If Anime Cliches Happened In The Real World

Queen Michael

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Gay people will rape each other and it will be appreciated by all parties involved.

Being gay will make you look like a gilr a lot of the time. No drag necessary.

Also, Anne McCaffrey was right! Being anally raped does make men gay.
 

Eclipse Dragon

Lusty Argonian Maid
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There are no normal cats.
All cats are secretly gods in disguise, especially if they're all black cats. If by some chance they aren't gods, they are secretly part of some great cat empire and may or may not be cat royalty.
 

Misterian

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Only one thing comes to my mind on that sort of situation;

Teenagers would rule the world.
 

Doclector

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Tom Milner said:
any one male will have at least 5 females lusting after him at any one time
Being one of the most unnattractive males, I will have 10.

And I will inexplicably avoid every single one.

And nobody will find this strange.

I think I just reminded myself why I fucking hate harem animes.

Also, some people will grow animal ears and tails, and nobody will ask why.
 

Camaranth

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Every girl will have some form of creepy perverted stalker possibly as part of an official club

You won't be able to tell who is human and who is a secret monster/god/spirit (mostly).

A baseball cap makes you unrecognizable

Fashion will no longer have any influence on the world what so ever (Actually that may not be a bad thing)

Pocket dimensions exist and are easy to cross into
 

Glasgow

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Thedutchjelle said:
Human blood is stored inside the body at 50 atmosphere. Papercuts will propel the entire bloodvolume out of the body within seconds.
I think you meant to say "nosebleeds".
 

Andrew Bascom

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You'll be able to save the world simply by playing a children's card game

If you carry a sword it will usually be twice the length of your body

there will be some cute furry creature, either being annoying to everyone or being a "guide"
 

Canadamus Prime

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When ever someone does/says anything astonishingly dumbfounded/shocking everyone will immediately fall over.

Also everyone in the world will suddenly speak the same language.

EDIT:
Andrew Bascom said:
there will be some cute furry creature, either being annoying to everyone or being a "guide"
Or both.
 

Product Placement

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Every laboratory, research center or high school chem lab should be avoided like the plaque, due to their tendency to turn males into females.

...and no; whatever it was that turned you into a girl, can't revert you back into a male.
 

Hazy

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We would all be stuttering, sweating, flu-afflicted adolescents with no parental figures and chronic nosebleeds.

So orphaned children on Coke.
 

Casual Shinji

Should've gone before we left.
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Terramax said:
Casual Shinji said:
- Romantic relationships between men and women would never develop beyond awkward sexual confusion and misunderstanding.

- All high schooler's parents would be either dead or abroad.
Good ones!
Also, fathers sexually harassing their own daughters is totally cool as long as it's played for comedic effect. For that matter, men sexually harassing any women is totally cool as long as it's played for comedic effect.
 

Queen Michael

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Everyone will speak with name suffixes like "-chan" or "-kun." Even when they're Germans speaking German with each other.
 

Extra-Ordinary

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Everyone's first response to a situation (especially a stressful one) will be to stare and do an anxious grunt or moan.
 

DeltaEdge

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Don't get me wrong, I like anime as much as the next guy, but it would probably be living hell if anime tropes came to life. Especially if it were an ecchi/harem anime. Imagine getting beaten and battered every time the plot(fate in this case I guess) decides to show you their panties or have you walk in on them naked when they are in a room that you should be able to walk into without having to worry about encountering naked people, and then ending up in the hospital after receiving a severe concussion from whatever blunt object she decided to beat you with. And when you get out of the hospital, no one has any sympathy, because it's your fault apparently. And you'd probably have a case of main character stupidity, and be unable to use common sense to avoid some of the more avoidable beatings.

I pretty much stopped watching those kind of anime entirely because they piss me off way too much. Anyways, as for other anime cliches. I'd probably go deaf from the screeching cutesy anime voices, or at least bleed from my ears. I would suffer from severe blood loss due to inevitable nose bleeds. 25 percent of the liquid would be drained out of my face for a giant plewd to form whenever something strange or embarrassing happens. Those are the main things I can think of.
 

Eomega123

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Whenever a group of mildly important people begin a conversation, everyone a good distance away from them but still within sight will immediately stop midstep and retain their frozen position unti the attention of the moment no longer has them in their peripheral vision. This is conidered a gesture of respect, as you wouldn't want your moving to distract the conversing parties.

All weapons will be equally effective in combat, from swords to giant mechs to gardening instruments. The true measure of one's combat prowess is the size of one's hair and one's relative importance to whatever is threatening to destroy the Earth this Tuesday.

Antique shops exist solely to unleash paranormal forces upon the world. Nothing is ever 'Just an old dusty ___', it is always important and usually evil.

Everyone lives in Japan, but no one is Asian.
 

Casual Shinji

Should've gone before we left.
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DeltaEdge said:
Don't get me wrong, I like anime as much as the next guy, but it would probably be living hell if anime tropes came to life. Especially if it were an ecchi/harem anime. Imagine getting beaten and battered every time the plot(fate in this case I guess) decides to show you their panties or have you walk in on them naked when they are in a room that you should be able to walk into without having to worry about encountering naked people, and then ending up in the hospital after receiving a severe concussion from whatever blunt object she decided to beat you with. And when you get out of the hospital, no one has any sympathy, because it's your fault apparently. And you'd probably have a case of main character stupidity, and be unable to use common sense to avoid some of the more avoidable beatings.
This reminds me of another one: Women would achieve Hulk-like strength whenever a man sees them in a compromizing act or pose.