If aliens came to Earth, what would you tell them about humanity?

[JoJo]

Carrying on with the space theme. If aliens came to Earth, what would you tell them about humanity? Would you share some the finer products of our culture, invite them in for a cup of tea, or maybe warn them about our foibles?

Nothing too lewd, mind. If you wouldn't say it to your mother, don't say it to ET!

 

[SupahEwok]

I'd tell them to get the hell off my property.

 

[Neurotic Void Melody]

Replace our leaders. If you can't or won't do that, put us out of our misery. Also here's some carrot cake.

 

[PsychedelicDiamond]

"Don't bother with us."

 

[Asita]

We have our issues, but I imagine that everyone does. The simple fact that you've visited us will likely radically change our perspective on our priorities and differences over the next few years. And showing us that interstellar travel is feasible will certainly spark a new space race as we rush to figure out how you did it. We have an interesting future coming up now. Thank you for giving us - as we like to say - a good kick in the pants.

 

[The Rogue Wolf]

When on Earth, try "food". It's a local delicacy!

I'd tell them to get the hell off my property.

Remember, you have to cock a shotgun after saying that. It's required.

 

[Saelune]

Personally, I believe if alien life finds us, they will know about us before we know about them, and probably view us the way we view uncontacted tribes. So if I could tell them anything is that 'Not all of us want our culture protected, take us with you to future alien civilization!'

But I have a more optimistic view of theoretical alien civilizations than some do.

 

[Ghostrick Dorklord]

"We have lotsa spaghetti!"

I have a one track mind

 

[Baffle]

"Stand at least two metres away."

 

[Dalisclock]

"Are you here to take over and if so, how soon can you begin?"

Not that it matters. If they're here with hostile intentions, there's little we can do to stop them. I don't think they'd be stupid enough to get themselves locked in closets or come to a planet which is 70% covered with a substance that burns them. Besides, if they're in orbit, they already have the ultimate high ground.

Though one can speculate they can't be much worse then the current "leadership".

 

[Godzillarich(aka tf2godz)]

" it's not worth conquering us just leave. Not because we will put up a fight but just because we are such assholes."

 

[meiam]

Dude check out this weeks meme!

But seriously if alien show up here I think it'd be best to talk to them about our issues with climate changes and see if they don't have some nifty tech they could spot us to take care of it. Maybe as about any big planet killer that might be roaming around and we're unaware of.

Ultimately we don't know much about any alien, we might be the most beligerent sentient lifeform in the universe or we might be the nicest, whetever will happen will be teh decision of the alien, considering they'd be in a stituation to easily wipe us out otherwise.

 

[JoJo]

Dude check out this weeks meme!

The Tom and Jerry one? (and of course, I can't find a copy of it anywhere now!)

 

[Dalisclock]

" it's not worth conquering us just leave. Not because we will put up a fight but just because we are such assholes."

"Even if you come in peace and give us a bunch of awesome stuff, half the population will complain and a very vocal fraction will accuse you of plotting to eat/brainwash their childern and enslave them"

 

[Gordon_4]

I’d tell them to not bother, we’re too ornery to be decent slaves, to persnickety to be members of any Federations, Alliances or Republics. See above comments regarding slavery for Empires. But I’d probably also say thank you for proving we’re not alone. And that maybe in a few centuries we’ll have chilled the fuck out and my much cooler great, great grandchildren will meet them as equals.

 

[XsjadoBlayde]

Couple o' things, splendid alien creature people;

1. It was like this when I got here, i tried my best to clear up after them but they outnumber me greatly and have vast filthy machinations.

2. They say I got a choice, a voice called democracy or some shit, to make things better. But what they don't tell you is it don't count for shit if you're outnumbered by louder stupider selfisher people, which by the way I always bloody am. Do you know what it's like to be consistently outnumbered by the stupid and selfish? Course you don't, you're adventuring across space!

3. Alright, let's get down to it...take me with you please!...? Unless you're not very nice aliens, in which case, can I have that cool looking vapourising rifle and stealth movement tech pretty please while you head on your way? Ta very much.

 

[morsomk]

"What do they eat?" is my first question, otherwise I cannot be immersed with the idea that aliens exist.

 

[Aegix Drakan]

Not gonna lie, first things first I'd have to ask "Are you here to invade, occupy, assimilate or destroy humanity, or the planet itself? I need to know if I should cross Alien Invasion off my Apocalypse Bingo Card".

Because seeing how 2020 is going, and how the last few years have been going, honestly, that wouldn't surprise me.

Massive environmental disasters, global pandemics, incompetent/malicious people (in addition to the usual corrupt people) in power everywhere, and now Japanese hornets sighted in North America, all happening at once?

Why not just cap it all off with an alien invasion at this point? It would be believable enough.

*cough*

Assuming that's not what the aliens are here to do, well, then I'd ask them what they know about us, what their purpose for visiting is, and I'd try my best to fill in the gaps. Tell them "yeah, humans are super inventive and resourceful, but a lot of us are easily misled or self-serving. Please be extra levels of careful when interacting with us. If, however, you meet some open-minded ones, you're in for a good time. "

 

[Sneed's SeednFeed]

'Thank goodness, now the purges can begin'

J. Posadas: Flying saucers ... and the socialist future of mankind (26 June 1968)

J. Posadas: Flying saucers ... and the socialist future of mankind (26 June 1968)

www.marxists.org

 

[Unstoppable Fizz]

I'd show them some game play of X-Com and tell them that it was a training video that we had.