If real life was an RPG...

[FinalGamer]

I was playing FFIX lately, just having a massive nostalgic playthrough of it all and after a nasty battle of being cast Slow upon a lot of times, I looked at my watch and thought "if real life was an RPG, a Rolex would prevent Slow."

So this got me thinking. If real life was an RPG (ignoring modern RPGs such as Persona, Shadow Hearts and The World Ends With You), ladies and gentlemen, what would it be like?

What classes/types would there be?
What bosses would there be?
What would the items of reality do in an RPG context?
What would YOU be, in an RPG context?

 

[BBLIZZARD]

I'd be a guy with two heads where one suffers severe depression and the other is a crazed vietnam vet, and their weapon is a giant toaster that fires crispy delicious bullets at their enemies. And the end boss would be a guy in crutches and you push him off a cliff for cutting you off in traffic.

My Role-playing game campaigns don't last long if you haven't gotten that.

 

[Chibz]

Wait, a REAL rpg or a JRPG? If it's a real RPG I'd be the chaotic neutral bard who just doesn't give a shit.

If it's a JRPG I'd commit suicide until I STAY dead.

 

[Lord_Of_Plum]

If life were an RPG, I would challenge everyone I met to a one on one death match. And emerge victorious. Every time.
I would also have an orchestra following me that would play music that followed along with my current situation. And they would play the Final Fantasy victory theme every time I succeeded in anything.
And it would be glorious.

 

[keyper159]

If life were an RPG I would never lose my homework in the bottom of my backpack again, but I'd still be the dork you shove in trashcans for fun. Only this time I'd grind levels for 5 days, and come back to seek my vengeance on your souls.

 

[FinalGamer]

Wait, a REAL rpg or a JRPG? If it's a real RPG I'd be the chaotic neutral bard who just doesn't give a shit.

If it's a JRPG I'd commit suicide until I STAY dead.

Whichever you want, but I do mean the videogame RPGs, not the D&D-style ones because I have no idea how they work XD

 

[Chibz]

Wait, a REAL rpg or a JRPG? If it's a real RPG I'd be the chaotic neutral bard who just doesn't give a shit.

If it's a JRPG I'd commit suicide until I STAY dead.

Whichever you want, but I do mean the videogame RPGs, not the D&D-style ones because I have no idea how they work XD

Then the second one.

 

[confernal]

If life were an RPG, I would challenge everyone I met to a one on one death match. And emerge victorious. Every time.
I would also have an orchestra following me that would play music that followed along with my current situation. And they would play the Final Fantasy victory theme every time I succeeded in anything.
And it would be glorious.

There is one fatal flaw in your plan... Chuck Norris.

 

[Gamer137]

It would be an exact replica of Tales of Symphonia, and I would be Kratos.

 

[Doug]

If live where like an RPG, say maybe NWN, I'd say...hmmm...

* I don't care, move on wussy moral
* Go on, I'm interested
* Help, I can't say anything beyond these three opinions!

 

[Siris]

I wish life were a JRPG. I'm good at math, so I could kill everyone with NUMBERS!

 

[pffh]

Wait doctors would be healers right? Sweet no waiting for groups for me.

 

[sorry user name taken.]

Wait doctors would be healers right? Sweet no waiting for groups for me.

no death either i guess (what with potions curing everything)

 

[Goldeneye1989]

Half Orc bard baby

dre once wuz a man from nantucket
oo kept all hiz skineins in a bucket
den on day a oomie ran away with da man
and i lodged an shape fing is dear eads

 

[pffh]

Wait doctors would be healers right? Sweet no waiting for groups for me.

no death either i guess (what with potions curing everything)

Crap... well I guess I could always default to some sort of resurrecting NPC

 

[sims629]

what are you talking about if, it is.

 

[Theo Samaritan]

Half of what everybody says would be ellipses.

 

[nikomas1]

what are you talking about if, it is.

Yeah, life is the ultimate RPG... So depressing...

 

[Iron Mal]

Leveling up would be interesting (at this rate I'd be not far off from the max level cap with all the crazy crap I've done).

Imagine finishing a day at work/school/college/university and having a brilliant flash of light surround you before realising that your smarter, faster, stronger, tougher, wiser, sexier and have new and improved powers.