

[Padwolf]

Like OneCatch I live in the UK. I moved out last year. I had been unhappy at home for quite a while. A very long series of bad events occurred and I wanted to be there for my family through it all but I also wanted to move out. I just never had the means to do so on my own. Then after another very long story about a bad relationship, I met my boyfriend. Sadly I was living in Kent at the time (the southest area of england!) and he was living in the Midlands, right bang in the middle of the UK. While we visited each other a couple of times, we once went an entire month with our only contact being skype. It was sad. Neither of us wanted to go through that again, so he asked me to move in with him. Many would say that's too soon in the relationship for it (We had only been together for 3 months at that point) I thought about it a lot, and sadly that thinking was my downfall as I missed out on a few job opportunities around here because of my reluctance. But it was a serious decision and one I didn't want to make in haste. So I officially moved in August last year.

It's been great to have moved out from my parents. I miss them a lot and I miss my pets more than anything. Living with your parents is not a bad thing at all, it's not sad at all. It gives you the time to think about what you really want and how you are going to get there. I'm glad I moved out, it got me out of the rut I was in and it gave me my independence, but at the same time I was ready to move out so it was a smooth transition.

The only downside is that because of the way this house is I'm living in my boyfriend's bedroom pretty much, and since we are both struggling to find jobs, we are with eachother all hours of the day. That of course can try both our patience and we both have times where we get snappy just because we want our own space and privacy, it's understandable.

 

[Eclipse Dragon]

I was still living at home and was comfortable, but I knew I couldn't stay there forever, I'd feel guilty. I think after putting up with four of us, they've earned some personal time (I still visit).

I have a friend who was living alone and was hurting financially because of it.
One day I asked her if she wanted to split an apartment, she agreed and that's what we've been doing for about a year and a half now. Neither one of us are very social, so I don't really see the circumstances changing anytime soon.

 

[Batou667]

Surprisingly many moved to another city to study (to a govt backed apartment or one paid by their parents), got a job and/or a girl/boyfriend, and things progressed naturally from there.

*raises hand*

Even if that hadn't happened, I wouldn't have wanted to return home. A lot of my friends who moved out of their parents places (or who didn't move back in after university) went into shared accommodation with other graduates and young professionals. Living away from home can be fairly affordable when rent and bills are split.

 

[Sol_HSA]

Thanks for all your answers. I (still) find this a rather interesting topic, as it appears to be one experience that differs from one person to another.