How to Not Be An Ass Here

[DustyDrB]

The internet is the Mecca of Misunderstanding. It's not hard to understand why. Much (and the vast majority, if you believe some studies) of communication is nonverbal. That doesn't factor in here. Add in the loss of things like vocal tone, and the fact this is a multicultural site...tempers flare over small things all the time.

I'm just starting this thread to provide a way for us to share some tips/facts/grilled cheese (NO! It's mine!). So let's start with just a few from me...

1. When in a debate, avoid reading other posters' responses in the "angry voice". We want validation, not refutation. So when we get the latter instead of the former, there is a tendency to project an angry tone onto other posters' responses. I've caught myself doing this. It often just makes you become defensive, then things escalate. And then, well...

Just try to remind yourself: you're trying to have a discussion. That will be lost quickly the moment you become defensive.

2. English, please? OK, so not every post here is the fount of literary nuance. Sometimes you need a Babel Fish just to get a general understanding of what the person is trying to say. There could be reasons for the awkward phrasing and terrible spelling, though. Like I said before, this site is frequented by quite a few people who don't speak English as a first language (and if you are one of those people, I give you props. You know more languages than I do, even if you might stumble a bit with ours). Beyond that, there are disabilities that can contribute to such posts. So if you lash out against someone for using poor grammar, you just may have ridiculed someone for something that is out of their control to a degree. Dick move.

3. Pick your battles. I understand that this site is a place that's bound to have many individuals with unconventional passions, but have some perspective. If a person enjoys something that you loathe, it doesn't make them an idiot or "everything that is wrong with the world/gaming/miniature golf. Yes, it might be important to you, but I hope most of us are aware when a passion of ours is maybe a mild interest at best to most others. And I hope we can tell the difference between a truly vital issue and a trivial one.

And that's all for me right now. Go ahead and add your own if you have any.

Spoiler: And OK...here you go

 

[6unn3r]

I'd like to quote the sniper from TF2 here:

Be polite, be efficient, have a plan to kill everyone you meet.

Works quite well i think.

 

[LobsterFeng]

I've got some.

Bronies: If somebody doesn't like the show, it's okay. We shouldn't freak out on them, don't try to explain the awesomeness of it to them, they won't get it.

Non-Bronies: Just let them do their own thing, okay? I know some can kind of be in your face about it, but the majority of them don't believe in doing stuff like that. (The majority around here anyway)

 

[Nickompoop]

4. Don't try to dissuade people to your side if you're in the minority. I'm not saying your opinions don't matter, but if you take a stance that most people disagree with on the internet, the debate will end up devolving into a flame war. And no one wants that.

5. Don't feed the trolls.

EDIT: Whoops, it looks like I'm calling you a troll. I'm not. Just making that clear.

 

[the spud]

I find this site to be pretty mature and tolerant compared to most other sites. There may be a few grammar nazis (yes, I am looking at you, phlakes but for the most part I think this a good community.

 

[Ace of Spades]

Don't make repeat threads, not because they actually decrease the quality of the forums, but because legions of bored people with nothing better to do will descend on your thread to point out in very condescending tones about how people without the mental capacity to use the search bar are contributing to the ever-progressing downfall of the Escapist.

 

[Ice Car]

I find this site to be pretty mature and tolerant compared to most other sites. There may be a few grammar nazis (yes, I am looking at you, phlakes but for the most part I think this a good community.

Agreed. I don't know why this is such an issue here. Most people here are well-mannered and behaved, from what I've seen.

There's the occasional twat that doesn't respect anyone, but they usually don't stick around long when they realize that... They won't stick around long.

 

[Idsertian]

Sound advice, good sir. I hope at least a few people read this and spread its wisdom across the internet. Alas, this likely will not happen and we will continue to suffer the splash damage of a myriad of flamewars. But it shall not be for want of trying.

Good post is good. Also, you should be a mod. :3

CAPTCHA: turnjoi first...wut?

 

[DustyDrB]

Grilled Cheese!

*Ahem* I admire your post which I bet a lot of Users will put down due to claiming you're trying to be 'overly' noble which for some reason.. some Escapists like negativity. They feed off it like the dark force of a Sith Lord. But, besides that I fully agree with you. I admire and enjoy debates but sometimes people who I end up debating with take it to far or just make it unbearable to reply (not even talking about losing a debate, I mean those who shun your opinion or judge you over an opinion different from there's.)

In truth, I think we're pretty mature on here. Also, I admit that I sometimes misphrase things or have a spelling error here and there, but I am not focused on perfecting my posts due to how deep I get in the thought process (as in I type down what I am thinking carefully rather then worrying about my spelling, grammar, ect.) Again, I admire what you're trying to do but everyone who agrees with you will already be well mannered or respectful. Everyone else... well, they'll be like those children in that video you presented.

I hope I don't come across as too noble. I'm not advocating that people walk on eggshells. I think most anything can be discussed reasonably as long as the people involved have some perspective and don't make assumptions about others. I've just noticed a lot of instances lately where people escalate things so suddenly and seemingly without a justifiable cause. I understand there are always trolls who feed off that sort of thing. But I've seen a bunch of obviously intelligent people who seemed to begin things with the intention of having a discussion suddenly become overly defensive or condescending. As soon as that happens, the discussion is over and you're just left with a sort of petty power struggle.

 

[Erana]

Know the difference between being opinionated and being insulting.

So often, you see people saying, "I got moderated when I was just voicing my opinion!" when it turns out they were posting things like, "This is complete bullshit. This aspect is bad, this is bad, and it shouldn't exist!"
Or worse, insulting the people who feel differently from them.

Unless you're going to give fairly tangible evidence to support what you say, especially with criticism, just don't say it.
With relative terms it can be difficult, but if you don't like a game's voiceacting you could give an example like, "In one scene, the time stream had been disrupted, and Sally, the representative for SuperScience Inc. made a comment about what kind of damage breaking time would cause, but I could not discern if Sally was meant to be genuinely upset or just sarcastic and aloof about the thousands who would have died."

That being said, I have to add that someone being a dick, and some other people finding their callous behavior amusing =/= actual comedic intent or tongue-in-cheek humor.

Blatant jokes like the content of Zero Punctuation are acceptable as a link or topic of discussion, but even Yahtzee is expected to approach discussion in the community with the same respect as everyone else here.