I could be talking to the entirely wrong group of people about this, but here we go anyways

[Kaytastrophe]

Oh, I completely agree with limiting his video game playing. This could be my own hang up, but I don't want him playing before he goes to school. After school is fine, but first thing in the morning on a school day seems wrong.

But the problem is I am step dad, and right now I am living with his mom and his grandma in grandma house. And grandma gives in to his ever whim and doesn't believe in saying no to a child. I know we need to get our own place and we are working to that goal.

But mostly it makes me feel good that other gamers feel that same way I do.

I know you've got some good advice already, but if you don't mind I would like to perhaps offer some different advice based on personal experience. When I was about his age I went through the exact same thing. I would get up early so I could play video games, come home same thing, every waking moment was video games. It consumed my life. Rather then putting up resistance my parents allowed me to carry on like this for a couple weeks and such. After a while they sat and talked with me asking me about the games I was playing saying that it must be really good if I am spending so much time with it. After listening to me go on and on about it they asked if I missed doing the other things I used to enjoy (reading, drawing, playing sports) and talked about how I used to love them and was good at them but that I don't do them anymore. It made me realize exactly how much time I was wasting on games.

Long story short, don't force him away from his games because he will only want them more. Talk to him about it, figure out why he likes it so much. Ask him if he misses his other interests, maybe he isnt getting the sense of accomplishment in his other activities like he does in video games. By taking this route you wont become a force in his way of doing what he wants, grandma can still let him play as much as he wants. As for the fight for the tv talk to him and say that you don't mind him using the tv but be open with him tell him if there is a show you'd like to see that he should give you the tv, but vice versa tell him if he wants to book the tv to just ask. Honestly he doesnt sound like a bad kid just one who is either trying to escape something or feel a sense of accomplishment

 

[Lyri]

let them throw a temper tantrum, they only throw a temper tantrum because they know it will allow them to get their own way. if you say no, don't then give in because they have a tantrum.

This is the best advice.

You just need to ignore their tantrums basically, they do it because they're expecting you to give in from past experience.
Plan some out door days too, take your kids for a walk or to the park instead of being in all the time. Keep them away from it and entertain them and you may find them not bothered anymore.

If your son came home and started reading fiction would you be upset?. If he became interested in fine art, would that be a problem?.

I say let him play, first of all, trying to get him to stop is just going to exasperate the issue, but second of all I don't think there's much harm in it. He's going through a process, trying to figure things out, kids do that. He'll most likely stop soon enough, and even if he doesn't, who's to say that he doesn't spend his time at school doing other things?.

Of course he's at school doing other things, he's 7 years old. Besides, what do you expect him to do at school?

OP's problem was how he beelines for it and throws a tantrum if he can't, clearly a behavioural thing here. The fact he's playing games isn't a problem.

 

[Iron Criterion]

Please. As a child all I ever did was go to school, rush back home and play video games and I eventually turned out normal - somewhat normal at least.

 

[Guffe]

Don't know if I'm the right person to say this since I am only 20 myself but make him do something else.
Get him to go out and do something with his friends.
Make him join a sport of some sort and let him try do different things.
Tell him that after he's done something (been out playing for a while) he can play for a while.
Not sure this helps in any way, but good luck with you stepson, hope nothing bad comes out fo this.

 

[Freaky Lou]

I wouldn't worry too much. Playing games is fun, and kids always complain when they don't get to have their fun. I know that when I was a little kid I quite probably would've played games all day had I not been prevented from doing so, just like kids would eat nothing but candy and pizza if you let them.

That's what parental moderation is for. No need to be troubled about it.

 

[Korolev]

While there is nothing wrong with playing video games, there IS something wrong about ONLY playing video games in your spare time. Playing video games all day long will stop him from reading, seeing, interacting and doing any of the other great things that this world has to offer. I enjoy playing video games, but I ALSO enjoy looking at a good sunrise, walking in a park, talking to family members, reading a good book, watching a good documentary and hell, sometimes just sitting in a quiet room thinking about things.

Young kids CAN get hooked on video games, and they can get addicted. I would know - I've had friends and family members addicted, badly, to video games. It really can happen. A well rounded person will have many interests and many talents.

Now, before the rest of you yell me down, I will say that EXCLUSIVELY reading books, or EXCLUSIVELY doing any leisure activity is bad for you. Moderation is the key to all things. As fun as video games are, they cannot impart the experiences and wisdom necessary for someone to become a educated, polite, well-rounded, multi-faceted person. You need to LIVE your life for that to happen, and if you only play video games, you're NOT living your life to its fullest.

I play video games about... oh, three to four hours a day? Maybe? And that's enough for me. Some days I don't play any at all.

Introduce some good books to your child. He's 7 right? At that age, I was reading fairly simple stuff, but I was reading a lot. By the age of 10, give him "The Hobbit" to read. That's age appropriate.

