I think there are literally 0 contexts in which it is logically and linguistically appropriate to define his comment sexist. This is honestly madness.
I Am Confused Edition: Sexist for calling someone "stunning"?
- Thread starter Parasondox
- Start date
I just finished reading the article. I just don't understand, can someone explain to me why this is a big deal?
Seems like someone made an inappropriate comment and the receiver is either overreacting or looking to stir up some trouble given how high the status of the man is (edit
because how does this even equate to sexism?
You know.... I'm confused but this doesn't pertain to the situation stated by the OP. Women, particularly Western Women, continue to wear clothes meant to expose and exaggerate particular aspects of their body and then call men out when they pay the extra attention. Irresponsibility is what I'm taking from this, and I'm not just wary about this particular facet of Western culture. Individualism and the effect it has on Western people is another aspect that I absolutely hate. Sure most, if not all, of you are capable of being very independent but having the individual prioritized over the community is just .... unacceptable to me.
Seems like someone made an inappropriate comment and the receiver is either overreacting or looking to stir up some trouble given how high the status of the man is (edit
because how does this even equate to sexism?You know.... I'm confused but this doesn't pertain to the situation stated by the OP. Women, particularly Western Women, continue to wear clothes meant to expose and exaggerate particular aspects of their body and then call men out when they pay the extra attention. Irresponsibility is what I'm taking from this, and I'm not just wary about this particular facet of Western culture. Individualism and the effect it has on Western people is another aspect that I absolutely hate. Sure most, if not all, of you are capable of being very independent but having the individual prioritized over the community is just .... unacceptable to me.
Id say this individual act isnt sexist, but the fact she tries hard to present her (Frankly impressive) credentials on a professional website but (Apparently) receives many messages simply regarding her physical appearance instead indicates a sexist trend. Do you think male professionals deal with the same problem? The fact that a problem is uniquely faced by someone of one gender BECAUSE of their gender indicates the issue may be sexist. With that said ONCE AGAIN I personally dont find this individual case to be overtly "Sexist". He was just inappropriate and unprofessional. I can see why she is frustrated though. It comes off as very condescending.insaninater said:
Well, as a male professional in a predominantly female field, yes women can be just as 'sexist' as men can, but that's more to do with being comfortable with who is around you. I see it as a good thing, because it shows women are more comfortable to express their sexuality more openly. So yeah, the 60 something colleague at work likes to be flirty with me. Was I uncomfortable at first, of course! But after we built a proper working relationship, we both have a laugh about it.
Now I think the difference here is that the woman in question didn't find it funny and clearly was uncomfortable. And the suggestion that this harassment has been going on for a while indicates that she is well within her rights to take the matter further. Now whether it was 'right' for it to be brought to the world's attention is questionable, but I sincerely hope that she did not intend for it to go that far.
But hey, she's in her twenties, it's almost understandable for her to make those kinds of mistakes. He's in his 60s. He probably should have known better.
Now I think the difference here is that the woman in question didn't find it funny and clearly was uncomfortable. And the suggestion that this harassment has been going on for a while indicates that she is well within her rights to take the matter further. Now whether it was 'right' for it to be brought to the world's attention is questionable, but I sincerely hope that she did not intend for it to go that far.
But hey, she's in her twenties, it's almost understandable for her to make those kinds of mistakes. He's in his 60s. He probably should have known better.
So if you aren't attractive enough complimenting other people is "sexist" or "creepy"? Hello, female entitlement, very nice to see you here.
If you really don't want other people complimenting your looks you shouldn't try to provoke such reaction. If you think that only "attractive enough" people can do it, then you are a self-entitled psychopath and should be isolated from the society.
If you really don't want other people complimenting your looks you shouldn't try to provoke such reaction. If you think that only "attractive enough" people can do it, then you are a self-entitled psychopath and should be isolated from the society.
Sexist? No. Unprofessional and inappropriate? Yes. I read it as him paying her a complement but it was totally the wrong place to do that. Its a professional website for work related stuff and not a dating site. But to say its sexist and misogynistic is just plain wrong and over reacting. But then she is a human rights lawyer and they always react wrongly such as respecting the criminals rights more than the victims.
By that logic, because she sees herself as the victim and him as a criminal, wouldn't she respect his rights more than her own??SonOfVoorhees said:
Seriously though, as a lawyer she probably has better ways to deal with the situation than leaking it publicly. Although on the other hand, the legal profession is largely male dominated, and as such, she may not have felt her issues would be addressed by bringing it forward.
On the other, other hand, he now has been ousted publicly, when everyone's best interests may have been to keep the situation within an organizational level. So as such, now he is the victim and it could be argued his punishment, whilst deserved, is unjust. Even if society doesn't see it that way and...
Oh, right. I see what you meant there about lawyers and respecting victim's rights...
Sort of curious now, if a criteria for sexism is how serious it is, at what point does one stop being casual? Do you have to be a professional sexist?Drops a Sweet Katana said:
A lot of bigotry is simple and casual. I'm not sure why this would be a defense against claims of sexism.
Much like with the Walter Lewin incident a few months ago, which is much closer to my own sphere, I'm more inclined to think that this isn't just one creepy internet comment but the first one that was posted publicly in a long series of inappropriate comments, and that either this guy has been harassing her and/or others for a while or she has been having issues with being hit on by men old enough to be her father in general and she wants to make an example of someone.Parasondox said:
Or she was offended because the guy was married, which is also not that unreasonable.
