For myself, I would say that my life has been one long journey of me attempting to understand my fellow man. I do not see the normal pathways of communication that everyone around me uses and sees so easily, when I look at a face I see any number of possible intents behind them and have no idea where to start with deciding which intent it is. It has taken me a long time on this journey to understand the things I do that bother others and to learn to avoid doing them but I still have so much I cannot really learn out of my system.
My face is usually as inexpressive as my (previous) avatar's I can't tell what other people are thinking or intending and so I don't know what is a safe or correct expression to show and so I feel I've just naturally ended up with a default expression that is very unreadable and probably unnerving to others at times.
I have tried to understand why it is that we cannot just say what we mean and instead must have a song and dance where we don't say how we really feel directly and just be efficient about our communication process. Why do people only listen when you over-exaggerate your point, why is "winning" never enough but a gain must be pushed until significant force pushes back?
Because of the effort required for me to have a normal conversation, I find I cannot spend near the amount of time socializing that normal people can, and so I frequently retreat to my cloistered room in my home so I can drop all the need to watch what I say or how I look or interpret what others are saying or how they look. And yet I can't deal with being truly alone for long amounts of time, I hate being alone but being with others takes so much more effort than it feels like it should.
I think the biggest thing that I have tried to understand is why is it that people gifted with the normal ability to be intuitive of what others mean in turn also seem to not think about how other people are... people like themselves. The fact that it requires so much more effort for me to intuit the thoughts and feelings of others seems to make me much more sensitive to when I end up hurting others emotionally.
Sorry if this was rambling, I just felt the inexplicable need to get out my thoughts on my "cross to bear".
My face is usually as inexpressive as my (previous) avatar's I can't tell what other people are thinking or intending and so I don't know what is a safe or correct expression to show and so I feel I've just naturally ended up with a default expression that is very unreadable and probably unnerving to others at times.
I have tried to understand why it is that we cannot just say what we mean and instead must have a song and dance where we don't say how we really feel directly and just be efficient about our communication process. Why do people only listen when you over-exaggerate your point, why is "winning" never enough but a gain must be pushed until significant force pushes back?
Because of the effort required for me to have a normal conversation, I find I cannot spend near the amount of time socializing that normal people can, and so I frequently retreat to my cloistered room in my home so I can drop all the need to watch what I say or how I look or interpret what others are saying or how they look. And yet I can't deal with being truly alone for long amounts of time, I hate being alone but being with others takes so much more effort than it feels like it should.
I think the biggest thing that I have tried to understand is why is it that people gifted with the normal ability to be intuitive of what others mean in turn also seem to not think about how other people are... people like themselves. The fact that it requires so much more effort for me to intuit the thoughts and feelings of others seems to make me much more sensitive to when I end up hurting others emotionally.
Sorry if this was rambling, I just felt the inexplicable need to get out my thoughts on my "cross to bear".
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