If (blank) was a person, they would be like....

[Yassen]

This is a very common thing but I searched the forums and didn't find this type of thread so I figured I may as well start one.

Basically, pick anything you want that's an inanimate object, a website, a game, a console or whatever and describe what they'd be like if they were a person. I'll start off with the Escapist.

If the Escapist was a person it would be the mature, gaming guy who gives you hope that video games aren't for children and people who get off to blood splatter effects. Although he can be a bit of a grammar Nazi, you still can't help but respect this aspect of him because you still enjoy spending time chatting with him, especially when he randomly gives you badges to pin onto your bag. He always seems to keep up with the times but has a very strange sense of humour around April fools.

Alright, let's see what type of personalities the Escapist community can apply to their loveable inanimate objects.... and no campanion cube jokes please.

 

[traceur_]

if wikipedia was a person, it would a very learned person albeit a gullible one. It would be the guy everyone goes to for information but people don't trust his knowledge entirely. He would be the kind of person who doesn't care that people make fun of his gullibility, he'll keep doing what he always does. He likes to help people with their school assignments and pass on advice other people have given him, he has a group of people following him around to let him know if some advice he is given is just too stupid and promptly erase his memory of it. He knows a lot about things in popular culture and strange things society has invented.

how did I do?

 

[Bunnymarn]

If my Walkman was a person, it would walk around a lot.

 

[Tattaglia]

If a vacuum was a person, he would really suck.

...

Please don't lynch me.