I frowned at the build up and after the gun went off, I gasped and needed a minute to think about what I'd just seen: the death of a human being on camera, complete with colour and sound.
I've dealt with death before, cleaned up after it (not because I'd committed a crime, but because someone needs to call the police, have the body removed, and hold the ones who are screaming and weeping), and this didn't do very much beyond reminding me that, yes, death happens in all manners and all venues.
I tend to look away during horror movies, shake my head during horror games, and I've read enough crime fiction to become accustomed to the ideas around and behind death. That doesn't mean that it can't reach me though, can't tap a sense of revulsion that says, "This person was once alive, spoke to his family, dealt with the world, and now..." Content changes when it can be related to who we are and where we are in the world, so while this video didn't make me want to be violently ill or even shed a tear, it did touch a nerve that causes what I've come to recognize as the shudder that goes along with death.
Will I ever lose that shudder? Maybe. Will it be because of video games, books, movies or television? No, because those deaths aren't real. I was able to get the visceral feeling despite the delivery of this event. Even though part of me didn't want to believe it to be real, I knew it was.
Thank you for the reality check, Jim. I appreciate it.
