How do you Attack Your Computer?

[interspark]

I think we all know the feeling. You've asked your computer to carry out the simplest of tasks like scroll down or follow a link, and all of a sudden, WHAM! everything's frozen and you can almost hear its little digital voice saying "so sit there and wait BIATCH!". So what do you do? Of course, seeing as i use a laptop, actually punching the computer is not an option (which gets pretty annoying at times let me tell you) so normally i just slam my fist on the desk and shout at it, or in extreeme cases I may even punch the mouse. So what about the other escapist users?

 

[Dr. wonderful]

Bazooka socks.

That is all.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

I give it stern verbal threats then shut it down for several days.

 

[Fusoiya]

Hmmm haven't had any attacks yet, I try to keep my cool.

But I have a mate thru vent who rages the keyboard when he dies on HoN hehehe.

 

[Girl With One Eye]

I once punched my laptop out of rage and yes I broke it, luckily it was still under warranty. Still, they were wondering how I managed to break the motherboard with my "it got banged around while I was on the tube" story.

 

[Faulty Turmoil]

I shout at it Jeremy Clarkson style e.g. "WHY WONT YOU WORK!!! THIS IS STUPID!!! IT CAN'T BE DONE!!!" ect. ect.

If it gets too bad I turn my wrath to the walls.

 

[lee1287]

i try to stare it down. I normaly win.

 

[DarthFennec]

Nothing like this has ever happened to me. I run Linux ^_^

 

[Seth Smith]

I usually go into task manager and close any extra programs, but when it's totally frozen, I either wait or turn it off. I've only been angry at a computer when it's broken.

 

[Hazy]

Still, they were wondering how I managed to break the motherboard with my "it got banged around while I was on the tube" story.

"There was a bird, you see. A big bird. A falcon. Two falcons. I just so happened to leave the window open and... well... yeah."

As for me, I normally just give it a stern talking to. That'll learn 'em.

 

[SomeLameStuff]

I tap the screen if its my laptop, and slap the side of it if its my desktop.

 

[Harlemura]

One swift smack to the side.
For some reason, it actually works sometimes. This means either I have magical techno-slap powers or my computer's on the fritz.
Probably the latter, hoping it's the former.

 

[Darzen]

i unplug it,lift it up,and set it in the corner facing the wall while i yell curses at it till it cries

 

[MostlyHarmless]

I threaten to take it apart and give it to homeless people.

It works.

 

[Iznat]

My laptop is a good laptop, and does what he is told
He responds fast, never freezes, and makes me tea in the morning Keeps me entertained.

I love him. And he fears loves me.

 

[CrashBang]

This is me:
I jest, the thread just reminded me of this video and it always makes me giggle

OT: I usually just grumble angrily to myself. I know, right? I need to dial it down a few notches before I implode

 

[Brandon237]

I normally don't get angry, but when it is just too much, my control key is off first. I have a really cheap keyboard that cost about $6. It can take it. Besides, if it chooses to do squat when I CTRL + ALT + DELETE, it deserves the pain it will receive.

 

[Benefactor]

Maybe it's just wishful thinking, but whenever my laptop acts up I generally smack the bottom of it lightly a few times, and it will start working with me again.

I'm probably doing more damage to it than anything else, but it works better than my friend who tends to lose letters on his keyboard when he goes into a blind rage after a Team Fortress 2 match goes particularly sour.

 

[Enigmers]

I tap it with my knee, but not enough to move/tip it over. I don't want to break it, because it's generally an amazing machine and I love it. (There are many like it, but this one is mine.)

 

[Tyburn Cross]

I take a random spare computer part (Usually something older) and destroy it in front of my computer in the most efficient, brutal manner possible. I show the remains to my computer and glare at it significantly.

...My computer runs quite well.