"How To Pick the Perfect Video Game": The Most Useful Flowchart Ever

Geisterkarle

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Dec 27, 2010
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It's a really nice chart!
Of course there are a few questionable questions. My "favorite" is right at the end:
"Want to keep it Indi?"
Yes: Super Meatboy
No: Psychonauts

Yeah well, ok, SMB is more Indi than Psychonauts, but I wouldn't put that game for mainstream either!

Also: "Do you have an affection for Italian plumbers?" ;)
 

Scarim Coral

Jumped the ship
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The chart is a lie! Super Monkey Ball is hard especially the levels later on!
 

Not Lord Atkin

I'm dead inside.
Oct 25, 2008
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can't read it without finding nits to pick all the time. For example: I'm pretty sure Amaterasu is female.
 

Casual Shinji

Should've gone before we left.
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I stopped the moment I was asked 'Do you want to avoid using your brain?'

First of all it comes across a bit insulting. And secondly, how the hell will I know if I want to? I play games to experience something, whether it's going to be a brain scratcher or not is up to the game. It's just a very odd question to start off a flowchart with.
 

WOPR

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Aug 18, 2010
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I suddenly feel like everyone is going to call me a hipster for saying I don't like this chart... 90% of the time it gives me a game I hate. At least it gave me Ikaruga this time. Though I've kinda S ranked the whole game at this point, I think I'll play Ring Runner instead, maybe next time chart :)
(Also DMC3 the hardest game ever? Don't make me laugh chart, just don't.)

Edit: Wait, minecraft requires using your brain? Then how come the only people I know who still play it are my friends little sisters? The kinds that still like justin beiber and one direction... If I want creativity and my mind I'll be playing Warzone 2100, Robot Arena 2, or [any Civilization game or spinoff here] thank you very much.
 
Mar 30, 2010
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Mothhive said:
The only way to get to the puzzle heavy old school Lucasarts adventure games is to select No when asked if you want puzzles?

The person who made this needs to scrap it, and start again! ;)
Yeah, I wondered at that too. Also Doom 2, the 90's deathmatch classic, is reached by selecting singleplayer over multiplayer. Hmm.

Amusing, but not all that accurate.
 

Bombiz

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Apr 12, 2010
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ask's if you want some large scale battles. doesn't point you to Rome Total War (the first one). this chart needs to be renamed to the most miss leading flow chart Ever. i want to say that this guy put serious time into this but giving the fact that he missed out on an ENTIRE genera i'm gonna go with no.

unless he was going for more of a comedic approach. then it seems like he put in good effort/ hard work.
 

antidonkey

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Dec 10, 2009
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It lead me to Fallout 2. I'm very much OK with that. I'm now having massive nostalgia fits from when I played that game.
 

Dreadman75

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Jul 6, 2011
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Looking closely at the chart I see some truly excellent games are on there...except for three of my all time favorites: Ratchet and Clank, Jak and Daxter, and Sly Cooper. That is a crime somehow. Those three franchises are incredible and deserve a spot somewhere.

Then again I'm noticing a distinct lack of platformers that aren't from Nintendo on this chart. Don't misunderstand, Nintendo practically invented the platforming genre but there are other excellent examples out there besides Mario and Donkey Kong.
 

walsfeo

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Feb 17, 2010
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Another crappy casino advertisement pretending to be a geek tool? The same "gentleman" did a flowchart like this for board games and it was truly suck-tastic, and then he lied about it being a casino advert when I called him on his BS. The board game flowchart was so bad I can't even pretend to take this seriously.

I really hope the Escapist got paid well for doing this advertising for the casino.
 

r0seyp0m

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Oct 11, 2012
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Uhh.... this chart is actually kind of shit, to be honest.

"Do you like to be called a n00b by 8 year olds?"
"no"
"Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare"

"Do you like being terrified?"
"Yes"
"Bioshock"
 
Aug 31, 2012
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What the hell? No RTS or 4X strategies?! This is the worst thing ever made and everyone involved in it's production should be killed. It may sound harsh but we have to set an example.
 

IamLEAM1983

Neloth's got swag.
Aug 22, 2011
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This is amusing, but the list's creator is pretty biased. I'd say this is more worthwhile as an editable template that could be based on your own collection or personal tastes.
 

Eldritch Warlord

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Jun 6, 2008
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I don't care for this chart; it claims that Halo has a more significant population of obnoxious prepubescents than CoD, recommends playing Twilight Princess with a Wiimote, and thinks Advance Wars has leveling.