- Mar 9, 2010
Nope. You're never obligated to do anything, it depends on how polite you are. If they don't want to carry their being a dude or lady a while back then they don't have to.
The problem with your argument is, the trans person isn't lying. They're simply not telling their partner something private about themselves, which isn't lying. Note that the original post is talking about dating/pursuing, and I'm pretty sure most people don't tell their date every single one of their secrets on their first dates, or even in their first month of dating.mjc0961 said:*facedesk*axlryder said:For all intensive purposes
This pretty much sums it all up. Don't lie to your partner if you're having a serious relationship, no matter what the lie is. If you can't trust them enough to tell them everything, you probably shouldn't be together in the first place.krazykidd said:Absolutely , be honest from go . If you are ashamed to admit something like that then don't get it done . I cannot believe so many people are saying no to this. Not TELLING the other person is absolutly disgusting and disrespectful , not to mention creepy . And anyone that doesn't should be ashamed of themselves . I have nothin against transgendered or whatever , live and let live and all that jazz , but once you decide to have an intimate ( physical/mental/emotional) with another person , you DO NOT hide things like this . I you are afraid of the other persons reaction then they probably aren't the person for you.
And if a person decides to NOT tell their mate and the relationship has lasted for a substantial amount of time , the they deserve to rot single and alone for the rest of their lives for being a liar . This is NOT something to lie about , and yes lying by omission IS lying .
Ah, but that's not what's being asked at all.Volf said:Good point, but I think you know what is being asked(for a person who was born a man to admit that they were born a man).CrystalShadow said:Lol. But no transsexual would say that, because no transsexual thinks that way about themselves.Odbarc said:Would you keep dating a woman who was born a man?
Would you date the person if they said they were a man before you started dating?
"I'm a man. Want to have sex?"
You (and those making comments like you are) are missing a crucial point in that regard.
You're asking someone to tell you they are actually a man, but they don't think they are.
So... You are in a way asking them to be 'honest' with you by telling you something that in their own opinion is a lie.
How is that supposed to work exactly?
Relevancy is relative, it may not be relevant to him/her, but it could very well be extremely relevant to their partner, if for no other reason than for trust issues. I'm not a bigot or anything, but something like a sex change is a pretty big idea to grasp when with someone, simply because that's a pretty major decision they made and it's quite the mental obstacle someone would need to get past before completely accepting their partner.axlryder said:That's where it gets sticky really. if someone is convinced that it's not relevant since they are now female, who are we to say they're wrong or that such information should be revealed? They haven't done anything wrong. Knowing about child bearing is one thing, but why would someone need to know you're a post-op or even care beyond, I guess, bigotry or homophobia? I honestly can't think of a good reason.Vault101 said:thing is though...is it right to have sex with them...then tell them later?...Mortai Gravesend said:Well what's horrible is the guy who said he'd beat them to the ground in another thread -__-Vault101 said:if its just a fling..then no
long term..hmmm yeah probably, though most peopel tend ot run away screaming with that kind of thing, it cant be easy
I can totally understand not wanting to say anything at all about it until you're sure what kind of person they are, considering the kind of person they might turn out to be...
because if you tell them too soon it could totally freak them out and send them running, but continuing a relationship with them could be considered deceitful
I'm personally disgusted by the thought of having sex with a transsexual just as much as I am disgusted by the thought of sex with a man.axlryder said:just what the title says. This is mainly geared towards men dating post-op woman, but obviously it could go other ways as well. Do you think the transsexual individual is obligated to reveal this information? Or are they simply obligated to inform their partner that they can't make babies? Why? For all intensive purposes, let's say this particular transsexual makes a very convincing man/woman and one couldn't determine they used to be a member of the opposite sex without being told so.
No offense, but it really doesn't matter what you think.CrystalShadow said:I don't consider it a big deal. I think considering it important is stupid.
This is pretty much my exact line of thinking. It's not so much a sense of obligation as it is, as you put it, a breach of trust. If a potential partner is too afraid or just unwilling to share something as crucial as that, then there's this sense of secrecy between the two. Things like that will always slowly eat away at one or the other and tend to ruin the relationship in the end.Abandon4093 said:I think it is
It's certainly something I'd like to know about a potential partner. If they didn't tell me I'd consider it a HUGE breach of trust.
Mortai Gravesend said:I don't give a fuck what most would think.
Okay, here's the best part... I'm not going to even respond to this... I don't even have to.And do note, I don't give a fuck how big a deal it is to people. That alone does not merit telling them.