I just lost my mother to lung-cancer...

ScorpionPrince

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Sep 15, 2009
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Hey Escapists, My mother died in her sleep this sunday. I was the last to visit her in the hospital the night before. Things seemed to be going well, she was still very weak, but she had hope that she would at least have the energy to walk around a bit and celebrate christmas together with the family.

Then, early next morning I got a call from the hospital... I woke my father and we rushed over there. When we saw her, her body was still gasping for air, and even though the doctors assured me that she didn't feel anything, it was still horrible to watch.

I called my brother and two sisters, making sure that the first thing I mentioned was that she died in her sleep, because it would alleviate so much worry that she didn't die while being conscious of dying. Telling her the news that my mother had died was horrible. The shock and the cries were so intense, I didn't even recognize their voices anymore.

By the time I finished calling them, my mother had stopped gasping for air. My mother was always very tan from being outside all the time, even in the 4 months of us knowing that she had lung-cancer. But now, she had turned yellow. Even though I love my mother dearly, I could sense that what was lying in that bed wasn't my mother anymore.

While I don't really believe in an afterlife, I can be certain of two things: If there is no afterlife, Her suffering is now over, and she died how she wanted to die: in her sleep. If there is an afterlife, because she was such a warm, caring, selfless person, I'm sure she will get a nice cozy spot to live.

Thanks for reading this, I just needed to vent. It helps.

I'm listening to the shadow of the colossus soundtrack, and I find it soothing. Do you have a song you like to listen to when you've lost a loved one?
 

tippy2k2

Beloved Tyrant
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Apr 3, 2020
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I suppose the first order of business is to say that I'm sorry for your loss.

I've been very lucky. Both of my parents are still alive, I have yet to lose any real friends, and the grandparents of mine that have passed were gone before I really knew them. I have been told that I was very close with my Grandfather before he passed but unfortunately, I don't remember that at all (I was...four?...I'll go with that; I was four when he passed away).

As to the question at hand, I can only speak as an outsider but I have asked that if something happens to me that this song is played at some point during the funeral. I have...stepped away from Christianity since leaving college but I still think that this song is a gorgeous song and I hope that it can help provide comfort to those left behind.

 

ninja666

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May 10, 2020
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Even if you needed to vent, I'm not sure if it's the best place to do so. Still, I'm sorry for your loss, especially since it was someone so close to you. The closest person I lost was my grandpa, and I still cried like a ***** at the funeral, so I can't even imagine how you must feel.
 

dragoongfa

It's the Krossopolypse
Apr 21, 2009
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I am sorry for your loss, it's hard for everyone and I understand the need to get it out of your chest.
 

Julius Terrell

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Feb 27, 2013
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I'm sorry for your loss. I know what you're going through. I found out that I lost my grandmother back in 2007, and it took me months to get over it. A lot of times I would just start crying for no reason at all, but I thought about my grandmother a lot. I usually have a few movies that I would watch at a time like this.

Samurai X: OVAs
Grave of the fire flies
The last day in this universe
An angel's egg
Dark side Blues

Music wise:

Peter Igor Tchycosky's 6th symphony would do

You just have to give yourself time and work through the pain. That's what I did. Take care!
 

ScorpionPrince

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Sep 15, 2009
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Thank you everyone. I'll try out everything you've suggested. As for your comment on this not being the best place to do so ninja666, This place does not serve as a replacement for all the calls and visits with friends and family. It can only add to that.

There is something comforting in the fact that some friendly stangers on the other side of the world who share a passion with me (games) can read this. They can share the grief a bit, and make some helpful suggestions of music or otherwise.

I don't have many friends that like games, so getting the help of friendly experts/afficionados/connoiseurs of game music, especially music that is really nice to hear when mourning, that's the real benefit for this topic.

So again, thank you.
 

DanteRL

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Jan 14, 2010
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Hey man, sorry for your loss. Can't say much more, but just, try to remember the good moments. That's a way to honor her.
 

Dizchu

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Sep 23, 2014
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Stay strong. It was courageous of you to share your feelings on a forum like this. I think I can speak for many of us when I say that we wish you and your family the best in these hard times.


This album has got me through some rough patches lately. Take care.
 

Spaceman Spiff

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Sep 23, 2013
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My condolences, OP. I've also lost family very close to the holidays, though I've yet to lose a parent. I can't say that I have any preferred music for this type of situation. sorry.
 

Callate

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Dec 5, 2008
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I'm so very sorry. My own mother died some seventeen years ago, rather suddenly, after an aneurysm. I cannot and will not say that I know how you feel, because I did not know your mother, so I can't know exactly what her loss means to you. But I will say that you have my deepest sympathies.

All I can advise is to surround yourself with people who care about you while you work through it, and don't expect the process to be formulaic or predictable.

Peace be with you.
 

CrystalShadow

don't upset the insane catgirl
Apr 11, 2009
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Well. I'm very sorry to hear that.

I lost my grandmother to lung cancer when I was quite young, and it can hurt for a long time...

I... Don't know what else I could say though. Sorry. This is not something I'm good with...
 

Haerthan

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Mar 16, 2014
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I am very sorry for your loss. I am afraid that I cannot share anything of import as I have not suffered as you have and I hope for that day to be long in the coming. Also my taste in music is not really in line with such events. All I can offer are my condolences and my hope that you know that she loved you and the rest of your family.

I wish you a Merry Christmas and A HAppy New Year, but with that event in mind, it is anything but happy.
 

RhombusHatesYou

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Mar 21, 2010
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ScorpionPrince said:
Do you have a song you like to listen to when you've lost a loved one?
Not really. I tend to listen to music we both liked and remember the good times we had.

Or I express my anger at the world for the loss of someone I care for by spinning up some old grindcore, hardcore punk, or oi cds. Then spinning up some ska to cheer me up again after.


Condolences to you and your fam for your loss.
 

trollnystan

I'm back, baby, & still dancing!
Dec 27, 2010
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I am so, so sorry for your loss. I lost my mother to cancer too, although thankfully (in a way) I was too young for it to impact me personally. Everyone else's sense of loss - and their actions because of it - affected me more. I can't imagine loosing a beloved parent like you describe. Much love and kind thoughts to you and your family during this holiday season.

As for songs... Well, I love music but when I feel the need to cry or vent my emotions I turn to books instead, especially childhood/early teen favourites. Like Ronja Robbersdaughter and Brothers Lionheart, or Good Night Mister Tom. They make me cry and comfort me at the same time as they all deal with death and loss and how life still goes on and is still beautiful.
 

Tsun Tzu

Feuer! Sperrfeuer! Los!
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No real words here. I haven't lost someone quite so close to me, distant relatives aside, so I can't even begin to fathom what you and yours must be feeling now.

Doesn't really mean much since these are just some internet forums with anonymous people, but you've my sincerest condolences, regardless.

In terms of music for...somber occasions, which I'll doubtlessly wind up turning to a similar situation?





And the-
-soundtracks actually have some beautiful, soothingly melancholy pieces.
 

Fijiman

I am THE PANTS!
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I can sympathize because I've lost both my dad and one of my grandpa this year, though not from lung cancer. Here's a few songs that usually make me feel a bit better when I'm feeling down.