I'm 20 years old now and I have yet to find a girlfriend, hell I have yet to be kissed yet and while it only slightly annoyed me before, since the last couple of weeks, it's really been bothering me now. It started when I asked out a girl I liked since I started university last year and I started talking to her around Halloween. I asked her out a couple of months ago, but it turned out she was a lesbian, but of course I completely understood and said that I still wanted to be friends and we have been without any awkwardness. But I won't lie and will admit it really depressed me and made me feel like no matter what, no girl would want to go out with me. It wasn't until the end of June that not having a girlfriend really bothered me after I wasn't able to meet anyone at a gaming/anime convention while my friend that I went with got a lot of attention from the female cosplayers, although to be fair, he was dressed like Jesus, but I admit I was extremely jealous. After we got home to get something to eat, he asked me if something was bothering me and after keeping how I really felt bottled up for awhile, I broke down, saying I couldn't put up with being alone anymore while all my friends have been with a girl before. They comforted me and cheered me up, but really I just can't get over it as I live in an country (Northern Ireland) where the girls just aren't interesting or have the same interests as me and one of the reasons why I wanted to go to university was to meet someone who has things in common with me, but now that I'm entering my last year in Autumn, it's really starting to depress me. Plus I tried joining clubs even the anime and gaming club, but not that many girls go to it and if they do, they're there with their boyfriends. I just don't know what to do anymore, so I'm asking for help on how I can meet someone, preferably if it's in Northern Ireland, as right now, I'm at a loss. Thanks in advance
I just don't know what to do anymore
- Thread starter Kitsune Hunter
- Start date
I'm not really an expert on this (although I can empathise greatly, as, although I'm 18, I also have no luck with the opposite sex), but perhaps you could try dating websites? At least that way, there's no pretense. Well...apart from the fact that some people lie online, but not all of them.
Calm down, kid. As cliché as it may sound: You're only 20, and thus still have your life ahead of you.
Don't worry or hurry; take things slow instead.
Let's just admit it, it's a general observation: Some people are just "lucky". They seem to always somehow get what they want.
While other people feel like they have to strive way more for what they need and want.
The thing is, if you would rather prefer to find someone local you would also have to be more active around there. If you're willing to do so, then go for it! But then again, you also mentioned how it's difficult to find someone who's available, and also has common interests with you. Perhaps in this case you should be slightly more open-minded. Go try out new things; be more connected to people in your surroundings and events happening around you. I'm (unfortunately) not a professional in this subject. Meaning, I also do not know what exactly you should do to meet interesting people in Northern Ireland.
Why don't you try online? I mean, yeah: People do catfish, that's real. However, there are also real people out there to meet. Chances to meet someone with things in common with you are way greater out on the Internet. That is, if you dare.
Also, keep in mind that nothing is guaranteed.
Don't worry or hurry; take things slow instead.
Let's just admit it, it's a general observation: Some people are just "lucky". They seem to always somehow get what they want.
While other people feel like they have to strive way more for what they need and want.
The thing is, if you would rather prefer to find someone local you would also have to be more active around there. If you're willing to do so, then go for it! But then again, you also mentioned how it's difficult to find someone who's available, and also has common interests with you. Perhaps in this case you should be slightly more open-minded. Go try out new things; be more connected to people in your surroundings and events happening around you. I'm (unfortunately) not a professional in this subject. Meaning, I also do not know what exactly you should do to meet interesting people in Northern Ireland.
Why don't you try online? I mean, yeah: People do catfish, that's real. However, there are also real people out there to meet. Chances to meet someone with things in common with you are way greater out on the Internet. That is, if you dare.
Also, keep in mind that nothing is guaranteed.