And lastly, if I was linkedin and getting more flirting than job offers, I'd start to get a little cranky too.
Physicist, and same. I want to hurl every time I see someone try to play amateur scientist to trump up their personal views about completely unrelated subjects.BiscuitTrouser said:
Evolutionary psychology is great when you're looking at where arachnophobia might have come from (insects spread illness, are often indicative of dirt and filth, and some are just outright dangerous on their own) and why sugar is addictive, it's irritating (and not to mention false) when it's twisted up to conveniently align with a very specific view of social phenomena.
Especially when you say "It's just facts because science!" No, it's not. It's science when you're drawing a conclusion from the facts, not starting with the thoroughly debunked "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" stereotypes as a justification for reaching towards a convenient conclusion. Pro-tip: when your "science" happens to conveniently confirm everything you believe about the world rather than challenge it, what you are doing is probably not science, and a scientific argument should never, ever have to remind anyone that it's scientific, it must stand on its own merits.
I would say its inappropriate for certain, but sexist? I wouldn't say that, alot of the hatred seems to come from the idea that a older man could find a younger woman attractive, which spoiler alert is kind of something men are hardwired to do...It was unprofessional and inappropriate for sure but I wouldn't call is "sexist"
Actually, I've had both wolf whistles and compliments on my ass, among other thing. And yes, from people easily twice my age. I don't particularly think of it as creepy or sexist.Ouroboros said:
The way I see it is when you put a picture up for review on the internet and invite commentary you lose the right to complain about getting it. If this was a private picture, I'd say this was creepy and stalkerish, on the other hand if she put up a picture that's supposed to show her being attractive, such a compliment is perfectly acceptable regardless of the ages involved.
That's just my opinion though.
That's just my opinion though.
Her picture isn't up for review and commentary. Her credentials on a professional business site are up for review and commentary. That's literally what this is about.
You joke, but that's literally the corporate definition of sexual harassment. Unwanted advances and sexual comments.Abomination said:
Honestly, it was uncalled for on both parts. Man tells woman she would win the prize for best business picture. Woman capitalizes on the slip up by calling the media and getting a $#!%ton of free advertising for her firm/personal practice. Clever business move but rather crappy on both sides.
A quick question though- did he actually say the picture was stunning? or is it just the "win the prize for the best Linked in picture I have ever seen" thing. Cause we're all going to feel very stupid having spent all these posts if it's a simple misrepresented issue when there's starving kids in Africa and all.
Edit: wow, yeah. he's definitely hitting on her. good for her for getting the information out and protecting herself.
A quick question though- did he actually say the picture was stunning? or is it just the "win the prize for the best Linked in picture I have ever seen" thing. Cause we're all going to feel very stupid having spent all these posts if it's a simple misrepresented issue when there's starving kids in Africa and all.
Edit: wow, yeah. he's definitely hitting on her. good for her for getting the information out and protecting herself.
You would normally be considered a professional sexist around the point you starting making ~£25k per annum full time as a sexist.Something Amyss said:
Seriously though, I think you've misunderstood what I said. While hugely inappropriate, the remark alone, without context (which we largely lack), is not inherently sexist. Saying a photo of someone is 'stunning' isn't really sexist on its own. In the context of their chat, it may have been, but since there weren't any chat logs or really even a complete comment, but context is not in ample supply.
Admittedly, the 'simple, casual' bit was pretty poorly worded on my part, and you're right that it would be pretty daft to defend overt dickholery because it's 'simple and casual', but I don't think there's a lot of overt dickholery on display here, at least not that I saw when I looked over the article.
It's a pretty different context between saying this on Facebook to one of your friends, and saying it to a stranger that you've just met on a website specifically used for business. If I decided to comment on a woman's appearance in the middle of a business meeting it would be incredibly inappropriate.The Lunatic said:
That being said... I think this sounds like it's a little overblown. I'm not that familiar with LinkedIn, so I'm not sure exactly what environment it is, but as far as "objectifying compliments" go, this is pretty tame and respectful. Even if the context is inappropriate. I can see how it can be frustrating, particularly if there's a trend for it. There's also probably some sexism involved in why it's so prevalent in professional settings. But I think her reaction is too strong.
In particular, I don't like how she spread his name and face on the internet. She very well could have blurred it out, and she could have made her point just as well. Especially since he apologized for the comment already.
Sexist isn't the word I'd use, but it definitely could be considered inappropriate and/or unprofessional.
Personally, I have received similar comments on my LinkedIn pictures from males and females alike, and even when it's someone twice my age saying how "handsome" I look in a suit, I just kind of brush it off. Maybe I could've gotten a lot of attention with it, and brought up how terrible the industry is for allowing such comments to be made.
Personally, I have received similar comments on my LinkedIn pictures from males and females alike, and even when it's someone twice my age saying how "handsome" I look in a suit, I just kind of brush it off. Maybe I could've gotten a lot of attention with it, and brought up how terrible the industry is for allowing such comments to be made.
I actually think he was right. The picture is very good for a linked in profile and it is kinda stunning. Not in a sexy way but it just has the right lighting.Johnny Novgorod said:
He didn't say anything in a sexual manner.
Was it appropriate on Linkedin? Probably not. Was it sexist? No.