How do *YOU* create a friendship? What do you do with them?

[Delsana]

I'm curious, because the more I think about it, the more I realize that it seems everyone does things differently than others and that I never have once seen someone else become friends with someone to my knowledge, that doesn't mean I haven't seen others who are friends, I've just never seen the creation.

For me, I have to pretty much initiate all of it, never have I experienced it on someone's own initiative, but instead on my own. Those relationships usually work out, though I tend to have some bad luck in terms of who I become friends with. As for what I do, I try to strike up a conversation and if I see a way that we'd be able to do something together that we'd both enjoy, I'll ask them if they'd like to and we'll exchange numbers and what not and I usually either invite them over to just chill with a few board games, some drinks and some food and depending on if it's a short hangout or not, maybe a dinner or lunch out. These days while we're talking and getting to know each other, I'll decide what I'd offer to them as activities and what I wouldn't. I wouldn't ask everyone to go to a cigar bar after all.

I'm just curious about what everyone does to make friends and what they decide to do with them in the beginning, as I imagine it's different.

I'd appreciate some people's answers and thoughts, just curious... this is for discussion and kind of just a thread I thought would be interesting. No judgment no insults or rants or anything.

Hope to get some responses!

---

 

[hazabaza1]

...Friends?
Explain this odd concept to me, I have not yet experienced it.

 

[SillyBear]

Unzip their fly, close your eyes and...

Jokingnggggg.

I normally just talk to them. Then pop on Facebook and talk to them some more. Then chill.

I dunno, it seems very natural.

 

[Neotericity]

I don't know I suppose for most people friendship's just happen whether it be one time drinking buddy turns into two time drinking buddy so on and so forth or just basic common ground is found in something you both enjoy or you have a heated, but fun argument over some sort of topic or another. I guess these are some of my common ways of making friends, my tolerance for stupid people is pretty low however...

 

[SidingWithTheEnemy]

Depends what kind of friends you are aiming at.
False friends are the easiest ones. All you need is money and a handfull of compliments to shove around.

 

[SwimmingRock]

I just talk to people I know for whatever reason. Study, student housing, job, dance lessons. I just try talking to everybody sooner or later and then talk more to the ones I get along with. Sooner or later, you just get to know each other well and become friends. It's not so much a method as a natural progression of socializing.

As for contact outside of groups, I generally don't start that. I look kind of scary, so always wait for the other to ask me to hang out/visit/exchange contact info. Regarding activities, I'm up for most things the kind of people I get along with would do and always willing to try new things, so basically whatever the other sugggests unless I specifically object, but that hasn't come up yet.

 

[Magicmad5511]

1.Get talking.
2.Find common interests.
3.?????
4.Profit.

Really I don't know what step 3 would be.It just sort of happens.
I am also really tempted to start quoting the MLP theme song but I will resist.

 

[Togs]

All it takes is time- hang around someone for long enough and it just sort of happens.
As long as your fun to be around of course, in which case a sense of humour or a shared interest seems to be the best way, and a certain amount of courage is needed- phone them up see what their doing etc.

 

[neonsword13-ops]

With Social Links of course.

Well, you should have common likes. Likes lead to hanging out and that leads to friendship.

Case closed.

 

[Delsana]

I'm kinda surprised others don't seem to have a method so far. I find my ability to interact really relys on that method. I used to be an introvert without it.

 

[Dogstile]

Its usually a case of talking to them and being a nice person. Seriously, that's about it!

When I get to know someone better? I'll invite them to hang out at a cheap place, usually play a bit of pool or something, i save the expensive stuff for people i know i like.

 

[SidingWithTheEnemy]

[...]
Really I don't know what step 3 would be.It just sort of happens.
I am also really tempted to start quoting the MLP theme song but I will resist.

Thank you! By resisting that urge you have not sabotaged the possibility of becoming my friend, yet.

Oh, and real friends need some common ground. You don't need to like the same things but you need to know what the other is talking about (and why).

 

[CODE-D]

I dont facebook so I dont have "friends" or concerning females potential sex mates.
Seriously that seems to be all facebook is....adultfriendfinder for teens and kids.

 

[Delsana]

Its usually a case of talking to them and being a nice person. Seriously, that's about it!

When I get to know someone better? I'll invite them to hang out at a cheap place, usually play a bit of pool or something, i save the expensive stuff for people i know i like.

That makes sense, but it has never happened for me in all my life... for some reason I tend to need to start everything I encounter and have a plan and system for it. I kinda tend to go expensive first and then average once I know them... not to buy them just because that's how it tends to work.

I go overboard for birthdays of people I really like though... we're talking 300 - 400 with 4-star restaurant, wine, cigar bar with some hard to find cigars, minigolf or whatever I think they'd like, a movie, and other stuff...

I just like to do things for people...

 

[Crazy Zaul]

If they approach me about it that's their choice, if no one does neither do I.

 

[babinro]

Be myself. I'm a loner who is highly focused on my hobbies (gaming, D&D and Magic). If someone takes an interest in what I'm doing or talking about then we'll go from there. Often friends for me comes in the form of someone who will hang out and play magic or D&D.

I should note that I've never really had a close friend as you'd see in T.V. or movies. My friends are people that are willing to get together in order to enjoy an activity together. My friends have never been people who simply want to hang out and talk...or go out of their way to help each other in a bind. I've never known much of anything about my friends lives outside of our shared hobbies. We don't talk about our relationships or ambitions or life struggles.

I assume this is normal among friends in reality...but media would tell me it is quite the opposite.

 

[Delsana]

Be myself. I'm a loner who is highly focused on my hobbies (gaming, D&D and Magic). If someone takes an interest in what I'm doing or talking about then we'll go from there. Often friends for me comes in the form of someone who will hang out and play magic or D&D.

I should note that I've never really had a close friend as you'd see in T.V. or movies. My friends are people that are willing to get together in order to enjoy an activity together. My friends have never been people who simply want to hang out and talk...or go out of their way to help each other in a bind. I've never known much of anything about my friends lives outside of our shared hobbies. We don't talk about our relationships or ambitions or life struggles.

I assume this is normal among friends in reality...but media would tell me it is quite the opposite.

Christian friends are the entire opposite from my experience.

 

[loc978]

Meet someone, and if we have similar interests, discuss them. If we have schedules that don't conflict, and something in common we'd like to do... go do that. Simple as that.

As for who starts the conversation... I'll generally hop into one if someone comments on something that interests me in my hearing. I don't go out of my way to accomplish such things, though.

 

[FilipJPhry]

I don't use facebook to make friends, I use it so I can talk to people I know IRL. I make friends by just being polite and humorous. My Mi'kmaq accent makes white people interested in me for some reason. I don't mind though, it actually makes it more comfortable to be around you guys!
Funny fact: Sometimes, when someone asks me about my peculiar accent, I tell them I bit my tongue earlier in the day. Only if I'm asked after twice in one day.

 

[Delsana]

I don't use facebook to make friends, I use it so I can talk to people I know IRL. I make friends by just being polite and humorous. My Mi'kmaq accent makes white people interested in me for some reason. I don't mind though, it actually makes it more comfortable to be around you guys!
Funny fact: Sometimes, when someone asks me about my peculiar accent, I tell them I bit my tongue earlier in the day. Only if I'm asked after twice in one day.

This isn't about Facebook but "offline".