How Have You Changed With Age?

Wintermute

Elite Member
Apr 25, 2020
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Pindorama
I got married. I have two daughters now. I also exercise more now, only because I don't want to be fat. For 35 I think I'm still looking pretty good. More importantly than all this, though, I haven't listened to Blink 182 or Hoobastank in years. But now that I mentioned it...
 

SilentPony

Previously known as an alleged "Feather-Rustler"
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Apr 3, 2020
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I got married. I have two daughters now. I also exercise more now, only because I don't want to be fat. For 35 I think I'm still looking pretty good. More importantly than all this, though, I haven't listened to Blink 182 or Hoobastank in years. But now that I mentioned it...
Dont give in! Hoobastank was never good, we were just too young and dumb to know it
 

Ghostrick Dorklord

Ordinary High School Girl
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Oct 2, 2009
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Through the Looking Glass
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tr;dr I went super goth to idol trash

I don't know I feel like I mellowed out a lot over the years. I used to be a very hyper, easily excited person who was a bit of a flirt to well... A more mellowed out person. I don't know how to really describe myself today to be honest other than maaaaybe being depressing but I think I've been more optimistic and more open minded about things.

But as for that explanation for the tl;dr note well I used to be super into the goth scene and while I still have nostalgia for it I left it years because of well bands I really liked dissolved and it felt like people where there for the look rather than being in the subculture if that makes sense. Me being idol trash is pretty recent to be honest; I actually hated Love Live and other idol related things but after hate watching it I ended up really loving it and it gave me hope oddly enough.

I guess the biggest change is that I became a crossdresser. I always loved goth fashion as I did my best to look cool. I still love the style but I think this was an eventual thing for me. My idol is Mana-sama who's also one but he's the most beautiful person I ever seen and I always wanted to emulate him somehow so I eventually got into gothic lolita fashion and into crossplay. I haven't changed my gender or sexuality or anything because of this and only really see it as an aesthetic thing. I actually feel true to myself now.

Its been a weird ride for me so far. I feel a lot of regrets because I hardly ever get out to see the world or meet new people. I'm also scared that I'm getting too old now for everything now. I feel so bad for being a late bloomer and for not knowing what to do in life and because of that I'm really not feeling I'm where I want to be in life. Its just that I feel like I should have a wife by now at least and start a family like my high school friends. I still want that future but I'm scared that it might be too late for me. But I'm just gonna at least try what I can do. I feel like I should go with the flow these days if anything and I just plan on doing that.
 

gsilver

Regular Member
Apr 21, 2010
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These days, I'm freaking tired, all the time, with headaches and fatigue that knock me flat for full days at a time.
Back when I was younger, I was freaking tired, all the time, with headaches and fatigue that knock me flat for full days at a time, and I got sick a lot.

So I guess I get sick less often?


Though I guess I'm a lot less tolerant of people's melodramatic and erratic behavior.
Being stuck at my folks house (unemployed with nowhere to go... I can *afford* to be somewhere else, but because of Covid I have to cast a wide net in the job search, and between that and the lockdowns, it seems kinda pointless to pay the sky-high rent in a city where I think that I might find work) and I'm seeing both of them throw tantrums, the effects of their hoarding, constant slams as they "organize" their hoarded items, violent news programs, ranting about politics, bizarre rules (they don't want me to "throw away air" so I'm supposed to keep bags of garbage in my room until they're completely full, unless I hide them under other bags), general repressed anger coming across in all kinds of bizarre ways... I am so fucking sick of their bullshit, and people's bullshit in general.

When I was a kid, I just took it. I still remember a girl that I knew in college, and one of the first things that she told me was to stop apologizing... and here, I'm reminded *exactly* where I got it. My dad's "apologizing" all the time, but in a snarling, angry, and vindictive manner intended to shame the person he's "apologizing" to. Thanks, dad.
God. I hope I never end up like that.

If it weren't for freaking Covid, I'd be somewhere else right now. I just don't know how long it'll be before I get work again. I've been looking for two and a half months now, since the company that I worked for laid off 10% of their workers, despite having not yet experienced any hardship (quite the contrary, actually) and a meeting promising that they'd do everything that they could to prevent layoffs.

Meanwhile, the stock of the company that I worked for is up 230% in the last 3 months, and with their ESPP program (which lets them buy shares at a quarter of the current price...) my former coworkers who didn't lose their jobs basically all got 40% raises.
 

Aegix Drakan

♪ Megalovania is a genre ♪
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Apr 30, 2020
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In my early 30's now.

I find that I've gotten more angry, tired and cynical about the world around me, even though I personally still try to "be the change I want to see in the world" and try to be kind and empathetic to others and make people feel welcome.

I've long since ditched religion (I used to have a serious "fear of god" type religious thing going on), and although I still have some lingering "christian guilt complex" that's refusing to be pried out of my skull, I feel so much more free, so much less guilty over stuff that no one should feel guilty for, and so much more mentally and emotionally stable

Until a few years ago, I used to be a total doormat, never caring about myself, always sacrificing my happiness for others, even when I didn't really want to. But, during an especially hard period in my life that totaled any sense of self-worth I had, I rebuilt my emotional state from the ground up. Took a few years, but I'm actually rather content with myself nowadays.

Also, I've generally stopped giving a shit about others looking down on me for my inherent Aspergers+SuperGeek weirdness. I pretty much own that stuff about me now.

Finally...I can no longer sleep on my side without waking up in pain, unless I have a pillow wedged between my knees, and I HATE that. Getting old in the body sucks.


Soooooo, TLDR, aside from the back pain and mental exhaustion about being someone who cares in a world full of jerks who don't...I really, REALLY like how I've changed over the years, and kind of wish I could let Past Me know that I'll turn out alright.

BTW, being asexual explains too much about my teenage years but I'm sure no one wants to read that.
As an Asexual myself, who had a REALLY rough teenage period because of it...I seriously feel that statement.
 
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