It's also critically important to ask him what else he'd rather be doing. Kids at that age have a diverse array of interests. As him if he'd like to go somewhere or do something or play with a toy.

Once again: there's nothing wrong with playing video games. There is something wrong if video games are your entire life. Because a life of just video games is a life without Huxley, Darwin, Newton, Bach and all of Human History. It pains me to see how little of the world young people know these days - they only focus on the now, the present, the immediate, the "right-in-front-of-them" and the personal. Whereas the past, the world, and the entire universe interests them not one jot. They'll spend hours pouring over magazines on how to make their "body hot", but they won't look up at the sky and wonder why the stars shine. They'll spend hours virtually killing virtual soldiers with virtual guns, but they have no interest in what policies their own government is drafting. They'll know everything about alcohol and parties, but they'll stare blankly at you should you mention "The Social Contract".

This world is so unbelievably vast. We are living in an age where we are being drenched with information. You have the entire sum of Western Knowledge at your fingertips - the hard won science and mathematics and history that changed the world..... and most young people simply don't care. And that's heart-breaking.

No, I'm not an old fuss-pot who advocates children sealing themselves away in a study for their whole lives. But I do advocate the cultivation of a wide array of interests and hobbies, in order to build up a person's character and knowledge, so that they might become fully functional adults. Worldly people, if you will. Because if you think that Steam or Xbox Live or PSN or CoD of Battlefield or WoW or any other game is the most important thing in your life, you are missing out. You might not realize it, hell you might passionately deny it, but you ARE missing out on life. You are missing out on the World. You are wasting your ONE and ONLY life, a life that could be spent partaking in the millions of different sights, sounds, ideas and sensations that this world has to offer you.

Games are a part of life. They are not life. Once in a while, pick up a book. Look at the sky. Talk to someone. Discuss an interesting idea. Listen to music you don't normally listen to. Hell, just GO somewhere, anywhere, and observe the world around you. Live your life. You've only got one. And then that's it.

 

[dimensional]

I wouldnt recommend just pulling the plug that is a guaranteed way to piss off anybody imagine if you had just been working on the comp for 3 hours (and not saved for some reason) then someone pulled the plug because they say you need to get out more and are spending too much time at the computer. Yeah I know its a bit different but basically it feels like that person has stolen your invested time and that is not a good thing.
Discipline seems to be your best bet or just give him some stupidly hard and or crappy games and tell him he cant have or play any others until he finishes them (ok maybe not the second bit but it could be interesting to see if he perseveres).

 

[mcnally86]

Don't be wishy washy abou

So I have a 7 year old step son. And lately as soon as he gets up in the morning or gets home from school or we come back from doing something he makes a beeline for the living room to play video games. Even though I enjoy playing games myself, there is just something about how he only wants to play video games when he is home that bothers me. Maybe it has to do with he has thrown temper-tantrums when someone else is watching that and he wants to play.

Now if anyone is wondering, he is playing super Mario brothers 3 or Mariokart.

I have a kid like this in the special ed room I work in. Im not the teacher but as an aid I carry out the plans made up for him. Basically what I what I see works best is actual set in stone rules. If your rules are wishy washy the kids ganna hate you. But if you have written down somewhere, "I do this I get this," or ," I do this I lose this," hes going to be playing against the rules and not playing against you. Try to keep the rules and you two separate entities. You let him get away with things the rules don't. If he does something that upsets you and its not a rule. Do not make something up on the spot. Change the rules later maybe but if you make them up as you go along he will probably tantrum. My examples would be, "for every minute of tantruming you lose 5 minutes of playing gamers later, or if Grandma Mable (I don't know your relatives) comes over to watch her stories so you have to go a whole day without getting the TV, you get candy (Or whatever he likes, ask him what he would want in this case.)"

Or whatever, its your family and I don't know them. This is just my generic idea.

 

[Substitute Troll]

Now I don't know the situation in your family, but if you're a fairly recent addition to his life, don't even try to punish him or whatever. You're not his parent, don't try to be one. ON the other hand, if you are really close, disregard what I said.

You wouldn't be making a fuss if he was reading or painting right? No, you wouldn't. Let him play as much as he wants. But make sure he gets that if his parent tells him to get off the game he's supposed to get off the fucking game without any tantrums. Punish him for throwing tantrums and make sure he knows why you're punishing him.

If it's a shared TV he's using, then it's just not reasonable for him to use it all the time, make sure he knows that.

 

[General BrEeZy]

Work him into other activities over time. Make it subtle yet fun for him. The best motivator to get me away from games is great friends and doing great stuff with them. Someday, like me, I hope, he'll just stop playing altogether.
Good luck, bro!

