How would you survive a horror movie?

[Nouw]

My dad showed me horror movies since when I was 5 so I could 'cope with ''things'' I'm not entirely sure what that means but at least I'm completely desensitised -.-

Things? [http://images1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090503185154/aliens/images/7/78/The_Thing.jpg]

Sorry, I just had to

Oddly that was one of the first films he showed me. Tbh I found the behaiviour of the men more frightening than the actual monster. It's still one of my favourite movies lol.

I haven't seen it yet but one day I aspire too with my friends. It'll be amusing watching their faces during the transformations.

 

[angry_flashlight]

I think I have a book on this somewhere...

If I hit the killer with a shotgun and he's down on the ground? Blow his head off with another shot from a distance outside stabbing/injury distance. Double-tap FTW. Then shoot the arms off. Then the legs. Then unload until there's only a pile of pink-ish mush for a torso. Reload shotgun just in case. Then grab gasoline and light that ************ up. Once it's burned to ash, grab a stake and drive it through the pile, use a cross shaped stake for extra potency. Find whatever evil source that spawned the killer (if any). Destroy said source with shotgun and gasoline. Then go see if any other idiots are still alive.

Seriously, double tap. You've already got him on the ground, unload on the *****. If he gets back up after you've pulped his body to shreds, then you know that it's supernatural and you must find the power of Jesus (and it is always Jesus) and banish it through that.

 

[JesterRaiin]

"Hellraiser".

- It seems it's a puzzle box...
- Probably. Throw it away and let's get drunk.

 

[Saint of M]

I'm a virgin, nuff said.

 

[maninahat]

Either be the sensible brunette chick, or the sensible, passive-aggressive, brunette man. If you are blonde, talkative, aggressive, strong, sexually active, black, or a self described comedian you will die!

 

[Bob_Dobb]

Get a shotgun and get drunk really drunk, I won't feel the pain if I get eaten and I have a little chance of survival with a shotgun.

 

[ShadowsofHope]

1. Don't ever get in the car unless you check the back seat and the trunk too.
2. Don't have sex with your love interest.
3. Always push the black guy, the blonde girl and/or minority individual infront of the killer while you get away.
4. Don't taunt the killer.
5. Building on number three, never let any of those three take charge of the situation - they will fuck you over everytime. Killers have an affinity for smelling them out, anywhere.
6. And always keep in mind, the virgin will always live/be victorious. Keep them close, and keep them content in your company.

Pretty much the fundamental rule to most slasher films. In zombie/apocalypse movies? White military/cop guy, stick with him, provided he plays the protector/father figure role (otherwise, he might just be attempting to rape you at some point, like all middle/old aged men like to in horror films). He has infinity ammo, and typically plot armor/biology. Be cautious around the black military/cop guy, he has a tendency to try and lone man hero the horde of baddies breaching your shelter/refuge..

 

[Trivun]

Silent Hill - I'd stay the fuck away from the town in the first place.

The Mummy - make sure to ally myself with the sexy British librarian and awesome American adventurer, then stay close to one of them for the whole film. Same goes for the sequel.

Sleepy Hollow - learn black magic and use it to defend myself.

Sweeney Todd - stay the fuck away from Fleet Street.

Anything else - make sure that I stay a virgin until the end, but ingratiate myself with the lead female, so as to become her love interest (my virgin status will protect me and at the end I get a hot girlfriend - win-win for me!).

Huh. This was kind of tough actually, I don't really tend to watch horror movies that much, not being a big fan of horror on the whole...

 

[BlackSaint09]

I would so wanna go toe to toe with Jason Voorhees... Only id wanna have either A) a chainsaw B) Metal-gauntlets C) a machete.

And id want a white mask as well. Jason always had one of my fave character designs.

 

[Alcamonic]

Never ever sleep. Drink coffee, all the time.
In his world he can bend the laws of physics against me.

*shudder in fear*

The best way of surviving a horror movie is constantly giving hints about a deeper plot about the main villain, this should get me into a sequel (or at the least give me a good "I told you so!" scene).

 

[gellert1984]

Dustoff and nuke it from orbit, it works for pretty much every situation.

 

[Con Carne]

Ummm...I would move out of state. End movie.

 

[RemuValtrez]

I'd just get the hell out of that haunted house. Poof. I survived .

 

[ZenoX969]

Jaws.

Stay away from the ocean.

 

[Scarim Coral]

I will always bring a gun with me, always. Secondly no matter how hotthe women are and somehow I get lucky, I will do my best to not get laid. Always stick in a group and never decide to check or head to the darkness by myself.

 

[lotrfanatic1]

kill the monster before it kills you? i mean most horror movie 'evils' are mortal at the end of the day =P

 

[Crazy]

Chase the bad guy and assert my dominance.

 

[everythingbeeps]

Obviously it would depend on the movie. If there's room (i.e. we're not on a spaceship or some other enclosed thing), I'd run in a straight line and keep running to put distance between myself and whatever the hell the horror is.

Otherwise, I'd curl up in the fetal position in some corner or closet or whatnot and just try to be as silent as possible. I just don't have it in me to put up a fight.

Also, you know this is a total flight of fancy because I'd be completely incapable of running more than 20 yards. I'm that out of shape.

 

[Suicida1 Midget]

Well i am dead, since i am going to be the one who knows what to do and how. Then get mandroped and killed cause everyone else just HAS to live and take days on end to figure it out. *sigh*

 

[Kevlar Eater]

I'm black. I'm dead five minutes into the movie.