"How To Pick the Perfect Video Game": The Most Useful Flowchart Ever

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
45,698
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"How To Pick the Perfect Video Game": The Most Useful Flowchart Ever


"How To Pick the Perfect Video Game" is an ideal tool for those days when you really want to play something but can't quite figure out what.

It's 2 pm on Sunday, you've been bored since lunch, you've got a serious itch to play a game but... which one? There are so many, and not just new releases; you've got a backlog the size of Mount Fuji that you're scared to even look at for fear that it's developed into a machine consciousness and is now plotting your demise. You need a game, you need it fast, you need it right - and you need help.

Have no fear, for the good folks at Silver Oak Casino have just the thing to smooth those rough waters. "How To Pick the Perfect Video Game" covers all the bases and delivers you, inevitably and without fail, to the game you not only want to play, but that you need to play. It's an all-occasions tool, too, with games from Ms. Pac-Man to Braid to SimCity 2000 to Mass Effect 2 and beyond, so no matter what you want to play - and especially if you don't know what you want to play - there's a solid option on the table.

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It's kind of weird that this came from an online casino, but there's no denying that it's an impressive effort. It works, too; it told me I should play Half-Life 2, and it was right. Success!

Source: Silver Oak Casino [http://www.silveroakcasino.com/blog/entertainment/how-to-pick-the-perfect-video-game.html]


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Eevee

New member
May 28, 2012
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It's awesome!

Only one complaint, the one leading into Okami thinks that the playable character is a Male...
 

LaoJim

New member
Aug 24, 2013
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I followed it down to about the Mario Kart section and thought it was mildly amusing.
Then suddenly I realized it kept on going and going and going...into awesomeness.

As I'm sure everyone will be complaining about the exact choices of the games here, I'll start of by being pretending to be mortally offended that he included Geometry Wars 2 over Geometry Wars 1.
 

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
45,698
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Ed130 The Vanguard said:
And you say this came from a Casino website? Colour me impressed.
Yeah, I was really surprised. At first I thought maybe it was one of those ironic site titles, but it's a straight-up casino site. I'm not even allowed to access any of the games it hosts because I live in Canada.
 

Mothhive

New member
Apr 2, 2010
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The only way to get to the puzzle heavy old school Lucasarts adventure games is to select No when asked if you want puzzles?

The person who made this needs to scrap it, and start again! ;)
 

Souplex

Souplex Killsplosion Awesomegasm
Jul 29, 2008
10,312
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I am disappointed by the distinct lack of Dark Souls on this list.
Also, it brought me to Advanced wars after I said I wanted to level up a character, and you don't level up in Advanced wars.
Space Wizards (Mass Effect) is only if you answer No to losing yourself in another world, and they picked the worst of the series to represent it.
Old man Souplex shakes his cane at you!
*Shakes cane*
 

TKretts3

New member
Jul 20, 2010
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lacktheknack said:
Led me straight to Portal 2. 10/10, bookmarked and will use again.
No civilization games. 0/999, marked for death, will toss into a pit. Full of sharks. Flaming sharks. With lasers attached to their frikkin heads.

http://youtu.be/7edeOEuXdMU?t=8s
 

BrotherRool

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Oct 31, 2008
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So looking at a block of my favourite games and how far back up the branch I have to go before options lead to mainly games that I don't like, I'm a:

Action junky, who doesn't want to be scared, doesn't yearn to level up, wants to lose himself in the world, not into LAN, doesn't like puzzles or total creativity but wants to use my brain.

That gets almost all my favourite games on the list and not many I don't love. I'm only really missing FFX there
 

FancyNick

New member
Mar 4, 2013
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Not bad, it told me I wanted to play Final Fantasy Tactics. One of my all time favorite games.
 

Weaver

Overcaffeinated
Apr 28, 2008
8,977
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Do you want to avoid using much of your brain? Yes.
Then I end up at Ikaruga... okay.

Also, I dare say the first Super Monkey Ball was harder than DMC3.
I've never met a person who has beat the hardest mode on Super Monkey Ball on GCN. It was absurdly difficult. This is coming from someone who played countless hours of Monkey Ball high school.
 

Khymerion

New member
Apr 10, 2012
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This chart is complete bunk.

There are next to no strategy games what so ever in this. No RTS, no grand strategy, turn based squad tactical games. There are no city builders or simulation games. It leaves you only with a few strategy options and you have to work towards them through the chart, namely Suikoden... an RPG... or Advanced Wars... barely on the chart in terms of a real war game and only if you like mobile games. Or Final Fantasy Tactics.

No X-Com (in any of it's incarnations... old or new), no Starcraft, no Sim City (it's older incarnations), no Total War entry, not a single Paradox entertainment game for the grand strategy gamer.

This chart honestly feels like a good deal of pandering instead of actually interesting.
 

ShakerSilver

Professional Procrastinator
Nov 13, 2009
885
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Why is Gears of War the only third-person shooter this recommends, but there are several different FPS games recommended?
How does it say that DMC3, Ikaruga, and Super Punch Out require less brain activity than Gears of War, Minecraft, or GTA?
Why does Mario 3 have simpler controls than Mario World when the only difference in control is the spin jump?
Why aren't there any RTS or GranStrat games?
Why is MGS3 suddenly not a Japanese story?
Why are MGS3 and Bam Ham the only stealth games recommended when they're plenty of other games like Hitman, Thief, and Splinter-Cell?
Why does it recommend CoD4 as a game without 8-year-olds screaming "n00b"?
Why is the only "old-school" Zelda recommended A Link to the Past?
Why does it recommend Twilight Princess as a game to play with a Wiimote when a gamecube version exists?
Why does it call Chrono Trigger the greatest game of all time?
Why does it recommend a severely outdated Mario Kart?
Why does it recommend Quake III when it's practically dead?

This list is very, very flawed and very biased. Why is this even an article? How is this remotely news worthy?
 

Xan Krieger

Completely insane
Feb 11, 2009
2,918
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The lack of any total war games messes this chart up a bit, same for RTS games. Overall the list is missing a lot of games better than what's on it.
 

bliebblob

Plushy wrangler, die-curious
Sep 9, 2009
719
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Whoa wait what? Average reflexes lead to devil may cry 3? Huh, so that's what fanboy rage feels like...