Relish in Chaos said:
I haven't really tried dating sites, mainly because I'm not sure which is the best one to use and because ever since watching the film Catfish, I'm very distrustful of dating sites as you never know if the person really is who they say they are. Also while it's good to be open minded, I just can't as the girls in this country are just the same, the typical party girl who always goes to night clubs, wears too much make up etc. and I do realise what I just said makes me sound like a grumpy old man with a slight conservative views, but having two sisters who are pretty much just like that and have made fun of my hobbies really put me off from ever going with girls like that as I know they're never understand or grow to like hobbies and that also applies to me and their hobbies.EilaliE said:
I have tried a couple of clubs such as fencing where I met the girl I previously asked out, but as stated, that was a failure and I can see the same thing happening again so I don't want to waste my time on what could be a lost cause, plus there won't be any guarantee there'll be girls in the clubs I have been curious about. Also me and my friends have gone out a couple of times, but barely anything happens when we do, even when I tell them I want to meet someone. I'll try and persuade them that when we do go out, I'll tell them that I'm serious about meeting someone and I'll need their help. Thanks for the advicetricky-crazy said:
I see you said your in northern Ireland so not sure what the popular dating sites their are. I use plenty of fish which is a good free site. Made an account and started talking with girls nearby pretty quickly and may actually have a date in a week or so, which is a first for me and I'm 24. The first day I signed up I actually got a few messages. If anything just google "What are some good free dating sites for Ireland" or something, that should get you going. Way way easier to meet people that way, I should've done it years ago frankly.
A howdy-doodly-doo to you, sir!
Well, as I don't live in Ireland, my advice ain't gonna be the best, but I know about the frustrations of feeling like you're stuck in the middle of nowhere. See, I live in a pretty remote part of Scotland - not the most remote, mind, but for a city slicker like me, it's a world apart from what I was acclimatized to for most of my life. In terms of meeting people my age, there are pretty few options. It takes a lot of money and fuel to get further afield to the bigger settlements or even the cities like Glasgow or Edinburgh. The further you travel, the better your options are likelier to be. Most of the people you'd meet here probably wouldn't be people you'd want to spend a lot of time with. :/
I know for a fact that there are quite a few people on this site alone who feel the way you do, so you're not alone by any means!
Sometimes, when you get stuck in a rut, you can make the mistake of slowly driving yourself mad worrying about stuff like this, but believe me, it's definitely not that bad in the grand scheme of things. You just have to expand your horizons, like tricky said. The more people you meet, the more you'll become interested in, the more you'll have to talk about and the more happy and confident you'll be. Relationships might not work out, but you have to take a positive outlook to this stuff: it's all experience, it's all helping you. Exercising, even stuff as simple as walking or running, can help take your mind off of stuff like this. Music's also a boon. It's all good, it's all progress. Take each day slow and steady, like it's your first.
Well, as I don't live in Ireland, my advice ain't gonna be the best, but I know about the frustrations of feeling like you're stuck in the middle of nowhere. See, I live in a pretty remote part of Scotland - not the most remote, mind, but for a city slicker like me, it's a world apart from what I was acclimatized to for most of my life. In terms of meeting people my age, there are pretty few options. It takes a lot of money and fuel to get further afield to the bigger settlements or even the cities like Glasgow or Edinburgh. The further you travel, the better your options are likelier to be. Most of the people you'd meet here probably wouldn't be people you'd want to spend a lot of time with. :/
I know for a fact that there are quite a few people on this site alone who feel the way you do, so you're not alone by any means!
Sometimes, when you get stuck in a rut, you can make the mistake of slowly driving yourself mad worrying about stuff like this, but believe me, it's definitely not that bad in the grand scheme of things. You just have to expand your horizons, like tricky said. The more people you meet, the more you'll become interested in, the more you'll have to talk about and the more happy and confident you'll be. Relationships might not work out, but you have to take a positive outlook to this stuff: it's all experience, it's all helping you. Exercising, even stuff as simple as walking or running, can help take your mind off of stuff like this. Music's also a boon. It's all good, it's all progress. Take each day slow and steady, like it's your first.
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