How do you break up with someone?

[krazykidd]

So when you want to break off a relationship, how do you do it ? Do you have routine way to do it ?Or do you take it case by case? What do you do?

Now there are several ways people break up with someone they were dating,someways are more-or-less socially acceptable, but I am not here to judge, i am just curious.

I personally ( and i am not proud of this ) break up by text message, i know it is viewed as the cowards way to do it,but i handle emotional women rather poorly ( by emotional i don't necessarily mean crying, but also confusion or anger), so i rather not see them when i do it.But i do leave subtle hints in the week heading up to the break up, so the girl wouldn't but utterly clueless.

I came up with this topic because a friend of mine explained his methode, which i didn't believe at first, but i comfirmed it recently and was left in shock.I personally think his methode is bigger douchbaggery than mine but i might be bias. Basically what he does is, when he want's to call it of with a girl, he would sit he down and tell her he want's to have an open relationship ( meaning he wants to continue seeing her but sleep with other women, but she also would be able to ), and follows up by saying that if she doesn't agree they are going to have to break up because he doesn't want to cheat on her. Every woman he used this line on said no, thus officialising the break up. He said the reason he does this is, just in case the girl says yes(which has yet to happen ) well he gets to sleep with several women, and if she says no, well it's basically the girl that officialises the breakup making him feel less guilty.

So how do you break up with someone?

 

[Whateveralot]

Done it once. The situation offered itself. Gave her one last chance, telling her how I hated having to do what I did, but that my feelings were about to break. Watching her struggle, slipping, not working. Quickly dying off. It was a relationship of nearly 2 years and breaking up was rather nightmarish, even though I was the one to break up. A lot of ... emotions. *sigh*.

My last breakup was easier, even though she was the one to break up. She took me for granted, my feelings died, asked her what's up, she broke up with me. Fine, but messed up either way.

 

[SckizoBoy]

Anybody who enters a relationship with me is stupid, deluded or manipulating and malicious enough to deserve it.

*sigh* And he strikes again... I don't know whether to give you a hug or slap you, y'know...

OT: I've only ever done it once, and I did so by first sitting her down and talking for about half an hour about why things weren't working out. Then I broke up with her, saying words to the effect of "it's over" (though more eloquently, of course). She took it remarkably well, even without considering the hour long conversation we had subsequently. Note: we're still friends.

 

[Queen Michael]

It's only happened once to me so far.
I talked to her over the telephone.
We tried to figure out a way to make
things work between us but it seemed like they
just wouldn't work so I just told her flat
out "Look, as of right now we're breaking up."
Then followed crying, first from her, then me.

(Iambic pentameter. Wooo.)

 

[Fooz]

"it's not me, it's you"

 

[Ecliptica Wolf]

Talk to her in person, explain where and why, see if relations can be repaired. If they can't then that's life. My ex's parents were averse to us having any sort of intimate relation and they really fucked about in our lives. I put too much into it and got too little out.

For all those who say they can't handle emotional women and break up over text etc. Man the fuck up.

Just my lot

 

[Jadak]

Only have had to do it once, and awkwardly, via email. And in my defense, I was on the other side of the country at the time so doing it in person wasn't really an option anyways. But, wasn't anything fancy, just told her I didn't see it going anywhere and was calling it quits before things got more serious, that was that.

 

[drummond13]

Honestly? Your method of breaking up with a girl seems far more douchey than your friend's. At least he has the balls to actually talk face to face with the girl he's leaving.

Seriously. Text messaging? That's pathetic.

 

[LetalisK]

There's a couple ways I've done it, though none of them were planned. Once I just stopped talking to her(though we weren't even "together" and had only known each other a couple weeks, so it isn't as bad as it seems), another time I broke up with a girl by getting into a fight with another dude she was rubbing up on right in front of me, and another time I broke up with her over messenger. I've never had the whole sit down and talk break up, mostly because some event acts as a catalyst to break up the relationship. The over messenger one was the closest to it and I was "expressing concerns" over how utterly fucking horrible she acted during the date we had just had.