 

[VladG]

You really have to do something about the tantrums, they are the biggest issue and I think you should be concerned about them. He should be old enough to understand that is no way to behave, and since he still behaves like a 3-year old at 7, there is a serious lack of discipline that will come and bite him in the ass real hard later on. Imagine if he starts throwing tantrums at school because his teachers demand he does his homework

I think you could regulate his playtime by imposing a sort of weekly/daily limit. Something like 2 hours a day ( more or less, depends on how much free time he has after school, the idea would be to have him do something else for at least 2-3 hours a day outside of school) and make sure he doesn't play as soon as he gets home.

Set up some small chore for him to do, or plan an activity, and when he goes in another tantrum (and he will) reduce his playtime for the entire week by a not very small amount.. if he has 2 hours per day, reduce to 1 hour per day for the entire week.

If you stick to your guns, he will realize that his tantrums are no longer a free card to get anything he wants (because that's basically what they are) but bad behavior that has negative repercussions.

 

[Exius Xavarus]

Show him a picture of an obese man, and show him a picture of an athletically fit man. Ask him which one he wants to look like more. If he chooses the athletically fit man, explain to him that he's going to look like the obese man if he sits there playing games all day long.

 

[Dandark]

I was kinda like this too. When he cannot play video games either because someone else is using the TV or you won't let him on then he probably feels cheated out of it.

I'd get him out if you can just to take him for a walk or somethign every now and then.

 

[Klarinette]

You need to pull the plug on his video games for a moment and push him to play outside. Go take a walk with him, throw a football back and forth, play basketball. Let him throw his tantrums, eventually he'll calm down.

I'll pretty much go with this. If the tantrums result in a 'Fine, you can play' then he's learned that the tantrums work. Get that kid outside while he's still young enough to set into routines.

 

[monkey jesus]

I've started playing games with my 5 year old son, mostly the Lego series but there are some other puzzlers we play together. We are doing the riddler trophies in arkham city too
Its only really started since the weather went bad and we can't do stuff outside.

It's become something that we do together but its also useful as a way of getting him to understand priorities. If his homework is not done then he doesn't get to play, if we are doing something else then we don't stop to play and if he gets angry with a game then it goes off.

Also if he behaves badly at school etc then gaming privileges are removed "good things happen when you are good, bad things happen when you are bad". If he makes a fuss when I say its time to turn the game off then he doesn't get to play again for a few days.

My advice would be to play with your kid and leave them in no uncertainty that its a privilege.

Overall introducing my son to gaming has been a positive experience.

 

[Robert Ewing]

You'll have to force him to go outside, set strict restrictions on video game time if he is getting that bad.

 

[surg3n]

So I have a 7 year old step son. And lately as soon as he gets up in the morning or gets home from school or we come back from doing something he makes a beeline for the living room to play video games. Even though I enjoy playing games myself, there is just something about how he only wants to play video games when he is home that bothers me. Maybe it has to do with he has thrown temper-tantrums when someone else is watching that and he wants to play.

Now if anyone is wondering, he is playing super Mario brothers 3 or Mariokart.

Right, hope your reading this OP, because that's why I quoted you, so my point might end up where it's intended instead of feeding some god awful troll...

I used to feel like that, hell I still might and I'm 36 now! - all I want to do is go home and play some Skyrim.

You can see it in videos of teenagers who's parents ban them from Warcraft... I kinda feel bad for them, because nobody can really understand why they have that strong desire to play videogames, and it's not something that can easily be excused, explained, or interpreted. It's easy for adults to label it as videogame addiction, but maybe it goes deeper than that, maybe it's more about maladjustment, low self opinion, lack of control.

Perhaps your step son is insecure about you, the new situation he finds himself in, and the only place that he can rely on making sense, and staying the same is in videogames. Mario won't up and leave him one day. He's 7 and he's already trying to escape from something. The problem is that he won't be able to express himself, least of all to you or his mom.
Perhaps it's up to you to improve the situation.
Try and get involved in his videogaming, that's what co-op games are for. But that way you can at least introduce some common sense. For example, ask him if he's done his homework, and if he hasn't, be dissapointed because you wanted to play him at mariokart, and you can only play if he's done his homework. Make videogaming a reward, by offering better family experiences - especially on the times when he will want to game the most - Friday afternoon after school for instance. Don't use videogaming as a currency, that does not work - use videogaming as a reward, make it something that he looks forward to, not something that he feels he should be ashamed of. Make it a plan to play videogames when you and his mom are happy for him to do that, establish a plan before you get home, so gaming isn't the first thing that he does when he gets in. As I said, make chores and boring activities hurdles that have to be dealt with before gaming can commence... Hell, make his mom out to be the bad guy if you have to.

Most importantly, be honest about videogames - if your doing the dishes and would rather be playing videogames, tell him that!, let him know that it's fine to be a videogame fan, but it shouldn't be all that you do or think about.