 

[Liberaliter]

I've never done it, but I'd do it as callously and heartlessly as possible. Anybody who enters a relationship with me is stupid, deluded or manipulating and malicious enough to deserve it.

Ahhh The Escapist, home of attention seeking misanthropes everywhere.

 

[skwirly715]

I drive my car into the nearest ravine, skip town, change my name, return three years later then drive another car into the same ravine.

 

[Magicmad5511]

I've not been in a relationship so I wouldn't know.
Also whenever I've fancied someone they have left my school.

*breaks into tears*

 

[Lord Mountbatten Reborn]

Hm, methods I have used include phone and on one occasion msn (the latter was a long distance relationship, so I'd consider it justifiable in that it's more douchey to travel all the way to someone solely to break up with them).

 

[TheLoneBeet]

I generally don't break up with people. Even if I think I should or I see the relationship coming to a close I don't have it in me. I let them break up with me so they can feel like they've won. I know "won" isn't the right word but I just prefer it if they don't feel as bad about it.

Spoiler: Why I don't do the breaking.

I did the breaking once and it broke my heart when she started crying. Despite my attempts to clarify that she shouldn't feel bad and it wasn't her fault she was in tears when our conversation ended. A classmate of mine (I did this after school because it felt wrong to drive her somewhere considering how awkward the drive home would be)even came up and told me it was the nicest breakup he'd ever heard and that I shouldn't feel bad.

 

[Spygon]

Never done it myself that is weird but i would do it face to face and explain why.If you ever cared for the person their is no excuse to not do it face to face.

 

[Flamezdudes]

I've never done it, but I'd do it as callously and heartlessly as possible. Anybody who enters a relationship with me is stupid, deluded or manipulating and malicious enough to deserve it.

Seriously... I can't get my head around you at all. I don't understand your thought pattern and why you think anyone who likes you is a horrible person. I mean, seriously... What the hell?

On topic: I've done it. To my ex girlfriend last week in fact. It was incredibly difficult. It just sort of happened in conversations after a period of time and eventually it led to happening online.

 

[OmniscientOstrich]

*sigh* And he strikes again... I don't know whether to give you a hug or slap you, y'know...

Maybe both?

OT: Given that I've never broken up with someone I'm not really sure, anytime I've turned someone down it's usually with a cold, flat no, but then again this is generally from people I don't know and thus have no emotional connection with. As for breaking up with someone, I'd like to think I'd be able to calmly talk it through with them, let them down gently whilst simultaneously asserting that it isn't working out. Then again I'd probably be predictably spineless, depserately clinging on whatever feeble hope there might be to salvage the inexorable trainwreck, too cowardly to approach or stand up to her, as my apprehensiveness only exacerbates over time as she belittles me, grinding away what little self-confidence I had to being with, leaving me too petrified to speak against her....Okay, enough whiny projection, the point being I think I've learned since then that when you know it isn't working out it's better to just end it then before it gets worse rather just repress the building tension. Just be straight with them without being petty or derogatory and just except whatever there response is.

EDIT: Hmm, seems on reflection my post might be just as bad as RAK's...oh well.

 

[emeraldrafael]

Tell them its not working out, if you want to cotinue being friends then thats fine, if not it was a pleasure knowing you and then just walk away so you dont have to hear the crying and whining.

Short, sweet, simple, to the point.

 

[Smooth Operator]

Well I always try to be civil and sit them down to talk about how our relationship is doing, but this usually quickly turns into a shouting match when they see it hasto come to an end.
Although one of them just said we havent really got anything to talk about and just quietly left, that was quite odd but probably the best break up sofar.

And be vary of people who say they never broke up with anyone, usually means they havent got the decency to tell you when things are going wrong and even if they are just about ready to shank you with a rusty spoon.